Split

I think I might be split again...ugh!

I don't know maybe it is all the stress at work ... work load... had to counsel a team member and they didn't want to hear anything about it and ultimately resigned...when this happens I get overwhelmed and then depressed...but yet I feel manic...

(((((Direction)))))))

sending kind thoughts your way and healing vibes that you may be "whole" again soon!

Hope all gets better...know how ya feel...til you are whole again...you know where to find us....
We're always here for you

Hi Direction......is there steps you can make to prevent a spiral....Stess sure throws me for a loop too.Esp that overwhelming feeling.
Thinking of you.....keep posting

Yes there are steps trying to keep to the structure I created...being deadline driven for budgets at work keeps me focused.

When split...I tend to make really rash decisions and combine that with depression it's not good...I made a rash decision yesterday...and for the past month I guess I've been on a shopping spree...think is under control...but I'm not so sure anymore...

Right now though I really need the up to crank out the budgets at work...I think so much better...I get so much more done...I lost my medicine today so I didn't take my clonzepam at lunch...that just kept the energy going...I'm home and took the proper dose for this time of day.

My mind is working on double time right now...can't keep up with typing...

Bottom line...I've really got to watch this closely...probably need to see a friend...not sure I want to tell them about all this or some of the decisions I made recently...guess I like the secret...

You know the secret feels good sometimes...but the secret can be just as destructive as the good feelings it brings. Have you spoke with your pdoc or your T about this....maybe they can help you find some direction...or at least take a step back and look at things in a realistic manner...(that is what my T is working on with me right now)...Just try to keep a routine you know that works better than anything...the blue skies will come when you least expect them out of the black hole that swirls about us all...Remember we are always here for you.