[aussiekiwiguy]

I am 27 years old and for the most part of the last decade I have been swinging between moderate "hypomania" and moderate "depression". In 2013 I became fully manic for the first time and then transitioned into psychosis. It was then that I was actually diagnosed and put on 20mg of Zyprexa (Olanzapine) (later reduced to 10mg) and I spent two and a half years struggling to live as a braindead zombie with occasional suicidal ideation and no ability to feel pleasure or relate to anyone or anything.

Six months ago I got so angry I threw my medication away. I was pissed off with having no personality I didn't bother to cut down slowly. I had had enough. I didn't tell my doctor who I would see every month. The first thing that happened was weight loss. Shortly after that my personality began to emerge again.

Perhaps a month ago I returned to "normal" (what I remember as normal for me) and started making a lot of goals, going out every day to see people, talking on the phone a lot, listening to music and it feeling euphoric, I felt more attractive, became more *****y, began sleeping 4-6 hours a night, writing articles and submitting them to the New Zealand online newspaper, adding and reconnecting with old friends on Facebook, updating Facebook every couple of hours, taking new selfies, joined a gym, started drinking alcohol again, had sex for the first time in 3 years, moved out of home to a backpackers surrounded by 100 people at any one time, spent $2500 of my savings (half), went for a job interview then turned down the job, and set up a blog called "Hypomanic ramblings" for people to read.

A week ago I had a day where I felt too elevated so I told my doctor and psychologist exactly what I have said above. He immediately told me that I was hypomanic and I waited for a few minutes as he called my case manager/social worker into the meeting. This was the first time I had an appointment with all three of them at once. They suggested that I go to a recovery house (respite) for a week to 1) get my sleep in check to prevent mania and 2) get back on a different medication than Olanzapine to control my mood. I agreed to this.

Within 2 hours I was driven half an hour away to a beautiful house. I do not have to pay to stay here. They have WiFi. I brought my Macbook and iPhone 6s plus a hard drive with 6000 tv episodes. I am now taking Quetiapine and lithium. The first night I slept 12 hours as Quetiapine is a sedative. The second night I slept 6 hours. The third night I slept 8 hours. Last night I slept 4 hours.

Even though the Quetiapine and lithium have slowed me down somewhat, I still feel "hypomanic," in that I am not really trying to change my sleeping habits. As soon as I wake up I log on to Facebook or reddit and just read a lot. I have no interest in sleep if i'm not tired. I don't have the urge to go out and get really drunk or see a lot of people but I am very social on social media and I can't stop listening to music. I am not spending money right now.

I am kinda happy to stay on lithium and Quetiapine and feel slightly hypomanic if I can. I'm just wondering how important it is that I get 8 hours of sleep a night? I refuse to take Olanzapine again as it made my weight increase 25% and I have lost 20% of that. I would rather be manic than fat, to be honest. And olanzapine made me borderline suicidal so it really isn't a great idea in the long term.

I enjoy being Bipolar most of the time. I have done some awesome and awful things while hypomanic and manic but it has been an unstable life and I am single and have a chequered job history because of it. So I don't know if I would rather be medicated to the point of slight depression and low mood to avoid the highs. Thanks for reading.

[Coffeee]

As far as getting 8 hours of sleep I think it's very important to bipolar folks, but impossible to get while hypo manic. I'd be happy with 5-6 while hypo. Thanks for sharing your story and I hope things go well for you!

[Pastel Kitten]

I sometimes miss my hypomania! I got so much done! It's good you're able to pick out the positives of being Bipolar. But yes, do make sure you get some sleep!

[Gabyunbound]

Thanks so much for sharing your story.

It sounds like you've been sleeping well until last night, so given the 4 hours of sleep I'd keep an eye on it. If it continues, maybe your pdoc could increase the Seroquel.

As for hypo/mania, as you say, it has its pros and cons. Coming off of such a high, it might be harder to see the cons, but you mention your job history and maybe that's a good starting point in your decision to take and stay on medication, even if, unfortunately, you have to deal with low levels of depression (though this isn't a given and your pdoc may well be able to help you with that). It's good you're off Zyprexa, which is another good starting point to a new era in your life.

Best of luck to you!

Thanks for sharing your story.

I can also relate. I like being hypomanic. Re. the music: When I am hypomanic I listen to music constantly. It is as if the meaning of the lyrics and composition are crystal clear?! When I am 'normal' the music doesn't have the same effect at all. Just my experience

Good questions. My new pdoc thinks I have been (mildly) hypomanic for months. I don't agree. I've been ALIVE, for g'd''s sake. My music playing and performing have been spectacular. I told him I absolutely will not tolerate any med that takes this away. I'm hoping to get back to my music today -- anyway I am playing with a friend this afternoon, and that will be good. As for hypnotic: I'm glad you introduced that word. What is hypnotic for me is another form of hypomania. I feel I MUST FINISH AND ACCOMPLISH SOLUTIONS to problems. Mainly if some dumb electronic glitch happens. I force, force, force a solution, even if (to anyone else, I guess) the solution must be postponed or never solved. Example: Last night I was trying to watch a DVD. I've lost some hearing, and could not hear the dialogue. I tried to get the subtitles. The "Subtitles" button my DVD remote did not work. I tried "Settings/Subtitles" and that didn't work either. On several occasions for 2 days I tried to get the subtitles, calling Netflix (DVD dept closed early and closed on Sundays, which enraged me), and then the 24/7 number of the DVD player maker. Finally, this wonderful customer svc woman actually KNEW WHAT WAS WRONG!!!!! She said that some DVDs do not have subtitle capability, which is why on some DVDs the Subtitle button works, and on others, it doesn't. I am so grateful to her because then I could stop being angry about it and realize that I just had to not watch that particular DVD. (I am trying to get it free on the computer, through, but probably it would be hard to hear there, too, even if it is available. YouTube has withdrawn many or maybe all full lenghth movies.) Anyway, thanks for this thread idea. Hope you figure out what works for you about the hypnotic effect of hypom.

[vjdragonfly]

I was hypomanic a few weeks ago, it was the best thing ever. I was happy, I could accomplish things, I actually wanted to get out and visit my family, I felt like life was worth living. I wasn't making bad choices and no harm come from it. My family was happy to see me this way and even wished it could become the norm for me. Stable is just not good enough.