Bad Idea to Ask for Advice?

Have you ever gotten bad advice from others due to them misinterpreting what was REALLY going on due to your mental illness? I feel like this happened to me last week. I was having intense anxiety due to a problem my husband is having. Although my husband is an emotional person, he is not a bad husband, in fact, he is a wonderful husband. His emotions (bipolar-like, possible thyroid condition) make me really stressed sometimes. I was considering a separation last week because I couldn't handle the strong emotions he was feeling and expressing. Friends and family were telling me they didn't blame me for considering a separation. But one friend (thank goodness) encouraged me to pray for my husband and "show him grace." Once I sat down with my husband and "showed grace" (by empathizing with his plight), he calmed down and things calmed down.

Now that my anxiety has calmed down, everything is okay. I still have a tendency to worry and obsess about my husband and his happiness, but I really don't think separation is the answer. I believe we are both on a journey to find inner happiness and happiness with life. I think there is a Divine purpose behind that, and I think I need to focus more on that (my faith in our purpose together) rather than complaining about my problems to others. I don't want anyone to discourage me from my journey with my husband.

I seriously need to stop complaining so much to others in the heat of anxiety attacks and obsessive thoughts. I don't think they are getting "the whole picture." Do you sometimes feel it is detrimental to ask for advice since our perspective colored by mental illness?

(Also posted in Anxiety and Phobias)

If you're complaining to others in the heat of anxiety, then anxiety is what they are going to respond to because that is what they see from you.

It's a rare person who can think past your anxiety and give you a balanced opinion/advice based on your whole life; this is, after all, what a pdoc or therapist is for.

I also have a tendency to do that. I most need to talk when in reality I need to vent. My bf is upset that I don't have more good things to say, but sometimes it's hard. Like now. I really don't like being forced to tell him I love him under the threat of sleep deprivation.

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Response: do u have a talk therapist? Their job is to listen and give a balanced view. Sometimes it's helpful to get out, take a walk, go to the movies, etc
O

Yes, I have an appointment tonight

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I don't think asking for advise is the problem. I think we need to be very careful when taking any advise from anyone. I'm a pretty susceptible person in general. If others tell me I should do something, I always fear they are right. In the end, if I take the advise of others, I've regretted it totally. Especially when it comes to relationships. Advise can be well meaning and still be terrible advise. Whatever a person chooses, it should usually (not always) be what is in the heart and mind of the person, not their friend.

It sounds like you made a good decision for yourself and husband. Your situation sounds difficult but sounds like you are taking things in stride and growing as a person. That is good. (((Hugs)))