[Jim59]

My bipolar behavior started surfacing at 14 yrs. old. I was a pretty active teenager. Playing team sports in baseball and football. Average to good in school. I was starting to get interested in fishing. My Dad had moved us to a small town from Savannah, Ga. and something about me was not adjusting to the new environment.

I became way too quiet and built an invisible shield to keep just about everybody away. By isolating myself from other kids and my parents becoming involved in a new, very different religion, I opened my mind to all kinds of negative thoughts. This led to a nervous breakdown, hospitalization, and quitting school.

Since then I've been on a depression-mania unpredictable life. I've had many periods of good, stable times, but a depression or manic episode would knock my progress back down. I'm going to describe my behavior and I want to read your's too to maybe relate and understand bipolar disorder better from real experience.

[Anrea]

I think you will enjoy Psych Central very much. People share openly and are supportive.

My own experiences: 1st suicide attempt at 13. Embrace of all things witchcraft and psychic thru teens. diagnosed in my teens. 1st pretty major psychosis at 19. in and out of Dr.s' off an on for years - ignored my diagnosis and married someone who I could count on to control and direct me. This led to severe mental breakdown in 30's. Been married 3 times, 2 unfinished college, 1 unfinished tech school, lived in numerous places, multiple jobs, dozen of firings for behavior. Finally in 40's the lightbulb went off at a particularly bad firing and I was forced to admit how my illnesses have effected my life - and my behavior at not getting treatment and creating a life of havoc only brought on more issues.

I am the most stable I have been ever. I still cannot work, don't have a car. Cannot be depended on to participate in events outside of my house and my husband. But I am learning to like me, and understand my knowledge, outlook and experiences can be beneficial to share with others.

[MusicLover82]

This will be interesting putting my illness into words.

I first developed severe GAD in my early years of college. Then, in my junior year of college, I developed severe OCD which turned into a nervous breakdown. It took a while to find the right psychiatrist and the right diagnosis. I have rapid-cycling Bipolar 2 with OCD and GAD. When I'm really suffering, it tends to be severe OCD or severe anxiety. When they are bad, those are accompanied by depression. I consider that to be the depressive side of bipolar for me. When I'm feeling stable, I often have brief spurts of mild hypomania. The hypomania can sometimes become mixed state which makes me feel a little out of control thoughts-wise. My moods cycle from week to week and month to month (thus why I consider it rapid-cycling). One day I can be hypomanic, the other day I can feel mildly depressed.

I am pretty high-functioning. Nobody can tell what I am going through, which I am grateful for. Being able to work and do what I love for a living means the world to me. I teach private music lessons. I have a great support system. My husband, my parents, my sister, and multiple friends are at my beck and call when I need them. I also have an awesome pdoc. I trust him with my life.

I only had to be hospitalized once and that was due to an allergic reaction and being mistreated by my GP due to the reaction. I took Lamictal for 8 years and suddenly broke out in the dreaded Lamictal rash. My GP was treating my bipolar at the time (BIG mistake) and she didn't give me a replacement mood stabilizer AND put me on a high dose of steroids. Boy, was I manic as h***, and borderline psychotic. I ended up being hospitalized for 3 days, and thankfully my current pdoc got me straightened out from then on (I requested him in the hospital and purposely went to the hospital he works at).

I'm grateful and know my MI could be a lot worse. I struggle often with worries and obsessions. I figure I'm doing okay if I'm not feeling desperate with anxiety and needing to call people all the time to talk about my anxieties. I'm glad that I'm able to function and appear calm in the face of anxiety.

I hope to be able to help others with what I've gone through.

[cincidak]

I'm bipolar 1, agoraphobic, ocd, and gad. It started when I was six to be honest. I've always been ill. My illnesses have progressed over the years becoming worse. I wasn't diagnosed till I was 37. I've had numerous jobs, been let go or fired three times because of behavior. I'm rapid cycling bipolar. In 2013 I was in and out of a crisis ward five times. I've had the same psychiatrist for the last two years. Nine months ago we finally found the right medication combination, and I've been stable for the first time in my life. I can finally focus and think clearly. My obsessions are very mild. I'm not manic, or depressed, and my anxiety is very low. My insurance changed this last month so I had to find a new psychiatrist, and psychologist. I'm a little anxious about seeing them both next week. I know though that if there is not a good rapport , or he tries to change my meds I'll just find a new doctor. I can't go back to being the way I was.

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[LadyShadow]

My story started twelve years ago. In 2004 I was first diagnosed and I fought with suicide and depression over the years. I had many jobs but always a dependency on alcohol as well. I have been on disability for 9 years and I think its a life sentence, I don't think I could handle a job in my current state.

I have no idea what I am going to do with my life or if this is just it for me. I can't depend on my parents forever and I doubt my sister will take care of me. I am at a loss right now, but I hope it gets better. I am 35 now about to turn 36 with no goals and no future. Also I may die alone. I have no husband and no kids and don't think it will ever happen for me.

Originally Posted by LadyShadow

My story started twelve years ago. In 2004 I was first diagnosed and I fought with suicide and depression over the years. I had many jobs but always a dependency on alcohol as well. I have been on disability for 9 years and I think its a life sentence, I don't think I could handle a job in my current state.

I have no idea what I am going to do with my life or if this is just it for me. I can't depend on my parents forever and I doubt my sister will take care of me. I am at a loss right now, but I hope it gets better. I am 35 now about to turn 36 with no goals and no future. Also I may die alone. I have no husband and no kids and don't think it will ever happen for me.

Your situation is basically exactly like mine, except that I am a guy and a few years older. Thanks for sharing.