Hypomania

I don't experience hypomania any more. It's mania from the start and it is clearly psychotic rather quickly. It doesn't (even) have to be affective psychosis. Before I had periods of hypomania, I had delusions (and mild hallucinations) as well. But during a period of 7 years or so, I was rather sane.

Does anyone miss hypomania and has experienced a similar "intermediate" stage of BP? Maybe the other way around?

I don't miss it because it always led to pure manic he'll. Plus psychosis after a bit. I'd rather take my antipsychotic meds and be happy and feel relatively normal

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I call what I'm going through hypo-mania because it hasn't turned bad but everyone says I'm very manic. I get delusions right away and tactile hallucinations. If this is is mania I don't get hypo.

I recently went through a bout of hypomania and was unfortunately reminded of how much I've missed it. I hadn't experienced it in over two years. Thankfully it didn't progress to mania, which I DON'T enjoy because I tend to become dysphoric and angry. Thank God the meds stopped it before it got out of control.

I very much miss being hypo. Don't miss bad manias tho....

Now I think about it, I think I had a period of hypomania a few years ago for less than a year, in a way. I probably didn't think about it as such because it turned into a mild mixed state, mild depression and eventually a manic period. That caused depression and eventually a longer, more severe period of mania.

But still it was different because while I slept 4–5 hours a night and I could sleep, I had these very short intense manic mood changes a few times during the day, ecstatic, delusional and everything manic, forced. It felt more like a mixed state. That's not the hypomania I'm talking about.

The difference, to me, is that between being able to and being (or feeling one is) forced to do things that are challenging, interesting or (emotionally) rewarding. Freedom or pressure. Being able to do more or less.

So I might move down a gear after a long, severe period of mania and gear up after a mild depression, so to speak. But not entirely.

I never feel my hypo mania. To me it's a series of good days. But when my mania starts it's like a tsunami. It's comes hard and fast without warning. I wish I would stay hypomanic more than manic. My mania tends to get me in trouble.

I am mixed right now and I miss the pure hypo state I had before this swept in. But as my hypo almost always leads to a mixed episode I kind of don't want it. Mixed is hell.