Bipolar Personality

Oh! I know what I wanted to add!

I've also never been depressed for no reason. For me it starts with some life changing, stressful event, that gets me down feeling, and then the down feeling snowballs, until it becomes severe depression with suicide ideation.

Same with the other side of things. It'll either start with me beginning a great new writing project, then snowballs into this huge frenzy of creativity and little sleep and perma euphoria and sometimes some mild/non threatening psychosis, except for my situation last year which I feel was triggered by extreme stress and anxiety.

So... the beginning of my mood situations are always triggered by something. They've never just come out of nowhere.

At least, that I can think of at the moment.

This is the part that's really confusing for me - there is nothing that really 'triggers' depression - at least not in the sense of something specific happening...it's more like "life is so amazing, I'm so amazing, I have so many amazing ideas and I don't have time to eat or sleep!" and then everything gets too confusing and overwhelming and I can't keep track and things start to seem less and less amazing and more and more empty and idiotic until CRASH! "this isn't working, nothing ever works, I'm a failure, I hate myself, I can't stand to be alive". repeat repeat repeat.