[Roaming_bird]

I tried to post this in another section, but no one there is active.

I'm really struggling right now with some pretty awful depression, and am having some strong thoughts about how to hurt myself. I'm not suicidal or anything, but I feel incredibly alone.

[Miss Laura]

Is there no one you can talk to? Hurting yourself isn't the answer as you will get angry at yourself for do this. Have you tried cheering yourself up with something that makes you happy?

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[Roaming_bird]

I thought I'd just reach out for a minute before I have to go to work. It's one of those times where my depression has the best of me. I know it'll pass. I called my therapist and will hopefully talk to her later this evening.

Thank you so much for replying. Just to be heard helps.

(((((((((Roaming bird)))))))))

Big hugs and thinking of you

[Roaming_bird]

Thank you so much. I'm off to work, trying to make myself not look like I've been crying. Thank you.

[Miss Laura]

If your needing us we are here for you.... even if at times it doesn't feel like it

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[annmaria]

I know the feeling been struggling with it for months now. Sending you hugs

Annmaria

[12AM]

Hope you feel better soon.

[hopeless2015]

HUGS

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[Dontspeak]

Originally Posted by Roaming_bird

I tried to post this in another section, but no one there is active.

I'm really struggling right now with some pretty awful depression, and am having some strong thoughts about how to hurt myself. I'm not suicidal or anything, but I feel incredibly alone.

I feel like I'm too new here to do much more than offer hugs and say you're not alone, in actuality, or experience. Glad you called your therapist!

Sending you big hugs. I'm so terribly sorry you are feeling this way. (((Hugs)))

[GoldenSnitch]

Big hugs. I hope your therapist gets back to you tonight and you can start feeling better.

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[gina_re]

I'm glad you reached out for help, and at the same time I'm sorry you are feeling this way. I'm sure many of us have been in the same situation and have learned that it can get better. Please be gentle with yourself and I'm hoping you'll start to feel better sooner rather than later.

[Roaming_bird]

I regret calling my therapist. She left a message, but basically said if I truly thought talking to her would help, to call between 8:30 and 9, or if I couldn't talk then, to go to the er.

When I told her last week I was feeling like I was getting depressed, she said that therapy might be doing me more harm than good at this point, that I was struggling for things to talk about. She said we should go down to every other week. She said that there were no more meds to try (true). I wasn't looking for a med change (she's a psychiatrist). I was simply trying to be honest about my mood change.

We agreed not to go to every other week, and she encouraged me to be more honest with my thoughts and feelings. I've been monitoring them closely as to not make her mad, which I realize is a projection on my part.

I have not called her in a very long time, and I thought I'd be honest about struggling tonight. I feel like an idiot.

I hate the mood swings. I hate going from feeling wonderful to feeling horrible. I hate feeling like no one gets it.

I don't know the right way to be, when I think I'm being honest and I'm not believed or taken seriously.

Sorry for the depressed post. I don't know where else to "talk" about it.

[wildflowerchild25]

Wow that's an odd response from a therapist! If I told my therapist I was feeling more depressed she would suggest more frequency, not less. And to flat out say there are no more meds to try? How is that supposed to be helpful! There's always something that can be done. New combination, something!

Gosh I hope you feel better soon.

[gina_re]

Originally Posted by Roaming_bird

I have not called her in a very long time, and I thought I'd be honest about struggling tonight. I feel like an idiot.

I hate the mood swings. I hate going from feeling wonderful to feeling horrible. I hate feeling like no one gets it.

I don't know the right way to be, when I think I'm being honest and I'm not believed or taken seriously.

Sorry for the depressed post. I don't know where else to "talk" about it.

I've had these exact same feelings, so I understand where you are. Hopefully you can get the answers you deserve.
And I totally agree with Wildflower, what an insane response! I truly hope it all works out for you. It's annoying being on that roller coaster ride.

[violetgreen]

Sorry you got such ambiguous and idiotically confusing advice from your therapist. That could be a topic at your next appointment. When you ask for her help because of struggling with depression, how can she be more effective identifying treatment options, even if switching up a med isn't an option. Is she just limited in her skill set or experience, or motivatin? Something seems off, I hope this gets sorted for you!

[Wander]

Sorry to hear you are suffering so much. That is an odd response from your psychiatrist. Do you think seeing her more will help? Maybe you should talk that through with her when you see her next. There must be some other options with meds too. How long have you been seeing this pdoc? Keep posting here if it helps. Hang in there!

[spitzkip]

Your anxiety and frustration are completely valid and it's okay to feel these things, even though they're definitely not preferable. Hopefully things get cleared up with your therapist, that response was really odd...

Big hugs and hang tough!!

[exclamationpoint]

Hey there. I hope you feel better soon.

Here is something that helps me: Email Samaritans | Samaritans You can email them any time about anything, and they just listen and respond. I find it easier to email than to call a crisis line.

[UpDownMiddleGround]

I hope today has gone ok for you. Sending you (((hugs))).

[Dontspeak]

I had a therapist break up with me once, I was inconsolable and not making progress. Lithium days. I got off and went back to her. It's been a year now, all good. I doubt you've exhausted Rx, and you sound like you know there is a problem, and want to fix it. Hold on! Idealization is one of my manifests when I'm on the wrong dose/not on a mood stabilizer. I go right there. Is that the case?

[Dontspeak]

Would like to add, never during suicidal idealization. During that, she called my pdoc behind my back, he brought me in, added a mood stabilizer (I was only on an AAP) and within 3 days those feelings were gone. That's where I'm coming from when I ask about your Rx situation.

[BastetsMuse]

Originally Posted by Roaming_bird

I tried to post this in another section, but no one there is active.

I'm really struggling right now with some pretty awful depression, and am having some strong thoughts about how to hurt myself. I'm not suicidal or anything, but I feel incredibly alone.

You're not alone; you have us!