[Anxiousvalkyrie]

I've been through a lot in my adult life, along with my mental health issues I've had a ridiculous number of physical health issues (9 surgeries for endometriosis by the time I was 30, hysterectomy by 26, fibromyalgia...the list goes on) and other struggles along the way. I think this has caused me to become very cynical and not have a lot of sympathy or empathy for other people. It gets worse when I'm in a deep depression or am very manic.

I can often get very irritated (sometimes angry) with people when I feel like they're trying to get sympathy from me, or if they're complaining or emotional about something that's happened to them. For the most part when things happen to me I try to do my best and suck it up and deal with it on my own because my BP has caused a lot of people I've cared about to abandon me. Even though rationally it's a sh**y way to be sometimes I catch myself thinking that what they're complaining about is really minor (even though it might not be minor to them) and that they need to just deal with it and I don't know how to offer them comfort at all. This often makes me feel like a bad person.

Anyone else dealt with these types of feelings?

[gina_re]

I can't think of anything in particular, but I want to say yes I have. Before I was even diagnosed and taking meds I didn't give a **** about certain people. And yes now I am even more jaded and have a gigantic wall built up between me and the world. I don't care much for many people and it's not really that difficult if I lose friendships anymore because it happens so much. As far as trying to be sympathetic...this is the relationship between my mom and I. All the does is complain and complain, like what do you want me to do woman?! It could be worse, calm down. Yea I know she's my mom and all, but goodness!!
...and when my grandmother passed, I wasn't exactly looking for sympathy, but just some sort of empathy. But when you are now hurting, you want me to kiss your feet and make you feel better? Nah, I ain't got time for that.
Ok that turned into a weird rant...

[Icare dixit]

I can very much relate. Suffering can make one rather antisocial (not meaning sociopathy, particular expression, but just in that direction, can be borderline or SZ-like).

I can be/appear very unaffected, cold and feel frustration. What causes more frustration is that many people in reaction to that (or when I explain why I react like that) will try to "proof" to me how very much they suffer, like I didn't get what they were saying the first time. Some people try to "proof" (it's implicit, but still) that they are suffering and I am not, based on my cold/composed reaction to suffering, reasoning I can't suffer or have suffered.

It's very frustrating. Honestly, if there are people I hate (I don't generally hate, not believing in malicious intent, ever: it's part of my religion and my religion is delusional, very strong), it's those people.

I'm always very matter-of-fact if I'm asked about any schizomania symptoms/behaviour/feelings/urges, I never tell anyone anything about it for any other reason than to explain myself.

However, when people just explain their problems in a similar way or they don't realise they overreact (like with "pure" neuroticism), I can be warm and sympathetic enough. I am empathetic. Very much so.

Some people just have no idea how other people may suffer.

Edit:
Same with physical pain: I've experienced two of the more extreme forms of pain and self-harm.

[Anxiousvalkyrie]

It's nice to know I'm not alone in this. My sister often will only contact me when she has something to complain about (which is a lot)...and she's usually wanting sympathy for things she's inflicted upon herself out of general stupidity or wanting to be the victim in a situation where she shouldn't be. It absolutely infuriates me. I don't talk about my problems much with friends and family, but if for some reason I do (usually just to explain myself or my behavior) she tries to 'one up' me to try to show me how 'horrible' her life is. She doesn't know a 10th of what I've dealt with over he years both physically and mentally...most people don't actually.

I know everyone fights battles we know nothing about, but a lot times the things people complain to me about just seem so trivial to me and I feel like they blow hints out of proportion. I hate that it makes me so irritated and angry.

But I'm honest with people and tell them straight up I'm not good at sympathy. I even do it with my husband. He's accepted that I'm not good at it, I'm trying to be more sympathetic when he needs me to be, but it's really really hard for me.