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#1
Apr 27, 2016, 03:40 PM
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I feel hopeless.
Defeated. Like screaming. I'm at work, and I can't catch my breath. I don't have a personality anymore. I can't feel anything but vibration in my limbs and a hole opening wider and wider in my chest. Everything is gonna fall into that hole. If I'm lucky I'll disappear. I'm only venting, the tingling in my feet makes me want to run away. I could run so fast. I could run into a wall. I could drive into a wall. I don't need my car. I don't need my nose or my teeth anymore. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk |
 Anonymous59125, gina_re, Icare dixit, Shadesofdark
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#2
Apr 27, 2016, 04:43 PM
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Get a hold of yourself. You may have no hope, but you have a future. If that makes any sence.
I don't want you scaring me silly all right?. Now, be a good girl. Throw your car keys in tall grass so it takes time to find 'em. By the time you'll find 'em, the worst will be behind you. If not, repeat again. This time throw farther away. (I should have been a doctor.) Cheer up. We only live once. 
__________________
]Roses are red. Violets are blue.[ Look for the positive in the negative. PIRILON. If lemons fall from the sky, make lemonade. Unknown. Nothing stronger than habit. Victor Hugo. You are the slave of what you say, and the master of what you keep. Unknown. |
 Coconutzo
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#3
Apr 27, 2016, 05:02 PM
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I'm feel as though I'm just circling the drain at this point, but fear not! The boyfriend has the keys to my car. I have the chains of responsibility. I have this sense of impending doom. I also have real heavy **** looming in the very near but uncertain future. I suppose now would be a good time to vacation from myself. I'll hop outside and watch my body go through the motions.
"Hey body, I can't believe you are functioning! Look how you have conversations with an expression that so closely resembles real emotions. Id be proud of you if I felt we were one in the same. I only find myself amazed. I'm going to lick the dirt off the floor" Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk |
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#4
Apr 27, 2016, 05:29 PM
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Sending you big hugs. This sounds terrible. I hope you have someone in your life who you can share/talk with. You definately sound like you need support right now. I hope you have kind people in your life. (((Hugs)))
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| Coconutzo
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#5
Apr 27, 2016, 05:32 PM
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Nothing will happen that hasn't happened before. (I'm enlightened today.)
Yes, good time. You and your body should take a vacation. Take the boyfriend. He's got the keys. So many nice things to lick and you think dirt. How about lollipops. Hey, ice cream too.!! Be safe. I won't lie and say I love you, but I do like you. In all your madness and all you witts. I passed GO and collected 200 so you're on your own kiddo. Good luck!!!. I'm kidding, of course. If the going gets tought and the tought are not going PM me, You got a friend.
__________________
]Roses are red. Violets are blue.[ Look for the positive in the negative. PIRILON. If lemons fall from the sky, make lemonade. Unknown. Nothing stronger than habit. Victor Hugo. You are the slave of what you say, and the master of what you keep. Unknown. |
| Coconutzo
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#6
Apr 27, 2016, 05:42 PM
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Thanks friends. I'm hoping the world will allow me the space to crawl into a hole tonight after work. I hope my inner restlessness settles enough that I don't claw myself to bits trying to still my mind.
It'll be fine. She'll be coming round the mountain? Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk |
| pirilin
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#7
Apr 27, 2016, 10:11 PM
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Coconutzo, you have a way with words: beautiful descriptions of depression.
Use that gift. Not that many have the emotions, fewer still can describe it well. You have lots of value. Your words alone have helped me feel less alone. 
__________________
Mania kills cells. Brain cells die. Memories become more reduced conceptually, making more efficient use of limited means. Memories shape our reality. Our memories are more or less split in two by abstractions, conceptual reductions. Mood states with memories, concepts, attached. Memories of pain and those of joy. It causes instability, changeability. Fearing that will leave an emptiness between pain and joy and a greater divide. See Me, Feel Me, Touch Me, Heal Me. |
| Coconutzo
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