[annmaria]

Hi all

I have dx of BP1/psychosis features, I am in the depression cycle with suicidal ideations.

I feel like I am in a big black hole, i managed to crawl to the top just about to stick my head out. I slide right back down to the bottom. just wondering is it different for everyone, how long does the depressive cycle last. I've been having suicidal thoughts, visions, planning for 2 weeks now. I am getting very disturb, I have gone to the mental health services for support. I have just started medication recently and it's a long weekend here in Ireland. I have had telephone contact with the crisis nurse for long weekend.

I am just so bloody tired, I want to cry but can't. I had mania cycle for months and got myself into so much trouble.

Thanks

Annmaria

[Icare dixit]

Can you sleep?

As long as you can sleep I think you should give in and endure the severe emotional pain. Nothing you can do. Just wait and do nothing but trying to sleep. Expect nothing. Don't think about the future, how hopeless it seems. Don't interact with people. Do nothing. Don't care about when you sleep, how long you sleep. If you truly don't care about the future, paradoxically, you wouldn't want to end it. There is no reason for it.

Don't ever think about the past during this.

After all that, you should feel a little better and you might want to just focus on resolving your problems, making changes and plans for the future, but without any emotional reaction, Stoically, practically. Don't care about blame or guilt. You owe it to others not to care about owing anyone. And take your time. Ease it before fighting it, striking it.

Hope this makes sense and might be helpful. You can do this. Overcoming the struggle is rewarding. At least wait for the reward. You may just as well.

[Icare dixit]

Realise that being at the top is not the same as being functional at the top. Do things gradually. Don't try to do things you just "should" be able to do.

Do what works.

[annmaria]

Originally Posted by Icare dixit

Can you sleep?

As long as you can sleep I think you should give in and endure the severe emotional pain. Nothing you can do. Just wait and do nothing but trying to sleep. Expect nothing. Don't think about the future, how hopeless it seems. Don't interact with people. Do nothing. Don't care about when you sleep, how long you sleep. If you truly don't care about the future, paradoxically, you wouldn't want to end it. There is no reason for it.

Don't ever think about the past during this.

After all that, you should feel a little better and you might want to just focus on resolving your problems, making changes and plans for the future, but without any emotional reaction, Stoically, practically. Don't care about blame or guilt. You owe it to others not to care about owing anyone. And take your time. Ease it before fighting it, striking it.

Hope this makes sense and might be helpful. You can do this. Overcoming the struggle is rewarding. At least wait for the reward. You may just as well.

Thanks for the reply. Wasn't sleeping, started meds wednesday sleeping a little better. Still waking early morning with suicide S*** racing in my mind. Don't sleep during day, but not functioning with anything.

Will try your suggestions doing most of it apart from sleeping more.

Annmaria

[Bipolarchic14]

I have been there it sucks