[raspberrytorte]

I've been reflecting tonight.

I'm depressed and have started getting paranoid and seeing the expressions of people in pictures changing and contorting. And I'm scared.

I've been seeing things more intensely. Things are more beautiful and everything seems slower. And since things have been more beautiful, I've been wanting to become part of the world around me. Right now I feel trapped in my physical body.

Since when we die our energy is released out into the world around us and we become part of it and will no longer be trapped and suffering and scared, why would you not choose to become part of it? I mean, why? Why would I choose to continue on the way I am when I could choose to be free.

That's a hard one. Hopefully Christina can come in and help. Sorry you're struggling.

[passionfruit3]

It's a nice thought but no one is going to let you do that people are wired to survive they can't understand why someone would want that

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[~Christina]

I know a few people that have felt this way and I also can relate.

But....right now you are needed here in the present and in your body so that you can care for your husband and child

[Ripose]

Since when we die our energy is released out into the world around us and we become part of it and will no longer be trapped and suffering and scared, why would you not choose to become part of it? I mean, why? Why would I choose to continue on the way I am when I could choose to be free.

This is exactly how I think and I always thought I was totally alone in this belief. Although I long for the energy that is me to become part of the universe I also realize that life in it's current form is a gift. A gift that should be lived through despite the suffering that sometimes occurs.

[hopeless2015]

HUGS

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I do understand what you mean.
I felt similarly when I was in a crippling depression. That was the first time I really and truly could understand why people choose suicide.
However- if you believe in energy, which I do, if you choose that route, you aren't becoming from suffering, you are just magnifying it and passing it on to the people you love.
That's enough of a 'why' for me to keep going.
Also, I do believe in karma and reincarnation, and I don't want to come back in even worse shape than I am in already. No matter how bad I have it I know that there are people who have it worse.
I'm sorry you are struggling.

[Daonnachd]

"I'm depressed and have started getting paranoid and seeing the expressions of people in pictures changing and contorting. And I'm scared."

Since others have responded to the latter part of your post, I would like to address the former, quoted here.

This sounds like it could lead into a psychotic episode. Can you contact your treatment team? Have you got some PRN meds for the times you experience paranoia? Take care of yourself.

[pirilin]

Rasps,

You are needed here. Your mission in this side of town isn't over, until The Supreme Force says it is.
The more you can take the mundane, the more spiritual you will become.
Feelings and thoughts can be quelled, or let loose and expect harm.

Being one of the complete and lucky ones, you, better than many, have to take this world's crap for longer. You were built for it. Let the weak and the frail contemplate the easy altenative.
Your transition will be clean. And in due time. Way in the future. When your mission is fully accomplished. Grown grandkids and everything. Carry on. p

[Takeshi]

I don't think I'd do any better as a free energy form, that's convincing enough for me to keep me here. By the time I become fossil fuel, the world would be moving past that point, that ain't good enough.