[Bobbyj]

Okay so i have been struggling to kick my opiate habit and i think it has me cycling like crazy. Last night i felt like i had endless energy, i ran for awhile, did a bunch of things on my to do list, talked a ton, etc. I was also very quick to start swearing while talking to my mom and raised my voice over small things, but also felt very happy at the same time talking about all sorts of things and being nice and understanding. I felt like i could go off at any second, but was in a good mood at the same time? Then i was with my girl later and was crazy sexual and talkative. At the same though moments later i'd feel like i was crashing and get a foggy feeling and headache and just kind of lay there saying nothing. Then i'd get all excitable again. Then i'd feel suicidal for no reason, just like thinking of killing myself because i'd think i don't belong in this world. It was just all these symtpms going up and down, but it was happening in the matter of minutes.

Thanks for reading

[Nammu]

Sounds more like withdrawal symptoms than a mixed episode. It takes 1-2 years to regulate moods after getting clean. Also mixed mood states last longer than one day.

[Bobbyj]

Anytime i withdrawal though i feel terrible, and would not feel like doing anything. I also don't think i've been doing enough lately to have any heavy withdrawals. This could be a possibility still though. I bought some kratom to help ween off. I just don't know how to stay off. It's always when i'm feeling good that i slip up.

Could be withdrawl symptoms or could be mixed episode. Talk with your doctor and get their thoughts on things. Have you went through withdrawl before? Is so, is this similar to that? How much opiates and how long have you been taking it? These are important things to ask your doctor.

[Bobbyj]

I don't really even have a doctor atm lol... I've had withdrawals many times before and it didn't feel like that. I am well aware of substance abuse mimicking MI. Thing is other people i know that use, don't seem to act anything like me, and i'm wondering if the opiates just make my BP more pronounced. I'm not really sure how to tell if i'm having an episode or what's going on. I have felt manic and depressed while sober for long periods of time before, but i felt i had it under control and didn't do anything crazy. I was just curious if these symptoms are what people feel when they have mixed episodes.

i don't know what opiate withdrawl in the addiction sense is like, but what you mentioned would be a mixed episode if I went through it. But that's just because the sexual side effect for me would mean hypo at least. I'm pretty low sex drive even while stable due to pain. My pain levels drop when manic. I use only a small amount of opiate and don't have withdrawl if I stop for days or weeks. I wish I had more info on that. For you, this could be withdrawl,.... I would need so much more info. Mania and mixed states are not identical for everyone.

I really don't know bc the opiates are involved. I think you need to be off them before you figure out the bp stuff. My mixed episodes are really horrible. Crying, angry, intense feelings of remorse, anger again, feeling hopeless. Etc....

Do what it takes to get off the opiates. I know it must be hard, but to figure out this bp stuff I think you're going to have to. Best of luck to you.

[Bobbyj]

I totally agree none of this would be happening without the opiates. I'm so frustrated by drugs it has me wanting to give up. I've been dealing with this ******** for 7 years now. I'm still young (24) i just can't help but think my moods have driven me to use in the first place. I'm not a junky, pawning stuff and broke. I never was, luckily i still kind of keep myself together. The issue with me using, even if it's a little bit my moods go all over the place. Fighting with friends, suicidal, delusional... Ahhh so much fun.

[Nammu]

A good step would be to get a pdoc who also understands addictive behavior

I think an addiction specialist is best too. Addition muddies the waters too much to know for sure. All people express their episodes in different but related ways. I get angry at my mothers bd I never am. She becomes "one of them". I will snip her head off when mixed. But I imagine an addict would snip someone's head off if they were withdrawing. I guess my point is, we (well most of us) are not doctors.

[Bobbyj]

I agree with you guys, problem is not many doctors understand addiction. My doctor's description said he helps treat that, but back when i went to him i could tell by the questions he asked that he didn't understand much of it. I'm a strong believer in the idea that only an addict can understand an addict. I don't even blame him it just felt like a hopeless cause. He diagnosed me as bipolar when i told him how much drugs i have used, i basically thought the same thing you guys are saying. You can't really know for sure what MI someone has while they are using. He also didn't understand that i couldn't GUARANTEE i'd never use again when he prescribed me depakote. He told me he could only give me it if i guaranteed i wouldn't get high(at the time i was a month clean). An addict no matter how determined can't guarantee that **** lol.

(((Hugs)))

[zepchic]

I would guess it is a combo of withdrawal, bipolar symptoms, AND kratom. Kratom makes me talkative and peppy and intensifies sex. Though these effects are very short lasting.