Baby on the Way!?!?

Thanks everyone for the words of encouragement!

Our baby is due in early October, and I growing concerned about how it all will affect me and/or how I will be able to cope with the stresses of being a new parent.

Biggest concerns:

-Lack of Sleep
-Baby crying all the time
-Constant worry about baby's well being

Looking for insights from other parents with bp and how you managed. Any help you all could provide would be greatly appreciated.

P.S. What's the chances of me passing the disorder on to my child??

I wasn't symptomatic when I had my son. Which was good because it was very difficult. He was colicky and cried all the time and rarely slept. I don't really have any advice except just roll with it. Expect things to be difficult for awhile. And make sure you help your wife! My husband was too afraid of ****ing up the first couple of months and left everything to me. We had a huge fight about it which is when he told me his fears. Don't be afraid! You're not going to break your baby. Just do the best you can.

As for worrying about the baby, well, that just comes with the territory. If it gets really bad you can try cbt to help with the anxious thoughts.

Also, try not to worry about passing on BP to your child. There's nothing you can do about it. It will either happen or it won't, and at least if it does happen you have experience and know how to help.

Congratulations and good luck to you!

cat naps when you can.

Congrats to you!! I have a question for you though. Are you currently on meds and if so, do you plan on being on them throughout the pregnancy?? I really want to know others insight on this as I'm thinking about my future kids. If I were to get preg now, I would have to stay on my meds because lately I've been doing bad things if I don't have my meds.

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With one parent with BP there's a 27% chance of your baby having BP too. It goes up to 74% if both parents have it. That's from E. Fuller Torrey M.D., Surviving Schizophrenia 5th ed. 2006.

Just try and balance taking care of the baby and wife with taking care of yourself. It's going to be tough the first month or so, but once the baby sleeps through the night it will be worth it. Get sleep in when you can, while the baby's asleep.

Congratulations and good luck!

Funny thing about children is they really keep you going. Ironically, my longest period of normal mood was when I was pregnant with my son plus the first couple years of his life. Like others have said, try to get as much rest as possible. Use the baby's naps as a time to cat nap, or to unwind and take care of yourself.

If your spouse is not bipolar, then your child has about a 25% chance of being bipolar. I wouldn't worry about it unless you come to that bridge. And if it does happen, you'll have the incite to handle it.

Congratulations on the baby!

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Just wanted to say congrats and best wishes!! You'll do just fine!

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Great advice from our friends!

We'll be here for you if the going gets rough.

Congratulations!
Enjoy!


WC

I'm the daddy, so I dont think I can answer that question how you're asking it, but yes im on meds and plan to stay on them

Lol oh ok sorry.

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No advice but congratulations!

Congratulations!
One of the most important things is to keep in touch with your needs. It's easy to give up on oneself in favour of baby. Ask for help if needed. Share duties with your partner. Give yourself breaks when needed, e.g. go for a walk if you cannot tolerate the crying anymore.

I had such an easy baby even though she was a c-section. She slept through the night from the time she came home from the hospital. La ter on when she started eating cereal (ASAP) I fed her right before I went to bed making sure she slept all night. No colic or anything do had it really easy. At 6 months, had her out backpacking in the sierras with us on long weekends. I promised myself that my life wasn't going to change because of a baby but she was going to be a complete part of the family. Lol she started down hill skiing at 2 1/2 years old & by 5 was doing intermediate slopes in Jackson Hole. It's really fun to watch how quickly they learn & enjoy being part of family activities....I'm sure you will have a hunting partner girl or boy.

I used one of the Baby Bjorn carriers that hold the baby against the chest for both my boys. They loved it and would snooze the whole time I had them. (I carried them that way from the time I got home from teaching, to the time I went to bed.) This allowed me to snooze in a chair if I needed it, but it also kept them very happy. At night I naturally became a light sleeper. Consequently, I would hop out of bed to get the baby, if he cried, and take him to nurse in our bed. This avoided him getting worked up into a serious cry. I believe that being an attentive parent will go a long way toward making the transition an easy one.

Congratulations.

Congrats! With my third (and last pregnacy), I had to take meds. The kept me alive and obviously the alternative was far more severe than the drugs. I now have a happy almost 3 year old. I agree with other posters that sleeping when baby sleeps is imperative. And, trust your maternal instincts and remember that everyone has an opinion and you cannot please all of them.

Good luck to you! Please keep us posted!

or in Manicminer's case, HIS paternal instincts......still important

Had a "baby basics" course this week and feel a bit more at ease.

Learned about and watched a DVD on the period of PURPLE crying and was relieved to learn its ok to lay baby down in a safe place and just walk away to regroup.

I know I can do it and hope I'm just getting worked up over nothing. Thanks for the support.

Yes you can do it.!!
When you have a baby you fall in love in a way you didn't think was possible.
You can tolerate A LOT when it's yours.
You guys will be fine my friend.

If you're at all easily overstimulated, I would suggest getting some foam earplugs. If the baby is really worked up and screaming, having that right in your eardrum while you're trying to soothe him/her can be incredibly stressful. Taking the edge off the scream can help you to be calmer, which will help baby calm more easily. It can mute the extremes of the screaming.

Otherwise, taking turns at night with your wife to tend to the baby will help you both sleep better. Finding something that baby likes and feels soothed by early on is a big help. For our daughter, she LOVED being tightly swaddled (MASTER THIS!) and after a few months, sucking on her thumb (we still swaddled the other arm & her legs). For my son, he loved the pacifiers - he would go to sleep with one in his mouth, one in each hand, and then we would sprinkle a few around the crib so that we could easily find one in the middle of the night if needed or, as he got older and started moving around his crib, he could easily find one.

There's no easy way around the lack of sleep issue. It sucks. (I'm doing it now, again, with a new puppy - and remembering why I didn't want to have more kids! lol...) One thing that can help when you put baby to bed is if you have a hot water bottle and can warm the sheets slightly before setting him/her down. Moving from your arms to cold sheets can be jarring and wake an exhausted baby.

Also, Vertigo is right on with the Baby Bjorn carrier - that thing was worth its weight in gold. Babies love it, and you can keep them close and cuddled while still being able to function with both hands as necessary.

Well...my story isn't all roses. I got
Postpartum psychosis after my third was born (had no idea I was bipolar then) My husband got up with her and practically took care of her full time. He lost his job because I needed him at home so we moved into my in laws for a few months. I don't think I was "me" till she was a year and a half. We are bonded now but it look a while. Hope your experience is much better than mine.