[jpb4815]

Has anybody ever done this? I am currently working through the circumstances around my last SA and inpatient stay. I am having a really hard time expressing myself to my wife regarding this. I can sum it up in therapy but then when I am on my own I stumble over my words and cannot explain what was going on in my head. I feel that it is important for her to know where my head was at. Hopefully if she knows she will understand my disease better and not just think that I am selfish.

I am cautious however because I don't want her to go into therapy with me and be combative or defensive. I would love to hear others experiences with this, good or bad.

[Unrigged64072835]

My husband goes to therapy with me and we're fine with it. He usually offers input that I don't think about and has been helpful to me. Of course he realizes that I have mental illness and is accommodating with that.

[LacunaCoiler]

My wife comes with me to mine, though if I ask her to sit one out she's fine with that. I think it's a safer place to discuss hard topics with her when there's a third not related party there to guide the conversation if need be. My therapist has done that with us before and it really helped the situation and our communication. Like Fharraige said, she too offers input and can give the therapist an outside perspective of situations that the therapist can help me with.

Best of luck with your therapy and your wife.

[Victoria'smom]

My husband goes in with me for a variety of reasons. It's never been a bad thing though my (x) therapist did "kick him out" after those conversations to see how I'm doing for the rest of the session.

I was asked to sign a release form so that my husband could come in to therapy, call and get advise on my behalf, and have some say in my care. I couldn't give up the control so I decided to go to family counseling with my husband and children. I found it worked well and nobody got defensive. It was nice to discuss various aspects of my illness in a safe, non judgemental environment.

My husband has come to therapy with me a handful of times. Each time I've been terrified but it always winds up working out for the better. My therapist and pdoc have my permission to contact him if necessary. Honestly it would probably be better if he went with me more often! I think it's a fantastic, and healthy, idea that she go with you.

[BipolarMama31]

My husband comes to EVERY pdoc and t appointment.
This just started this year.
In the past i didnt really try to help myself and wasnt med compliant so I didn't involve him. Plus i was very manic and was doing very bad things i didnt want him to know about.

But ive told him everything and we work together. This is a family illness and everyone is impacted when i am off.

He comes to my dbt and is learning it with me and is doing better than me

I also like that he can offer insite into me that i dont notice when paranoid or manic. And he learns about what im going thru from a third person. He also has the option to contact them when im in a serious condition to avoid ip and gets me help.

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[BeyondtheRainbow]

Something BipolarMama alluded to that is a good idea is to have a release in place that lets someone (anyone, but I think everyone should have this as I'll explain) speak to your therapist and pdoc on your behalf. You can write how much they can discuss; I just write "per therapist discretion".

The reason I think this is important is that in the winter I was scaring my mom because I was so sick. I couldn't make sense, had barely slept in weeks, wasn't eating or showering, etc. and she had no idea what to do. She could have called and they could have taken the information without speaking to her but she didn't know that (and I doubt she knew who to call since she just hear their first names).

Now the releases are in place so that if I get that sick again and totally lack insight she can get help for me. And I know my provider won't tell her more than what to do to get me help and how to handle me until that help happens.

[BipolarMama31]

Originally Posted by BeyondtheRainbow

Something BipolarMama alluded to that is a good idea is to have a release in place that lets someone (anyone, but I think everyone should have this as I'll explain) speak to your therapist and pdoc on your behalf. You can write how much they can discuss; I just write "per therapist discretion".

The reason I think this is important is that in the winter I was scaring my mom because I was so sick. I couldn't make sense, had barely slept in weeks, wasn't eating or showering, etc. and she had no idea what to do. She could have called and they could have taken the information without speaking to her but she didn't know that (and I doubt she knew who to call since she just hear their first names).

Now the releases are in place so that if I get that sick again and totally lack insight she can get help for me. And I know my provider won't tell her more than what to do to get me help and how to handle me until that help happens.

I include their numbers on my 'emergency plan' that hangs in our bedroom.

I got super paranoid a few months ago and def needed ip, but because my husband knew who to contact first we avoided it. They told him just enough to get me help asap.

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[MBM17]

We've done marriage therapy together specifically about our relationship but not individual therapy with him attending.

I've taken my husband with me a handful of times to see my regular therapist for couples therapy. My current therapist is very fair in seeing both sides, and it absolutely helps. I wish I could get my husband to come more but he can't due to scheduling issues.

In contrast to that positive experience, when I took my husband to the previous therapist or couples therapy, she took my side every time and put him on the defensive. After a couple sessions, he stopped saying much at all because she wasn't even listening.

[Treyfrancis21]

I started taking my wife to my therapist and psych nurse appointments every once in a while. I found it to be pretty helpful for her to give her perspective of how my moods have been. Her insight helped me to get on wellbutrin for a depression I wasn't fully aware I was experiencing. She liked the therapist so much that she is now seeing her once a month and occasionally going with me still. I would recommend it if she is receptive and open to learning about what's going on with you.

[leomama]

Originally Posted by jpb4815

Has anybody ever done this? I am currently working through the circumstances around my last SA and inpatient stay. I am having a really hard time expressing myself to my wife regarding this. I can sum it up in therapy but then when I am on my own I stumble over my words and cannot explain what was going on in my head. I feel that it is important for her to know where my head was at. Hopefully if she knows she will understand my disease better and not just think that I am selfish.


I am cautious however because I don't want her to go into therapy with me and be combative or defensive. I would love to hear others experiences with this, good or bad.

If it's not couples therapy it may be bad idea, that both spouses want.

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