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#1
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So both my husband, my best friend and my mom want me to apply for disability. All of them believe that I don't have the capacity to work with my bipolar in conjunction with the effects of fibromyalgia and chronic bowel problems. I'm not sure how I feel about this. Part of me gets angry and is like 'WTF, I am not a broken human being, I can and should get a job and work' and another part of me is terrified to leave my house because I don't know how to handle myself and my physical problems seriously limit me.
Up until the past couple of years I worked 50 hour weeks to support my family, I was the only one who had a job so I had to. Working was hell and both of the jobs I held over a 13 year period (I worked at both places for years and years) I ended up getting fired over missing work for medical problems. I don't know what to do....I feel like I should suck it up and go find a job and just deal with with. But the people closest to me don't think my mind or my body can handle it. It kinda hurts my feelings when they say that. It makes me feel useless. I hate feeling useless. I'm afraid people will look down on me for applying for disability. All of my illnesses are invisible ones, so no one knows I'm sick unless I tell them about my problems....most people just think 'oh you don't look sick' or 'things can't be that bad, you just need to suck it up'. Part of me believes them and they would make me feel like I was taking advantage of the system if I apply for disability. I'm scared to work but I'm also scare of what people would say or think if I apply for disability. Ok...now I'm crying. Sorry for all the posts tonight....have had a really bad day.
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Bipolar I Borderline Personality Disorder ADHD Generalized Anxiety Disorder "You," he said, "are a terribly real thing in a terribly false world, and that, I believe, is why you are in so much pain.” ― Emilie Autumn, The Asylum for Wayward Victorian Girls |
![]() Anonymous59125, Gabyunbound, raspberrytorte
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#2
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I'm on disability and the doctor who assessed me spent 10 mins talking to me and said "your unable to work until at least 2017" this was in 2011 and I have felt judged and isolated and well feeling really crappy about myself. Tbh I'm glad as it's given me time to get my crap together. Saying that I'm unclear as to what job I can hold. I have been applying for jobs but to no avail. I'm still angry I'm on disability but nothing I do makes me get a job.
I would say listen to your Hubby and go on disability just until you feel better. You have physical illnesses too so your dealing with a lot of things right now. Mauve it's time to slow down Sent from my SM-A300FU using Tapatalk |
![]() Anxiousvalkyrie
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![]() Anxiousvalkyrie
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#3
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I have Fibromyalgia and IBS also. Working with that on top of bipolar was not possible for me. My husband and a friend of mine took over the process and just filed for me. I was too sick to participate in the process. I feel grateful I was granted disability and feel it's important for me. I also feel guilty and like I'm viewed as a second class citizen, but I'm really to sick to stress over it to much. I'm always physically sick and nothing I do seems to change that. When I worked, I thought of suicide all day everyday. It was all too much. Now I focus on living as best as I can. I miss working, feeling well and productive. Hitting the pillow at night knowing I worked hard for my money. The pride of having a respectable job. The way people treat you different when you assimilate into society properly. Those things are not in the cards for me right now. It's hard, but being on disability was nessessary for me. Wish it were different. Do what is best for you. If you feel you can work, it will be in your best interest to continue. If you cannot work, listen to your family and understand you deserve disability as much as someone with a visible disability. Good luck on your decision.
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![]() Anxiousvalkyrie
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![]() Anxiousvalkyrie, cincidak
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#4
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I applied for disability a few months ago with a lawyer and now im waiting.
I feel the exact same way as you. But when i look back at the last 6 years at my current employer, i was absent a total of 2.5 years on medical leave. Im not a good employee right now and someone else can do my job better than i can right now and thats not fair to my employer. I will take this time to learn, grow, and figure my way back into the workforce at some point. But not in the near future. Good luck on whichever you decide! Sent from my SM-N920V using Tapatalk |
#5
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I've been on disability for almost two years. I don't tell people about my illness, and if they ask where I work I tell them I am retired. It's none of their business. Don't feel ashamed. You have chronic pain , and mental illness. Not everyone will understand, but those who matter will. I think you should listen to your husband, and then try and take up a hobby. Do something you enjoy. Hope tomorrow brings you a measure of peace.
Sent from my SM-G925V using Tapatalk
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I'm bipolar 1, agoraphobic, ocd, and gad. Fairly happy go lucky. Prozac 20mg Geodon 80mg Saphris 10mg Lamictal 150mg All I can offer is my heartfelt honesty |
![]() Anxiousvalkyrie
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![]() Anxiousvalkyrie
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