[Icare dixit]

I may visit some friends tomorrow to get some feedback based on more aspects of my behaviour, but I am a bit concerned.

On a scale of 1 to 8 , 1 being not all, 8 very, just from reading my latest posts (and that it is now 1:20 am), how manic would you say I am, compared to my normal gibberish.

Might still just be the DST, but I think it has been gradually climbing, quite some time before that.

Anyone notice an upwards slope? Looser associations?

Or have you stopped reading my posts weeks ago.

Basically, let me in on the gossip. And let me down gently.

[hahayeahtotallylol]

You made a lot of threads recently which was funny i didnt read them but it seemed a little questionable in regards to mania.

I too have been climbing ever so slowly for the past couple weeks. Some days baseline (usually the days after i smoked), then right back to very mild hypomania.

[Icare dixit]

Thanks!

Yes, but mine can really escalate quickly and I am nuts at baseline, so that doesn't make things any easier.

[hahayeahtotallylol]

As long as you are somewhat grounded i think it's okay. The fact that you are even asking these questions is a good thing. By the way i read one of your threads it's interesting

[Icare dixit]

Any loosening of associations and increasing of disinhibition if you scan through all posts in the Psychometrics (predictions) thread (in case of doubt: very serious question).

I pretty much maxed out my antipsychotic, so any increase will do less and less. Might go far when getting really manic. So I should take the right dose now.

Glad you found it interesting.

As far insight goes: I had that when I could barely move from tense muscles, was just wandering and wondering walking very fast and had serious thought blocking, so that's no indication.

[hahayeahtotallylol]

I don't know what you are like normally vs. depressed vs. manic, but your threads seem a bit dis-inhibited in the sense that regardless of if there is a reply or not, you elaborate on your original idea. You also seem to jump from one idea to another fairly quickly, not sure if that's characteristic of you.

It's hard for me to tell for myself too, because i am usually quiet/have no reason to speak/ chilling/ content, even when hypomanic sometimes, but once i get into a conversation it seems like words just come out as if i had been thinking about what to say for weeks, as in, everything is very fast, strong and intense, even though i am thinking on the fly

[Icare dixit]

Originally Posted by hahayeahtotallylol

As long as you are somewhat grounded i think it's okay. The fact that you are even asking these questions is a good thing. By the way i read one of your threads it's interesting

Thanks for your predictions! Interesting to read tomorrow (distractibility).

I don't feel grounded anymore but your post at least lowered my anxiety, so I might I might reach the ground with time.

Thanks again.

[Icare dixit]

Originally Posted by hahayeahtotallylol

I don't know what you are like normally vs. depressed vs. manic, but your threads seem a bit dis-inhibited in the sense that regardless of if there is a reply or not, you elaborate on your original idea. You also seem to jump from one idea to another fairly quickly, not sure if that's characteristic of you.

It's hard for me to tell for myself too, because i am usually quiet/have no reason to speak/ chilling/ content, even when hypomanic sometimes, but once i get into a conversation it seems like words just come out as if i had been thinking about what to say for weeks, as in, everything is very fast, strong and intense, even though i am thinking on the fly

I have those "manic" symptoms always (unless depressed but I do know I am not that! ). That's what makes it difficult. But it escalates like crazy (no pun intended) so I thought maybe a difference was noticeable between the first and last post.

But thanks. I'll take 500 mg quetiapine. 200 immediate-release (just saying because well, just as well, I just decided).

[hahayeahtotallylol]

Your post recently in psychometrics was a bit more jumpy but maybe it was just because you were talking about things beyond the original point of the thread? Ug i hate analyzing people because it's like a Tree - Go down one path and before you know it you've diluted the whole analysis into something convoluted

[Icare dixit]

Originally Posted by hahayeahtotallylol

Your post recently in psychometrics was a bit more jumpy but maybe it was just because you were talking about things beyond the original point of the thread? Ug i hate analyzing people because it's like a Tree - Go down one path and before you know it you've diluted the whole analysis into something convoluted

You must be right but if it's not that very apparent it's fine. Anxiety curbed. I took a moderate dose of my antipsychotic. I wrote it down so I wouldn't increase later. Happened in the past as a mild OD.

The only stupid thing is that pills are far too similar in such situations: immediate- versus controlled-release and such. Liquids are worse still.

But all fine now (I think). Might ask my psychiatrist to up my mood stabiliser, but it might just have been something incidental. Maybe it is the lengths of the days and/or DST. Starts to get somewhat (and sometimes very quickly) more erratic and is trending upwards, just was afraid it was gonna be very hockey-stick-like now. Not that much, it seems.

Anyway, thanks again! Analyse me all you want. You were very helpful (just the talk helped tremendously).

[hahayeahtotallylol]

Yeah i feel you on the upward trend.. In the same boat. At least we've got a rudder and a couple paddles!

I am horrible at analyzing people via internet, partly because i know how easy it is to manipulate your tone, word choice, structure, ect. But buy me a beer and i'd be happy to listen to your life story, offer comfort and encouragement, and then guide you down the path that i deem most beneficial, which is most likely not the correct path for you, but for me!

[Icare dixit]

How interesting all that BP stuff is. Makes one/me feel sorry for those who spend their life researching BP, but never really understand it. Then again, they all have stuff like PhDs and other things they really chose to do, not walking a narrow path with mines all around.

Honestly, purely rationally, I prefer the narrow path and trying staying on it, but straying from it may get you lost really too quickly.

There is a thin line (actually no line) between mania and the start of regular psychosis for some. Feels stable afterwards, but something got entangled, screws not loosened but removed.

So interesting, tempting, so destructive. I don't need help to go down the wrong path.

I won't be visiting the US any time soon but I owe you a beer.

I don't know your typical behavior, but I recognize things in your postings which seem very familiar to my more manic behaviors. Nothing has jumped out and said "this person needs help now" but I do see reasons to be watchful and concerned.

If you are afraid you're ready to go off the rails, or perhaps already have, maybe checking in with a doctor would a safe decision? Is that a possibility?

[pirilin]

If you had the documents ready before you publish them, fine.
Otherwise, some mania, yes. But who I'm I to disagree.

[Icare dixit]

Originally Posted by pirilin

If you had the documents ready before you publish them, fine.
Otherwise, some mania, yes. But who I'm I to disagree.

Yes, somewhat: much of the notation stuff and ideas are something I developed long ago and I use it and game aspect in my work, but I adapted it and wrote the exact instructions during the day. It makes it probably hard to see any change, it being a bit technical/formal.

A pet project I still have in the back of my mind is to develop a computational/automatic mania/psychosis detector based on differences in linguistic/textual markers, comparing texts written at different points in time and discovering a trend upwards or downwards. Might be helpful in such cases, where human readers may (sensibly) try to ignore such changes.

Thanks for your opinion/assessment. It does help to keep each other vigilant and I found that is very valuable, even without face-to-face contact.

[Icare dixit]

Originally Posted by ElsaMars

I don't know your typical behavior, but I recognize things in your postings which seem very familiar to my more manic behaviors. Nothing has jumped out and said "this person needs help now" but I do see reasons to be watchful and concerned.

If you are afraid you're ready to go off the rails, or perhaps already have, maybe checking in with a doctor would a safe decision? Is that a possibility?

That would be a possibility but I actually slept enough hours and it helped. Hope it won't keep climbing so much during the day and really disturbing my sleep rhythm/routine, but no immediate action needs to be taken I'm sure now.

In a few days, I have an appointment with my NP and if things are really bad then we'll also schedule an appointment with my psychiatrist. They have always been quick to respond/adapt.

Thanks for your opinion: it helps.

[Icare dixit]

Can anyone having me on their ignore list tell me why? Of course, you may very well do so or not give any explanation for doing so, but I just thought I might learn from it, so as to not make people feel worse. I guess this post will be automatically be ignored so it probably is useless writing this.

It reminds me of an episode of Black Mirror, where blocking replaced talking about problems, in real life, but it was obviously a statement about how newer forms of communication may change the way we deal with the problems we have with the behaviour of others.

Please PM me, whichever way you might see or hear about this post.

I just wanted to say I LOVE black mirror. That was a pretty crazy episode. Definitely got you thinking about how technology could soon be used.

[Icare dixit]

Originally Posted by ElsaMars

I just wanted to say I LOVE black mirror. That was a pretty crazy episode. Definitely got you thinking about how technology could soon be used.

Yes, it's really great. I love dystopian (and futuristic) stories like that. Great it screams at you: stop being so blind and do something about this nonsense before it's too late. Sadly, people usually only learn by experience, not imagination. They can't help it: not BP.

*cough* Brave New World and antidepressants *couch*

When really struggling, just be very different. Do thing differently, develop ways to do so, be creative, and accept that you are different, not anything less, maybe more through your struggle. Precious. Scarce: exceptionally valuable.

[wiretwister]

you know how I feel , take a deep breath , chill a little . you might like it... nothing wrong with the slow life ... Tigger .

[Icare dixit]

Originally Posted by wiretwister

you know how I feel , take a deep breath , chill a little . you might like it... nothing wrong with the slow life ... Tigger .

I'm too far gone: "mania" has drenched my soul. No but seriously: anything more chilled than talking a mile a minute is rare or it must be depression. Everyone I know is at least hyperthymic, so no native chilled people. Heated temperament. Lots of shouting. But I like it. All under control, just hard to distinguish from real mania and that can very quickly turn absurd.

But I am still just having that same (underlying) "episode" now, I came to call life.

No stiff upper lip but still rather stoic. Just some reactive stuff and back on my way, fighting the good fight...



Hope you don't have a problem with it yourself. Let me know: I am not really manic. Same goes for everyone.

[Icare dixit]

Anyway this thread is too much about me. Thanks everyone for giving feedback. I'll discuss it with my NP about a possible trend.



Thread closed.