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  #1  
Old Jul 17, 2016, 06:04 AM
Anonymous35014
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Do you have any stigma stories? I'm just curious how people have treated you because of your bipolar disorder.

_____________

Here's mine:

I've never told my family that I have bipolar disorder. I chose not to tell them because they constantly make derogatory remarks about people who have the disorder.

To be brief, they think that anyone with bipolar disorder "should be locked away in a mental ward and never let out".

They actually told my sister about 5 years ago that she wasn't allowed to hang out with her friend anymore "because her mom is bipolar and therefore a complete lunatic". They thought that her mother was totally unpredictable (i.e., her mood could change any minute) and that she might "kill" or "gravely injure" my sister, which is obviously a load of BS and a completely irrational thought.

I'm actually the only one in my family who has the disorder. I'm not sure if my maternal grandfather had it or not. He left my mom when she was two, so we don't know much about him.
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  #2  
Old Jul 17, 2016, 06:55 AM
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Wander Wander is offline
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For me I haven't experienced any overt stigma but I have found people running and hiding from me once they find out I have BP. They don't come out and say it is because of BP but it is clear they reacted to it. 'Friends' have done this many times. It hurts and leaves me very lonely.

People at work know I have a mental illness (word gets round) and a few have treated me very differently since. Like the other day I was frustrated with the workload and machinery breaking so I said. "It is a **** of a day" and my colleague said 'cheer up. Don't be so negative.' in a really patronising way. She is much colder with me now.

Some people just cannot handle mental illness at all. They need to push it away, ridicule it and those with it, and generally be judgemental just to cope with the thought of it. To them anyone who has it is to be treated with distain and caution. It is sad. I am so sorry you have a family that is so harsh about mental illness. It must be so tough for you.
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  #3  
Old Jul 17, 2016, 07:44 AM
Anonymous32451
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" are you controled by demons, or are you controled by satan?"

" so, you can't make choices for yourself, then?. you should be locked up"

"it must be great having BP, how can i get it too?"

"so i suppose you're life will always be screwed"

etc etc etc

plus the many people who just walk away, because " i can't handle your issues, it's too much"
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  #4  
Old Jul 17, 2016, 08:03 AM
BastetsMuse BastetsMuse is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bluebicycle View Post
Do you have any stigma stories? I'm just curious how people have treated you because of your bipolar disorder.
I believe my first marriage went into the toilet because of my diagnosis... my ex-husband really didn't take me seriously after I was diagnosed, and I never could figure out why, so I think he had a superiority complex about not being mentally ill... even though he had issues he needed to address, it wasn't official (so it didn't exist, right?). After ten years of trying to make my marriage work, I walked away from it and am so much happier with hubby #2, who accepts me as I am, diagnosis and all.
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  #5  
Old Jul 17, 2016, 08:04 AM
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Wander Wander is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by shattered sanity View Post
" are you controled by demons, or are you controled by satan?"
Thanks for reminding me Shattered Sanity: When I was a christian the churches I went to treated mental illness as demonic possession. This stigma led to me being 'treated' with many, many sessions of deliverance ministry in which I had to make confessions of sin, repent and forgive those who hurt me. Then the 'demons' were cast out.

If I didn't get better after the session I was blamed as God is perfect and would have healed me if it was not for my sin. So I had to look for what I did wrong that week and go through the deliverance ministry all over again the following fortnight.

This went on for 5 years and drove me more and more unwell. It was a form of abuse due to the stigma of how mental illness was seen in these particular churches. This nearly destroyed me and cause untold damage to my marriage and other relationships.
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  #6  
Old Jul 17, 2016, 08:10 AM
Anonymous32451
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my parents were the worst... when they found out i was bipolar, they hit the roof- and told me in no uncertain terms to just.. get out of their lives forever

"mental and physical illness.. none of that crap exists" that's what they used to say

i suppose that was a blessing... even before my bipolar diagnoses i was treated badly by them- this just gave them a reason to leave me alone for good
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  #7  
Old Jul 17, 2016, 08:14 AM
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i was once rejected for a contest, because of my illness.

yeah they said... you're mannic, you may not want to enter in a couple of days- sorry, we can't accept your entry

blah.. and the prize was pretty deecent
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  #8  
Old Jul 17, 2016, 08:16 AM
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times where you're feeling stable and you're asked- do you want something?. and you say, no. (because you actually don't want it, you are thinking clearly), well... we'll keep it just in case you change your mind

um hello. i'm not going too. i'm stable
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  #9  
Old Jul 17, 2016, 08:24 AM
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Wild Coyote Wild Coyote is offline
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The stigma is so unfair. So irrational. So very uneducated.
My heart goes out to ALL.

My husband had a rather extreme seemingly sudden delusional episode which brought about treatment and diagnosis. BP-2. He had been being treated for MDD. He took a few weeks off of work. We had worked hard to keep him out of the hospital and were able to get him stabilized at home. We shared only with his parents and brother, people we knew would fully protect him.
He has been so very stable on Lamictal and clonazepam, for years now. He has learned to manage his stress. People, in general, have no idea.

I was diagnosed years later. BP-2 My husband knows. He is the only one knowing. I was already disabled with severe chronic pain, autoimmune illnesses.

My family is not supportive. In fact, they are quite destructive. Many undiagnosed personality disorders within my family, etc. They have little insight into themselves. They think all people with a diagnosis and/or undergoing treatment are violent, irresponsible, dangerous, erratic, less than human. They show little to no compassion, only fear (because fear dominates within for them). Whatever is projected outward onto others is much more about what is held within.

I have always been a strong advocate for people living with mental illness, ever since I was a teen. I think its because I saw so much of it in my family, loved them, and remained hopeful for healing for all.

I am saddened stigma remains in 2016. However, I do see tremendous progress over the past 30-35 years! I remain hopeful.

I am so glad I can share openly here!


WC
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  #10  
Old Jul 17, 2016, 10:00 AM
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bizi bizi is offline
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There is so much stigma....
I try to open with my friends but one group...that I have lunch with....
one of the members forgets that I am bipolar. and they will make some sort of comment about someone and anger issues....then I must remind him that I am BP and that I have never had anger issues. I am quite stable, never seem out of sorts to them. I have a few friends that I can share with. My family knows and they have helped me before....really don't want to hear about some bad behavior from my part because I was manic. They don't want to hear me blame my illness for bad behavior. So what would they rather think that I am just evil????
geesh
bizi
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  #11  
Old Jul 17, 2016, 10:27 AM
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I get: "You don't seem Bipolar. I thought Bipolar was when people get extremely angry one moment, then really happy the next moment."

Lately most people I encounter falsely believe that most people who are Bipolar treat others like crap then go back to being "nice" in a matter of hours or minutes. It's upsetting to me that this stereotype is everywhere. People throw around the term Bipolar so freely and often do not know what mania even is. The people who do not know I have Bipolar sometimes talk about people who are "crazy and Bipolar" without knowing that I've been diagnosed, and I really don't like when that happens.
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  #12  
Old Jul 17, 2016, 02:59 PM
beigeish beigeish is offline
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My diagnosis is 2 months new. I haven't told anyone except my husband because I'm afraid of the stigma associated with it. My family knows I've struggled with depression for most of my life & I haven't gotten a lot of support for that so I'm afraid of the stigma and how I would react to their continued lack of support with a new diagnosis. I wish I had a bigger support network though. I've lost a lot of friends because I haven't wanted to leave the house. It sounds silly, but answering questions like "How are you?" or "What's new?" dismissively seems like a lie. So I feel like I'm in a bit of a predicament in that regard.

Who needs friends & family, right?
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  #13  
Old Jul 17, 2016, 03:17 PM
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JustJace2u JustJace2u is offline
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I haven't experienced it yet myself, thankfully. Then again, I haven't told but maybe a handful of people. My parents and brother don't even know about it because I know they would all just try to deny that I have this illness. My mom chalks it up to just depression, which yes, it mostly is...but you never know when my mood will change and how it will change. She hasn't seen me go off on these tirades that happen from time to time, without much warning. Anyway, for those of you that have experienced the stigma...I'm sorry people are so cruel.
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  #14  
Old Jul 17, 2016, 04:44 PM
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wildflowerchild25 wildflowerchild25 is offline
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I went to go get my wisdom teeth out in 2013. I wrote down that I was bipolar even though I hadn't seen the psychiatrist yet because I had an appt coming up and knew that's what they were going to dx me with as that had been my previous dx. I told them because by the time of my dental appt I was probably going to be on medication. I wasn't on medication yet though, and as soon as the oral surgeon found out I wasn't medicated he refused to treat me. he said the anesthesia could cause me to become erratic and he wouldn't treat me unless I had a note from my psychiatrist saying it was ok or I was on medication. I was shocked and couldn't believe I he wouldn't treat me. It caused me to delay getting my wisdom teeth out for two more years because I was afraid of the same reaction.

In that same summer I disclosed to my summer boss (at a day camp) because I was in a deep depression and wanted to explain why I was acting so down at work. I had worked for him for five Summers with no incident; indeed, I had even won employee of the week four out of five of those years. And yet when it came time to be hired for the next summer I was not hired back. And he didn't tell me he wasn't hiring me back, he just never sent out an invitation for me. I figured it out on my own when I realized I should have gotten my invitation months ago.
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  #15  
Old Jul 20, 2016, 11:20 AM
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notthisagain notthisagain is offline
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If I hear one more person citicize me for taking my meds or tell me that doctors are just drug-pushers I am going to scream. I am exhausted from trying to educate people. Psychiatric meds don't get you high. The brain can become unwell just like any other organ in the body. There is a difference between bipolar and normal situational fluctuations in mood, so no, everyone is NOT a little bit bipolar. Sometimes I need help with things and it doesn't make me lazy. It's not because I don't have God in my life. I guess people mean well, but when I try to talk to them and need support, I just walk away feeling worse.
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  #16  
Old Jul 20, 2016, 12:16 PM
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1. People avoid me who were once friends.
2. I get asked constantly if im being med compliant. (Yes! I am!)

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  #17  
Old Jul 20, 2016, 01:20 PM
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My grandmothers both have bipolar. I told my parents about a month after my diagnosis; I was diagnosed a while after my first psych visit at a triage where I went in because I was suicidal. They are very religious and were convinced I didn't "love God enough" or "talk to God enough" and that seeing a therapist was ok but was unnecessary and that medication is a scam and that I didn't need it. They also accused me of having a conviction crisis about being lgbt... Which had no bearing on the situation and I hadn't come out to them yet anyway, it was speculation. They told me I could either meet with a pastor or go inpatient. I was terrified of going inpatient. My autonomy is very important to me. They set up a meeting between me and their church pastor. I went because I was too out of it to coherently protest. I got a well-meaning lecture about how I am blessed and this long list of things I shouldn't worry about and I should appreciate unrelated to how I was feeling. My dad threw a pity party about how it's his fault I'm like this because he always blames himself for everything. I've not been comfortable in a church since.

My family hasn't discussed it with me since.
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  #18  
Old Jul 20, 2016, 01:23 PM
letsgogh letsgogh is offline
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I'm off medication right now, but it's due to side effects and cost, not my family's dumb opinions.

I also experienced my psychiatrist giving me no say in meds or decisions regarding my health. I think that's the most helpless I've ever felt in my life. She apologized over email when I cancelled my future appointment with her, but I stopped seeing her anyway.
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"Human history is not the battle of good struggling to overcome evil. It is a battle fought by a great evil, struggling to crush a small kernel of human kindness."
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  #19  
Old Jul 20, 2016, 01:37 PM
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notthisagain notthisagain is offline
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Letsgogh I am really sorry that your parents are not being supportive. I have had people say those things to me and it's maddening.
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  #20  
Old Jul 20, 2016, 01:55 PM
letsgogh letsgogh is offline
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Thanks. It really drives me bananas.
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"Human history is not the battle of good struggling to overcome evil. It is a battle fought by a great evil, struggling to crush a small kernel of human kindness."
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  #21  
Old Jul 20, 2016, 03:24 PM
Anonymous41403
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Yes I have many. My oldest sister found out around thanksgivng that had had bp, she is treating me differently. But I don't really care. I mean it kinda hurts but we were never close.

I was dating this guy a couple summers ago. Still at the beginning of dating. But he Starts talking about a family member who has bpd and how she's always threatening to kill herself. He was like, I can't stand her I wish she would go through with it. I then went on to say that's really cold she has bpd. He's like, not my problem. I stupidly, bc I was so angry told him I have bp disorder. He's like so your crazy. I hung up on him. We never talked again.

I've met a couple ppl I've become friends with and when they learn I have bp they treat me differently. So from now on I'm waiting until I know ppl really, really well.
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  #22  
Old Jul 22, 2016, 01:18 PM
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I am so frustrated by people who think that, if an illness or a disability isn't visible to them, then it isn't real, no matter how many times you try to explain it to them. I get people (the same people that criticize me for taking meds and going to therapy) say "I think that there is something wrong with me, too", but they won't do anything about it. Like they minimize the impact that BP truly has on one's life. I don't know if in some weird way they are trying to be helpful, but they aren't. Then if someone does something and I get angry as a result, they just blame it on the BP instead of maybe taking responsbility for the things that they do or say and how it affects other people. I am not sure if I am explaining this correctly, but only does it not help, it hurts.
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  #23  
Old Jul 22, 2016, 01:38 PM
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Secretum Secretum is offline
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My junior year of college, I finally found the right combo of meds that helped me get out a a severe depression I had been in for years. I was so in love with life that I got behind with the homework in one of my classes. The professor called me out on it, and I apologized and explained that I had bipolar disorder and ADHD and that I was finally feeling better, and thus distracted, and I promised him that I would catch up. I did catch up, and I got As on all the exams. I still got a C in the class, however, because he gave me such a low grade on the final project. He was also really nasty to me, made me cry more than once. That was the most severe episode of discrimination that I've experienced. It sucked.
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  #24  
Old Jul 26, 2016, 03:08 AM
Coffeee Coffeee is offline
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I lost some friends when I was diagnosed, close ones that I told due to stigma. I keep it under wraps for the most part now.
  #25  
Old Jul 26, 2016, 03:57 AM
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Raindropvampire Raindropvampire is offline
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I had a co-worker talk to me about her abusive husband because he's bipolar and I'm bipolar so I'd understand how he couldn't help himself and wouldn't judge him.

My cousin telling me I just need to accept jesus because all mental illness is demonic possession. Then my other cousin asking if she could catch the bipolar from me. I had to assure her it is not contagious.
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