I told my one [sort-of] friend about what a fiasco taking my dog for grooming had been and she just stared at me. She didn't nod her head to acknowledge what i was telling her or say something benign like, "That's too bad" or anything of that nature.

I've noticed that before. When i tell people about stuff that makes me angry, they just clam up. Just when i need a kind word the most, they go silent. This quasi-friend is borderline too.

Why do people do this? Are they trying to discourage my passion? Are they overwhelmed? Do they think i'm having a huge reaction? Do they think just listening is enough? Does this friend only want to hear about fun stuff, like my mom who used to squash any attempt at talking over problems? Is she just a fair-weather friend?

I mean, it's only humane to make some sort of response when someone confides in you!

Geez, what a huge trigger for me. I did a CBT exercise about it and now i am all riled up thinking what a b&*ch this friend is, what a dipsh)t loser. It's not the first time this has happened to me. It happened with another sort-of friend and i was so stung that time too.

Anyone got any insight?

[MusicLover82]

Maybe your intensity while angry scares people. My husband gets really angry often, and sometimes I just don't say anything because I don't know what to say. Or I tell him I can't handle it and I leave and go for a drive or something. Anger is something that scares me. I get anxiety attacks around angry people. Maybe your friends are that way, too.

I would avoid calling people names like b**** and dish*t loser in your mind, because you are just feeding anger. I bet if you look into your heart you would be able to have compassion for them. People who can't be the type of friend you want them to be may be hurting, too. We are all human and trying our best.

I don't know the whole story, but it sounds like you could probably benefit from some ways to relax and release your anger. Are you getting enough exercise? Are there other ways you can help yourself relax? Do you think you might be manic and need to talk to your doctor?

((HUGS))

Originally Posted by MusicLover82

Maybe your intensity while angry scares people.

Yes, i think this is it. I scare people. But it's not like i'm angry often. It only happens once in a blue moon. But this 'friend' is the leader of our women's support group -- you'd think she'd have some skills in this area. Maybe peer support is just not for me. They can't handle me. I guess i really don't have anyone to talk to except maybe the crisis line as i can't tolerate therapy.

My mood is a little low, actually.

I wish i'd never done that CBT exercise! It just riled me up. The very thing which was supposed to heal my anger, fed it. I give up.

[MusicLover82]

Originally Posted by apfei

Yes, i think this is it. I scare people. But it's not like i'm angry often. It only happens once in a blue moon. But this 'friend' is the leader of our women's support group -- you'd think she'd have some skills in this area. Maybe peer support is just not for me. They can't handle me. I guess i really don't have anyone to talk to except maybe the crisis line as i can't tolerate therapy.

My mood is a little low, actually.

I wish i'd never done that CBT exercise! It just riled me up. The very thing which was supposed to heal my anger, fed it. I give up.

CBT has been making me worse lately, too, rather than making me feel better. My problems are more obsessive thoughts. I am tempted to cancel my next appointment, in fact, because I don't think it has helped.

There! I sent an email to the dog groomer's that i am so angry with asking for a refund. Something constructive.

Sorry to hear CBT is messing you up too, MusicLover82. I think it's so over-rated.

[MusicLover82]

Originally Posted by apfei

There! I sent an email to the dog groomer's that i am so angry with asking for a refund. Something constructive.

Sorry to hear CBT is messing you up too, MusicLover82. I think it's so over-rated.

I think in my case I really just needed a medication change and there was nothing my T could say to help. My pdoc is trying me on Abilify. Today is my second day on it, and so far, so good. We'll see if I continue to feel stable.

Yes, MusicLover82, i guess getting our meds straightened out comes before talk therapy. My other friend swears by Abilify. Good luck with it!