[1278]

Hey everyone, I disappeared off the forum for a while because I was and still am struggling with a severe depressive episode right now. So after 6 months my 'friends' from medical school decide to contact me to see how I am doing and I am so angry and confused. I wish they would just cut off all contact with me because this "push and pull" thing they are doing is straining me mentally. When I was in hospital in January no one came to see me because they were busy, but now that its the holidays they finally have time for me. I understand it's hard but no one even bothered to call during the 6 months but now when they are free I must be willing to show up. What makes me more angry is that in december I tried to meet them only 1 person showed up. Am I being petty and stupid? I don't know what my real emotions are anymore.

[Victoria'smom]

Your not being petty and stupid.

[Icare dixit]

Don't feel like you have to meet up. Do it only if you're up to it. Mild depression would be the time to re-socialise, I'd say. Any other time, when severely or moderately depressed, even if it's tempting or you feel obliged, I'd suggest you don't. First build confidence by being outside and being around people (without socialising).

I'm glad you decided to return to us . Here you can talk without anyone judging you, so please do.

Have you decided whether you'll continue medical school, when you're ready? I really would if I were you.

Just imagine: no one will be able to say something like "no one here is qualified to diagnose you". Sounds like heaven.

I learned not to expect anything from anyone a long time ago. People will disappoint you and you will disappoint others. Try to be grateful if people want to see you and if they don't, don't take it personal because it probably isn't. We all have so much on our plates in this life. So many of us are just hanging on by a thread. If your friends hurt you, let them know. They might surprise you by being more understanding. Big hugs and I'm sorry you were let down by the people you care about.

[Rjaye]

Sometimes people don't know what to do when stuff like this happens. When I was in the hospital, only one friend came to see me, but she is well acquainted with mental health issues, while my other friends really aren't. Most people, even most docs, are ignorant of mi.

If these are people you want to be friends with, you might have to do a little educating, and letting them know you would like to hear from them and to have their support, even if it's a text or a quick call. Also let them know that there are certain social things you can't do right now, but you're open to something else, something you're more comfortable with.

That was a hard lesson to learn: letting others know what I need, especially when I'm in the thick of it.

[1278]

Originally Posted by Icare dixit

Don't feel like you have to meet up. Do it only if you're up to it. Mild depression would be the time to re-socialise, I'd say. Any other time, when severely or moderately depressed, even if it's tempting or you feel obliged, I'd suggest you don't. First build confidence by being outside and being around people (without socialising).

I'm glad you decided to return to us . Here you can talk without anyone judging you, so please do.

Have you decided whether you'll continue medical school, when you're ready? I really would if I were you.

Just imagine: no one will be able to say something like "no one here is qualified to diagnose you". Sounds like heaven.

I would like to continue medical school but I only have until september to 'get better', then I have to officially deregister. If I want to come back I have to reapply but the chances of getting back in are slim because of change of curriculum so yeah, I'm starting from the bottom, not even zero, negative. Its crazy because I always relied on my intelligence but with all these medications clouding my brain I feel like I have no pros to offer.

[1278]

Originally Posted by Rjaye

Sometimes people don't know what to do when stuff like this happens. When I was in the hospital, only one friend came to see me, but she is well acquainted with mental health issues, while my other friends really aren't. Most people, even most docs, are ignorant of mi.

If these are people you want to be friends with, you might have to do a little educating, and letting them know you would like to hear from them and to have their support, even if it's a text or a quick call. Also let them know that there are certain social things you can't do right now, but you're open to something else, something you're more comfortable with.

That was a hard lesson to learn: letting others know what I need, especially when I'm in the thick of it.

Thank you for this, there was the one particular friend who contacted me after 6 months and didn't visit me in hospital but she was the one that upset me the most because her mum is also bipolar, and she shared her struggles with me before I was even diagnosed as bipolar, years before, I thought she would be more understanding, we even lived together for a year.

[violetgreen]

Definitely not petty or stupid. I think it's ok to leave 'friends' behind, no explanations necessary. I save the difficult and rewarding effort of staying friends with people I trust and have a connection with. Same with family. Maybe your med school friends are worth keeping, but maybe not. You have every right to be angry.