I f***ed up at work. I was so unstable between my mania and depression lately that I haven't been doing a good job at work. Now my new boss and old boss hate me. It sucks.

They said they asked my team members what I've been doing, and apparently they're assholes and said they didn't know what I was doing!

I also stupidly FORGOT to write everything down that I'd been doing this past quarter, so when I sent my boss a word document describing what I did, it was technically incomplete because I missed a million things, but I didn't realize it until he was like, "so... What DID you do?"

It's too late now because I don't get a bonus this quarter. My bosses were like, "yeah, you should be more mindful of these things because we would have given you a bonus." F*** me.

It's a real kick in the ***, but I suppose it made me wake up and realize I need to really push my pdoc to help me become stable. I'm also going to start writing up my report as I go. Then I don't have to try to recall what I did or didn't do.

Damn this sucks!

I'm sure some of you can relate

[Wild Coyote]

(((((( BLUE ))))))

You are very worthy!

Bummer, Blue.
An oversight.

Yes, maybe get in touch with pdoc?
Isn't your trip coming up soon?


WC

[raspberrytorte]

Don't worry, blue. We all **** up once in awhile. It'll be okay. hugs

[JustJace2u]

I'm sorry my friend. I have honestly had to start carrying a life planner so I won't forget important things such as that.

[hopeless2015]

I'm sure you do good work, don't worry, this will pass. We are all human and can't help mistakes once in a while. HUGS

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G930A using Tapatalk

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

(((((( BLUE ))))))

You are very worthy!

Bummer, Blue.
An oversight.

Yes, maybe get in touch with pdoc?
Isn't your trip coming up soon?


WC

I already called him, but he's out on vacation until July 26th, which is the day I leave for my trip. He has someone covering for him, but it's too complicated to see a new doctor and explain everything all over again.

Originally Posted by raspberrytorte

Don't worry, blue. We all **** up once in awhile. It'll be okay. hugs

Yeah. It just sucks because I screwed myself out of $1200

Originally Posted by JustJace2u

I'm sorry my friend. I have honestly had to start carrying a life planner so I won't forget important things such as that.

I'm so bad with planners. I wish I could use one of those things, but I always lose them! I've tried using my phone for making notes and stuff, but every time I use my phone, I get distracted and start playing games. Not that it's a good excuse, but I have the attention span of a squirrel. (I've got to work on that...)

Originally Posted by hopeless2015

I'm sure you do good work, don't worry, this will pass. We are all human and can't help mistakes once in a while. HUGS

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G930A using Tapatalk

The problem is that everyone on my team is like 30-35. They've all been working for a while, so they're more advanced than me. It makes me feel like s*** that I'm not as good as them. It's like, the team lead asks them to do something... they can do it in 1 day, but I need 1 week. It makes me feel so dumb and worthless, to be honest.. even though I'm roughly 10 years younger than all of them and have less experience.

I guess I'm frustrated because they don't like when I take a week to do something. I just don't know how to do anything they give me, so it's a steep learning curve for me. I have to spend time learning how to do things.

[pirilin]

Originally Posted by bluebicycle

I'm so bad with planners. I wish I could use one of those things, but I always lose them! I've tried using my phone for making notes and stuff, but every time I use my phone, I get distracted and start playing games. Not that it's a good excuse, but I have the attention span of a squirrel. (I've got to work on that...)


The problem is that everyone on my team is like 30-35. They've all been working for a while, so they're more advanced than me. It makes me feel like s*** that I'm not as good as them. It's like, the team lead asks them to do something... they can do it in 1 day, but I need 1 week. It makes me feel so dumb and worthless, to be honest.. even though I'm roughly 10 years younger than all of them and have less experience.

I guess I'm frustrated because they don't like when I take a week to do something. I just don't know how to do anything they give me, so it's a steep learning curve for me. I have to spend time learning how to do things.

Working is a very bad thing. That's why they pay you for it.
Everything good U hafta pay for it.

When I would mess up at work, it would make me feel so terrible about myself. Sometimes I would get defensive about it, and other times I would just sink into a pit of self hatred and despair. You sound like you are accepting responsibility, not defensive and are using this as a growing experience. All very mature! I respect and admire your ability to see your error and take precautions not to repeat it. I'm sorry you feel so bad.... Be sure not to beat yourself up and keep things in perspective (which it sounds like you are doing). (((Hugs)))

Originally Posted by ElsaMars

When I would mess up at work, it would make me feel so terrible about myself. Sometimes I would get defensive about it, and other times I would just sink into a pit of self hatred and despair. You sound like you are accepting responsibility, not defensive and are using this as a growing experience. All very mature! I respect and admire your ability to see your error and take precautions not to repeat it. I'm sorry you feel so bad.... Be sure not to beat yourself up and keep things in perspective (which it sounds like you are doing). (((Hugs)))

Yeah, I accept responsibility, although it would have been nice if my boss at least talked to me about my performance before he decided on bonuses. I mean, he was so impressed with me that he gave me $1200 last quarter. He was like, "wow, you are amazing!" So, how does someone suddenly go from "amazing" to "bad" overnight? Wouldnt you, as a manager, suspect something was off?

idk. Just my 2 cents.

I mean, I do accept responsibility because it is 100% my fault, but I think he's a poor manager for not investigating what went wrong. (If he did, then he'd realize that I under reported my work.)

I hear what you are saying. It would have been nice if your boss would have said "hey, what's going on" or talked to you in some way before making such an important decision on your worth. That is what a good boss would do.

I took an interpersonal relations and communications course in college years ago and it had some management training. It suggested that if an employee is not doing what they usually or previously have done, that you talk to them about it. You are even suppose to ask "is there anything the company can do to support you". It doesn't sound like your boss did this unfortunately. Maybe they need more management training . I'm sorry this happened and that you lost so much money.

[fishin fool]

Your team members not backing you is no surprise, it took me a long time
to realize that there are no friends at work.
I am sorry you are going through this.
If you feel that you messed up, just remember everyone does from time to time.
I know I sure do. You are in good company bb.
I hope you get everything sorted out.

[Wild Coyote]

I think I would have asked you how much time you'd need to get a list together to present to me and we would have found a way to afford you more participation. A raise of all or nothing seems a bit extreme. We are all human and make some mistakes.

It does seem extreme, from one review/raise to another.

My husband keeps a simple notebook of accomplishments for his evaluations, so he remembers what he did.

(((((( Blue )))))))


WC

[Bipolarchic14]

Originally Posted by bluebicycle

I already called him, but he's out on vacation until July 26th, which is the day I leave for my trip. He has someone covering for him, but it's too complicated to see a new doctor and explain everything all over again.


Yeah. It just sucks because I screwed myself out of $1200

Write it in letter form and give it to them. That will give you time to revise and add things you need to describe to the new doc.

[RomanJames2014]

I understand what your going through. I used to be a manager for target and there were depressed times where I didn't want to do anything and then there were manic times where I laughed and joked about everything and got a lot done and remerchandising department and my team members thought I was crazy. My boss's never said anything but unheard them talking about how they thought something was wrong with me or that I was mentally handicapped.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Originally Posted by RomanJames2014

I understand what your going through. I used to be a manager for target and there were depressed times where I didn't want to do anything and then there were manic times where I laughed and joked about everything and got a lot done and remerchandising department and my team members thought I was crazy. My boss's never said anything but unheard them talking about how they thought something was wrong with me or that I was mentally handicapped.

At my old job, I had 2 bosses -- one which was technical and oversaw our projects, and the other which was more of a people manager.

Both of my bosses kept talking to each other about what was "wrong" with me. I overheard it. Then my technical boss came up to me and asked me, "Why aren't you sleeping? Do you have insomnia or something?" Later on, she asked, "Why do you have so much energy and so little sleep? You seem hyper."

Afterwards, I overheard them say that I had "issues". That irritated me.