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#1
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well I decided before I started .. this new T would get everything .. no games, nothing helt back ... as they say the truth and only the truth ...no games no trying to manipulate her ... I asked her two things ... (realizing only a dr can dx) I asked her to help me determine once and for all if I am bp ... and number two ... to keep me alive ...
I told her all I could remember ... answered her questions honestly ... gave her my writings, and some I did recently at 2am ( three pages single spaced...really one long sentance that repeated several ideas ... ), gave her postings I have done here ... showed her my journel .... her comment ... you have ALL the symptoms ... in her opinion yes I most likely am bp ...and my writings are definitely manic ... she still wants to see my wife , and maybe both of us together ... but she was honest with me .. and said she will probably have to hand me off to another ... that I am needing more than she can provide ... I am really not sure if that is good or bad .... but I do not intend to give up ... I will go foward any way I need to ... no more changing my meds myself ,, no more lies to my pdoc ... I have already gave up acess to all my guns , knives and pills (except enough for a few days) ... my wife seems to think it's a joke ... hoping this T can show her just how serious this could get ... until I found "soon-kyu" I was just days away from "going home" as they say ... even now when I am feeling so much better I am always looking for options , for a painless guarenteed way ... I don't dwell on it like last last year but I also never completely forget about it either ... Thanks to all my friends here ... and all the love you have shown me ... and bearing with my "obsessive" ways ... I will get there ... Tigger . |
![]() Anonymous37930, Anonymous45023, Anonymous48850, Hashi/bipolar mom, Ocean Swimmer, raspberrytorte, wildflowerchild25
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![]() furiousfever, wildflowerchild25
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#2
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Hello wiretwister: I celebrate your decision to tell all... hold nothing back as well as to go forward any way you need to. I send warm thoughts your way with the hope that your efforts will be handsomely rewarded.
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__________________
"I may be older but I am not wise / I'm still a child's grown-up disguise / and I never can tell you what you want to know / You will find out as you go." (from: "A Nightengale's Lullaby" - Julie Last) |
#3
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HUGS
Sent from my XT1058 using Tapatalk
__________________
Current Meds Lamictal 200 mg x2 Seroquel 100 mg |
#4
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Hugs, wire. I'm happy you were honest.
I struggle with whether or not the bp diagnosis is right for me too. I have ever since I was given it. It's been eleven years now! I don't know what's really wrong with me. I guess I just have emotional problems. Lol
__________________
The darkest of nights is followed by the brightest of days. 😊 - anonymous The night belongs to you. 🌙- sleep token "What if I can't get up and stand tall, What if the diamond days are all gone, and Who will I be when the Empire falls? Wake up alone and I'll be forgotten." 😢 - sleep token |
#5
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I think it's good that you were transparent with your therapist and don't think that him/her referring you to someone more experienced / who specializes in BP treatment is necessarily a "bad" thing. I hope that your wife begins taking things more seriously ... maybe her coming to a session with your T could help that come along.
Keep fighting the good fight ![]()
__________________
--Keegan BP1 Substance Use Disorder -- Alcohol (In Recovery) 900mg Lithium 15mg Temazepam PRN "Just Because You're Paranoid Doesn't Mean They're Not After You"
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#6
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It is my personal opinion that people with bipolar should not have easy access to guns or knives in their homes. I think giving them to your wife is a sound decision.
And not manipulating your therapist is another sound decision. ![]() |
#7
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Quote:
Good for you!!! You're letting yourself be vulnerable and accepting any and all care from this point on. No BS. No holding back. Open yourself up and start the healing process. Your BP but it's not the end of the world. I have to say I admire this post you made. I'm still procrastinating on getting back into therapy but when I do, the only way to go into it is how you are here. Bravo my friend and keep up the good work. That's the only way you're going to get anything out of this. If it's one thing I have learned, therapy can go good or bad. It's up to you. ((Hugs)). Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk |
#8
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Hey Tigger~
So what did you learn from the new T? You certainly have her enough info regarding yourself! I've never struggled too much with the bp DX. When it was called Manic depression I thought , ok that is how I am affected. Good for you! Getting right person to help you will be great!
__________________
![]() Day Vraylar 3 mg. Wellbutrin 150 Night meds Temazepam 30 mg or lorazepam Hasn't helped yet. From sunny California! |
#9
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I am writing this here , but I may make a post later about it ... it seems I am saying the wrong thing in my pm's ... not trying to but it seems I am ... so I have decided to unfriend everyone on my page ... I mean no offence to anyone .. I have always wanted to be helpful .. and it appears I am not doing a very good job of it ... so I am just going to stop sending and reading all pm's ... please do not pm ... I am sorry but you will not receive any futher pm's from me ... bye .. Tigger.
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#10
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Keep on keeping on, Tigger... I wish you the best and congratulate you for being honest with your T. Many hugs.
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#11
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I don't know what to say here; it would be much easier to be private but instead I'll talk around it. I had to be honest with you. If I weren't that would not be a healthy relationship. I don't think you need to shut down totally and honestly since it is me you have a problem with block me and let yourself have other friends. I didn't see this reaction coming and I'm sorry it did but not giving it a chance to talk it out or whatever doesn't really help anyone. I am not sorry for what I said because it was true and it was necessary to say something because of things too personal to me to post on here but I am sorry it upset you. I tried very hard to avoid that. I don't know what else to say; I'm a PM away if you want to talk it out.
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Bipolar 1, PTSD, GAD, OCD. Clozapine 250 mg, Emsam 12 mg/day patch, topamax 25 mg, ,Gabapentin 1600 mg & 100-2 PRN,. 2.5 mg clonazepam., 75 mg Seroquel and 12.5 mg PRNx2 daily |
#12
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Quote:
__________________
Hashi/Bipolar Mom 300mg Lamictal 1800mg Gabapentin 10mg Memantine (weaning off) .6mg Clonidine (for sleep and anxiety) 40mg Propanol (for sleep) 3 mg Xanax 10mg Saphris |
#13
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Quote:
It's not you hun ... this has been coming for months ... I just no longer seem to get it ... I offer too much , expect too much and just really don't know what to say anymore ... I no longer feel I should converse with anyone privately ... if I say the wrong thing openly someone can call my hand, hopefully before anyone is hurt ... I wish I could just blame my bp but I am really afraid it is the old grey matter breaking down with age ... no med can fix that ... |
#14
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Quote:
Hey! You're very helpful here! Please please PM me okay. I tried to PM you but couldn't. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk |
![]() wiretwister
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#15
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Honest post-
Advice- stop sending flirtatious messages to women. |
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