[quinoline yellow]

I hope I am not breaking any rules with this post. If I am delete it.

I have been diagnosed bipolar 2 many years ago. I am now almost 34. About 2 months ago I moved into an apartment by myself, which is a struggle to pay rent. I had been living with a woman that I had been dating for 7 years and engaged to for 4. We lived together for 2 years trying to see if it could work with no luck.

Someone in my family may have cancer, I have never been so alone and struggle with emotions and doing basic things like working or finding food. I drink alcohol maybe 3 days during a week, sometimes more. About a decade ago I quit marijuana after smoking habitually for about 4 or 5 years. A bad experience in December 2005 made me quit. Until this week when I obtained some and proceeded to smoke a joint.

Immediately I had what I can only describe as a psychotic break. I was completely dissociated from reality and had massive amounts of paranoia.

I work a physical job in a factory and am afraid I may injure myself on the job and get drug tested, resulting in loss of job and loss of apartment. I feel ashamed for having tarnished my long streak of abstaining from the drug and am struggling to come to terms with the guilt and anxiety of all this. I was just hoping for a release of pain and felt I have dishonored myself and others. I smoked that whole joint, inhaling the whole thing and worry about how long it will be in my body. Has anyone had any similar experiences?

I can imagine some people saying this was a very dumb thing to do.

[Skeezyks]

Hello quinolone yellow: Not intending to add to your woes, but the other problem job-wise would be that, if you were injured on the job & had a "positive" drug test, your employer's workers' compensation carrier might well have a basis for denying payment for any associated medical claims. So, while I won't write that this was a very dumb thing to do (we all do plenty of dumb things) it could potentially have a variety of serious repercussions, as you are well aware.

I don't know how long it takes for something like that to clear your body. My suggestion is: quit the alcohol & the marijuana & perhaps see a therapist to try to resolve the guilt & anxiety you're carrying (assuming you're not already doing so.) No good will come from continuing along the path you are currently treading. As the saying goes: no matter how far you've travelled down the wrong road... turn back!

[quinoline yellow]

thank you. yes, I am well aware of not getting compensation. I am more worried about becoming homeless and living on the street right now. it takes a month or more to get in to see a therapist sometimes, and they have never been much help, because I sometimes don't feel well enough to do the work.

[jpb4815]

If you don't smoke regularly it should be out of your system in a week or two. I had a blown acl last summer at work and they never even tested me. Your mileage may vary. Anyhow keep safe and stay away from the refer of it gives you psychosis. That's why I cannot smoke b

[quinoline yellow]

thanks everyone.

Don't stress. Take extra care at work and stay clean. I think you will be fine. Mistakes happen.

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[Deeplyhurt77]

It's important to seek help but you will have to do the work. When I was on the verge of a mental crisis. I visited about 4 different therapists. I would share my problems then they would tell me they don't take my insurance and told me I can't afford it. Searching is a lot of pain but worth it in the end. Everyone makes mistakes don't dwell on it too much. That will cause more anxiety.

[zijax]

I think it takes a week to ten days for cannabinoids to clear a urine test.