Wow I'm a loser

I'm at home working on a Saturday night. The hubs is out... I'm not confident enough to leave the house to see friends that I haven't seen in awhile after gaining weight from the meds. I'm officially moping. I know I'll feel guilty for not going, too. It's a special event for a not-terribly-close friend. I feel like I should be going, but I can't will myself to get ready (cover my lithium-caused breakout with make-up and lithium-caused weight gain with carefully selected clothes), drive over, be social, and have enough self-control to not drink because with the meds I'm on I can't drive after even 1. It's just too much.

So here I am. Working and watching netflix by myself while I have this pit of SAD in the middle of my chest.

It's ok. I'm a homebody and I do this stuff all the time. It's not healthy but oh well. Sorry about your weight gain. I've heard of patients on APs faking metformin for weight gain.

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REally that is interesting.
bizi

My pdoc prescribed Topamax. It worked on other people but not on me.

Yes that's a weight loss med for some. My pdoc wouldn't give it to me cuz I'm underweight. Or was at the time lol

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I have gained so much weight in the past couple of years. One of the reasons my boyfriend and I broke up, was do to my weight. That's just b.s because I'm not over weight and go to the gym. Besides how can say that to me when he is nowhere close to being David Beckham. Damn Meds!

Med side-effects can affect my self-esteem, too.
I used to "hide-out" some. However, I am doing more now. If I feel I must, I explain weight gain due to meds. I have a few autoimmune conditions and don't offer up specific info on which meds. I do have to stay on prednisone though and that's a major med known causing weight gain.


WC

I think it's inevitable that I will just continue to lose friends. Things are just so ****ed up. The past 2 years have been horrible and I've been steadily gaining weight; not that that's the only reason I've lost sociability. I don't see the point in trying to find hope anymore. Why try to want to go just to avoid guilt when I can just try to avoid having guilt while doing what I want.

Anytime I think about the future - near or long term - I get a really hollow sad feeling. What's the point of living like this? I'm medicating myself to handle a disorder I haven't come to terms with just well enough so I can get out of bed and make it into work and to the bathroom or back to my car before I break down crying. Then back home to feel sorry for myself and guilty again for not doing things.

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Gosh, You are really being hard on yourself.
please know that you are beautiful.
((((HUGS))))
bizi