Attorney and pdoc

Saw the attorney yesterday. She said it's not time yet for me to need a lawyer as he hasn't even filed. All he has are these "do it yourself" papers that the lawyer basically laughed about. She said since I have been primary care giver, I've never had any attempts, and since I am currently stable that my bipolar will be treated as any other illness. She told me to sign nothing without her prescence.
I double checked with my pdoc today (back to my old one because if cost) and he said it is uncommon for them to supena records and that he would fight it if they did. He also said if they did supena records that my husband would look bad because he has left me the kids primary care taker no matter how sick I was.
My pdoc told me he changed my diagnosis from bipolar to schizoeffective disorder and that he feels as though I should go on disability. My therapist, sister and mom want me to work, if only part time to get me out of the house and keep me sane. I have no idea what to think or if I have the ability to work.

You can get disabilty so there is less stress and volunteer as a why to get out of the house and meet other adults. It's less stressful, you have kids for the stress and stress affects our stability. So I'm with your doctor, get the disabilty and then evaluate the stress level. The two best volunteer jobs where, the public library, and animal shelter....both jobs I didn't have to interact with people much though I was around them. Oh, and when I was a peer advisor for a protection and advocacy under disability rights. I've volunteered many places it build self esteem while not being so stressful as a job.

Don't know you but have kept up with this thread. My heart goes out to you.
I can not imagine trying to tackle a new job even part time with what you're going through. Your babies need you at home now more than ever.
You have been & continue to be in my prayers.

Also in my thoughts and prayers.
I stayed home with my kids when they were little and I think they had a good start because of it. But you know what you can tolerate. I am on disability now and am much happier than trying to work. But once again, you know if you could stay home or not.

Am thinking of you.

As always please be careful taking the advice of that pdoc. Listen to what he says and then discuss it with your therapist and try to figure out what is correct. I would value her opinion about things like work far more than his. And honestly if you can find ANYONE else to treat you I would because it is impossible to know what he is going to say and to whom. A pdoc you know won't screw you with their incompetence is a good idea.

I am glad though that you'll presumably be staying on the meds that are helping right now. That is a good thing.

If your husband is leaving you need to get a job so you can support yourself and your kids.

Yes...I think that is typically the case but having a chronic mental illness affects my ability to work.

Both my therapist and the attorney we are working with have advised me not to look for a job until after the summer because it will effect how much he owes each month.

My attorney says if I get a job I would just be paying for childcare. And, frankly, the kind of jobs I can tolerate without (I imagine) losing it again, won't pay much more than that.

My pdoc says if I file and am approved for ssdi, I will get a check for me and for each of my three children until they are 18. It probably won't be much but we've lived below the poverty level for years now (when my husband finally gets a job that pays, he decides to leave...and he has a bank account without my name on it and I have no clue how much money he is hoarding).

To make all the bills each month and to provide a decent living (even including what he pays me), I will have to make at least $2000 a month. I haven't worked in close to 7 years now so what kind of job can I get making that much (at that, who will hire me)? The reality is, if he follows through with the divorce, I will need substantial help from my parents unless I can find a job paying enough or I get on disability. My parents are considering buying my home and buying out my husband so we can stay in our home. Refinancing would likely give me a lower payment anyway. It stresses me out to the point of tears at least daily. I feel like such a failure. Before I quit my job to stay home, I made $32,000 a year. That isn't a huge income but I could make it work. And, they are hiring. However, I worked in both underwriting and retention and it was SO stressful, and that was even before my break. I don't think I could tolerate it now (not by a long shot)

I have GREAT anxiety at the thought of getting a job outside of my home. I sometimes panic at the very thought. I am praying about it frequently, just as I am praying for everything. It is very hard to watch your life fall apart with your own eyes.

I say try to get ssdi. It'll take a while but you have time since your husband hasn't filed yet. Don't stress about bills as there's help out there for them.

You need one more quarter of work for SSDI, right?

When I was uninsured I was eligible for some form of Medicaid that requires a disability and a job. The caseworker told me that it could be ANY job, just anything I could come up with. Then she pointedly told me about a woman who worked for her church. She said "I know that money goes right back to that church but it's don't ask, don't tell". She was clearly encouraging me to do that and if I'd had any connection I would have. Would your church "hire" you to do something simple for one quarter if you were "donating" the money right back?

I don't think my church would do it. However, I am thinking about applying at Hobby Lobby. It would be low stress retail job that is closed every Sunday.

Another option, as my pdoc said, is to go ahead and get that stressful job (they would likely hire me as I left on great terms) and if I have to quit that it will show all the more reason to be on disability. If I can handle it then I will be better off.

Also, with my husband out of the picture I would qualify for SSI which is lower than SSDI because you aren't paid for your children but still gives me an income.

This is just me but if I just had to get one quarter I'd go with hobby lobby. If I made it through the quarter and was doing ok I'd think about moving on to the more stressful job. But it would really suck to make it halfway though the quarter in the stressful job and then need to stop before the quarter was done. I'd hope that wouldn't happen but it could and it would be really frustrating.

It can be a pretty significant difference though. If you were making $32000 I'd bet your SSDI would be a few hundred dollars more per month than SSI (although you'd have food stamps which might make up the difference).

You can get both

Acknowledging the seriousness of my illness, getting treatment and getting disability were the best things that happened in my life.

Your husband's hidden assets will come out during divorce proceedings and if you're in a joint property state, it's yours too. But that is just another despicable choice he's making. Just keep on taking care of yourself and your children.

Thank you all for your input. Today has been a rough day, especially for my husband as his grandfather passed away. They were very close. His grandpa was a baptist minister and he married us. He was a wonderful man. Hopefully things will look up soon.

That's good - I'd missed that you secured legal counsel.
xo