How do I know what is a normal mood?

I don't know what my baseline mood is. I've been so depressed for so long, then I normally jump into hypomania, then stable but moderately depressed, then suicidal depressed. I have no idea what a normal person's mood is.

I feel so good lately since I've been on the increased dose of Lamotrigine. And I can't figure out what is healthy. I mean, I feel awesome. I'm not manically cleaning. I have energy but not crazy energy. I feel like my mind is not racing but not slow.

Is this what it's like to have a normal mood? Or am I hypomanic and this will eventually fall to my moderately depressed state that I am mostly in?

Do normal people feel generally happy and pleasant? Is this what I've been missing for 25 years? Or is this just a short phase.

I don't expect anyone to have the answers, so I'm mostly thinking out loud (or writing out loud).

Then again, if this is normal and stable, do I know who I am if my bipolar is managed? I hope this is it, that this is my normal and my baseline. I will take medications until I die if I can feel this happy and stable. My husband and I even fought on Sunday and I didn't get out of control or angry.

I don't know.

For me feeling comfortable is what matters. And I can handle quite a wide specter of moods. I can be depressed but be more or less okay with it... sure I try to fight it at the same time... but I don't panic over moods, unless they are very very extreme.

"Normal" is to feel sad over sad things and happy over good things. To feel mad at injustice and stupidity, excited over good things happening. There is however, imho, no such thing as universal "normal" mood. Specter of moods corresponding to situation is normal.

Hi Bird.
In my support group we rate ourselves. 10 being so manic you're in hospital and 1 being so depressed you're in the hospital. So people who rate themselves with a 5 say they're stable on thier Meds.

I'm never a 5. Usually a 3 or a 7. That's me.

Not being in hospital does not mean "normal" and meanigful existance. Some people might rate 5 on this scale (which I would call BLAH), but have bland, boring and empty life. Just nothing moves them either way. Seeing poo on the side walk or kitten has same effect on them. Seeing genocide on news has same effect on them as hearing about some "miracle" story or seeing piece of art.

Stable is overrated, tbh. Subjective functionality, being comfortable in your skin and meaninful life are much more important.

https://www.bdqol.com/

this test provides a good evaluation about how well are you doing overall and does not look just at the traditional view of stability. You may be up and down and still manage your life to satisfactory degree.

I guess to determine if I'm in a "normal mood" I look for warning signs of manic or depressive symptoms and also take situational factors into account.

Like if I'm feeling really stressed and anxious and having difficulty sleeping because I have a big meeting coming up at work, I don't think that's an abnormal mood.

However if I'm having feelings of dread and paranoia during what should be a non-stressful situation (such as going out to dinner with a friend) that would be abnormal and cause for concern.

That's a really neat tool - thanks!

I just got some bad news from California and I'm trying real hard not to let it negatively impact me.
I haven't been up to the new house in weeks. I'm going up there as soon as I feel strong enough.
I don't know why my bed and bedroom feel safe to me.

From your description, it sounds as if you're at a good place - so who cares if it's "normal" or not? I hope for you that you're not hypomanic, but if you had a disagreement with your spouse and didn't get angry, that's a really good sign that your mood is good. I hope you stay where you are.