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#1
May 30, 2016, 08:18 PM
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I'm starting to wonder if I am only hyper religious. My facebook feed likely has people wondering. My closest friends say they can tell when I'm manic just by my facebook posts. No one has called me out on it though. I feel like a healthy vessel for the Lord most of the time but then I have moments when I think I am not in my right mind. I have been seeing things. Today I saw a wicked looking hand reaching out to get me. When I turned my head, nothing was there.
After that happened, I felt unsettled and went to my mom and dad's house. I just watched tv with them which helped. When I left, I came home to an empty house as it was my husband's day with them. I just want to cry because I don't know what to do. I want to seek God, but I don't want to be a maniac either. I want to be cordial with my husband but it hurts so much to do that. I don't know what to do.
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***** Every finger in the room is pointing at me I want to spit in their faces then I get afraid of what that could bring I got a bowling ball in my stomach I got a desert in my mouth Figures that my courage would choose to sell out now Tori Amos ~ Crucify Dx: Schizoaffective Disorder |
 Anonymous41403, Anonymous59125, Anrea, HALLIEBETH87, MusicLover82, Nammu, raspberrytorte, wildflowerchild25
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#2
May 30, 2016, 08:25 PM
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I'm glad to see you're posting and that you are ok.
You sound a little more stable than when you last posted about your religious feelings. Certainly the hand reaching out is an unsettling experience but you seem calmer than before. I can understand it being hard to be cordial with your husband right now. He's hurt you in a very extreme way so that's a natural feeling. How is everything going with the divorce? (Of course I totally understand if you don't want to talk about it) I was thinking about you earlier and was wondering how things are going. I hope you get to feeling better soon.
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Bipolar I Borderline Personality Disorder ADHD Generalized Anxiety Disorder "You," he said, "are a terribly real thing in a terribly false world, and that, I believe, is why you are in so much pain.” ― Emilie Autumn, The Asylum for Wayward Victorian Girls |
 Anrea
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#3
May 30, 2016, 08:35 PM
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My heart goes out to you. Keep doing your best. All the answers will be revealed with time. Focus on the now. (((Hugs)))
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| Anrea
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#4
May 30, 2016, 08:46 PM
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You do sound somewhat better than last time you posted here. My heart goes out to you.
__________________
Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
| Anrea
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#5
May 30, 2016, 09:06 PM
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Thank you for posting.
 We care how you are doing with this life changing transition. I am glad your parents were available.
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#6
May 30, 2016, 09:41 PM
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Thank-you I was worried.
 I wish I had the correct words to say to make everything better. Know I'm thinking of you.
__________________
Dx: Me- SzA Husband- Bipolar 1 Daughter- mood disorder+ Comfortable broken and happy "So I don't know why I'm tongue tied At the wrong time when I need this."- P!nk My blog |
| Anrea
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