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  #26  
Old Apr 21, 2016, 07:50 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by smallwonderer View Post
I agree with this. To fight to be stable is not self-loathing over bipolar, it's just saying feeling good when manic is not the same as feeling good when stable. When I am manic, it's easy for me to convince myself that my manic way of being is more 'authentic' but I don't feel that way the rest of the time and am usually frustrated with things I did when manic. So I think the solution is to avoid mania where possible because it makes it too hard to have to handle the fallout from decisions made in another state of mind.
Just don't fear it.

But I do think some "controlled exposure" to mania and depression helps. It partly prevents severe, uncontrolled periods.

If it's already part of your personality, you shouldn't suppress that, but embrace it and change it to something both more deliberate and healthy.

I think having some of that as part of your personality is a way of controlling it, but arguably you only developed it when it's useful to you. Maybe just for those who have more severe mania than severe depression.

This is what I believe and experience.
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Mania kills cells. Brain cells die. Memories become more reduced conceptually, making more efficient use of limited means. Memories shape our reality. Our memories are more or less split in two by abstractions, conceptual reductions. Mood states with memories, concepts, attached. Memories of pain and those of joy. It causes instability, changeability. Fearing that will leave an emptiness between pain and joy and a greater divide.
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  #27  
Old Apr 21, 2016, 09:00 AM
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Icare dixit Icare dixit is offline
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Basically, much or all of what you see as an illness may in itself be the best possible and healthy, behaviour, given an underlying, genetic and/or biochemical, difference, unless you fear it or you don't believe in it, not believing you are right and they are wrong in some (essential) ways (assuming, as I do, that every delusion has quite some (basic) truth to it).

You could argue that what underlies your manic-depressive behaviour is an illness, a mostly transient, recurring, partial blindness of sorts, but I don't like to see it that way.

I have ginger hair, but I don't see it as an illness because it's quite rare.
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Mania kills cells. Brain cells die. Memories become more reduced conceptually, making more efficient use of limited means. Memories shape our reality. Our memories are more or less split in two by abstractions, conceptual reductions. Mood states with memories, concepts, attached. Memories of pain and those of joy. It causes instability, changeability. Fearing that will leave an emptiness between pain and joy and a greater divide.
See Me, Feel Me, Touch Me, Heal Me.
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