[cashart10]

So, my parents are going to buy my house if/when my husband and I divorce so that I can still live in it. However, I will have to work.

I found (well actually my t found) a local agency that helps those with disabilities find a job that fits them.

I have met with someone from this agency and, after receiving the documents proving my disability, she is already making my resume and already has a potential job lined up with what I did 7 years ago when I last worked outside of my home. This potential job placement has both part time and full time positions available and has good pay (I will definitely need part time to start).

The trouble is, I am terrified of working! Terrified! Anyone else ever been in a similar position? My pdoc who doesn't think I can handle a job was even excited at the prospect because he said I can get my quarters in and go on SSDI instead of SSI. We shall see. I was fine in a workforce and had a good job before I had my second baby when my husband and I decided I should quit working and stay home with my kiddos. It is only after this that I have gone insane and now I fear that stress will only exasperate my wellness. I need to stay well. Help!

I was in a similar situation many years ago. It took me a few jobs to find the right fit, but once I did, I was fine and I found that work helped stabalize me. I hope you have a similar response. Working part time is best.

Congratulations on finding a job which pays well in this economy. Being on SSDI, rather than SSI is preferable if you can. Hugs and good luck vibes going your way.

[MusicLover82]

Originally Posted by cashart10

So, my parents are going to buy my house if/when my husband and I divorce so that I can still live in it. However, I will have to work.


I found (well actually my t found) a local agency that helps those with disabilities find a job that fits them.


I have met with someone from this agency and, after receiving the documents proving my disability, she is already making my resume and already has a potential job lined up with what I did 7 years ago when I last worked outside of my home. This potential job placement has both part time and full time positions available and has good pay (I will definitely need part time to start).


The trouble is, I am terrified of working! Terrified! Anyone else ever been in a similar position? My pdoc who doesn't think I can handle a job was even excited at the prospect because he said I can get my quarters in and go on SSDI instead of SSI. We shall see. I was fine in a workforce and had a good job before I had my second baby when my husband and I decided I should quit working and stay home with my kiddos. It is only after this that I have gone insane and now I fear that stress will only exasperate my wellness. I need to stay well. Help!

I'll be sending good vibes for the best possible outcome!!!

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[Wander]

Totally understand you are terrified. I was when I went from being on F/T disability to working 20 hours a week. It was amazing how easily I settled in after a few weeks. Getting time off work when unwell also hasn't been a problem. New management and in the middle of at least 6 weeks off so I will see if that grace will continue.

I never have been able to enter the workforce since becoming disabled. My conditions are too severe. I am thinking of you and I'm glad that your T is supporting you.

Just as an aside, my ex has to pay me permanent alimony due to my disability. For the rest of my life. You may want to discuss this with your attorney.

[Unrigged64072835]

Good luck with the new job. I do hope it all works out for you. I would like to work but my conditions prevent me from doing so.

[Anrea]

Your still trying to hold onto that house. If your parents can help you buy that one, they can help you buy a different one. If your husband won't be reasonable about moving out when your parents want to buy the house - you need to fight for it. You can't just wait. Clearly you cannot just wait him out.

Personally, I would get out of the house if you can do that with taking the kids. Get out. That house has his stink of memories all over it. That house will reek of failure for a long time. That is what happens during the first divorce, especially when Religion is involved. You feel like you failed at some life responsibility and it messes you up. That is all over the house. Every room, every furniture. Memories of things you will want to try to forget.

Have you applied for SSDI, cash? Talk to a lawyer. It may be in your best interest. And you can go for permanent disability alimony, too, and depending on your state of residence.

I had a horrible divorce where my ex attempted to portray me as a crazy person and he wanted 90% custody lol

He demanded psych evaluation so I said sure. It was no secret that I'm bipolar lol. His results came out that he was a narcissist- oops! He shot himself in the foot on that one.

We do 50/50 custody and I have disability alimony for life. It only took me three months to get approved for SSDI - it doesn't always take years. Talk to an attorney. Find a mean legal divorce shark that knows what he is doing and will fight for you. If you retain him now your husband can't hire him. lol No need to file now just do a retainer.

Don't let him cajole you into a divorce mediation where you don't have legal counsel. There is just a mediator and the couple seeking divorce.

My ex tried to talk me into that citing how faster and cheaper it would be. Given my fragile mental state during that time, he could have easily taken advantage of me with an unfair settlement.

Sorry for all the unsolicited advice but I think you should get a damn good divorce lawyer on retainer now. Discuss options. xo

I left the house due to abuse and not being safe. It is easier to keep the marital home if you stay in it. Like you all posted, I didn't want the memories and I just really had to flee with the clothes on my back. It was stressful moving around to apartments, in with my stepdad, etc. My ex kept the marital home but it was healthiest for me to leave it.

[hounddog75]

I used to be a software developer. I am on disability for the rest of my life. I have not worked in two years. The thought of working frightens me too, so I know where you are coming from. I think if you can work some part time job, and ease into it slowly, I think you will find things will go a little better for you. Now if I Can just convince myself of the same thing...