[jpb4815]

I don't know why I want to do this. I just do ((sad face))

My wife asked for a separation on Tuesday. It has been a long time coming. When she told me she wanted a divorce while I was inpatient I begged her to try counceling. We did but it has not helped. It has only exposed how mad at each other we are. She thinks if we are apart she will figure her stuff out. I think she will be done, she told me that she hates being around our kids right now. She blames her crisis on this.

I know it is not a good idea to air our dirty laundry on social media. But it would feel go to get all of the support that I know I will get.

Then again maybe I am being dramatic. D@@@ my irrational mind.

[Unrigged64072835]

Maybe you can PM whoever you want to have on your side, and tell them that way? You won't be posting to the world and you can still get your support.

[Daonnachd]

I'm so sorry to see this.

How old are your kids? How can she hate being around them? I can't fathom that.

No matter how this evolves, I wish you all the best.

[jpb4815]

That would be the ideal way of doing thing Fharraige. I never seem to be able to do the appropriate thing. Hmmm I wonder why. One of the things that will keep me following through with it is that I don't want her to lose respect from any of our mutual friends.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Yeah, it's probably not a good idea to talk about your separation on FB. It seems like you still love her, and in an ideal world, you would still be together, right? After all, you encouraged her to try counseling etc. because you wanted her to give you a second chance.

If I were in your shoes and I wanted support, I would talk to the people I trust the most... for example, my best friend (if I ever had one). Stay away from people who are both of your friends. Talk to your guy friends or guys at work.

I think it's good to keep the support "offline" and away from social media. Don't even post cryptic things on Facebook like "I'm having a rough time right now" because she'll get wind of it.

But, I must say... anyone who hates being around their own kids is a red flag.

[ComfortablyNumb5]

I just got out of IP on Sunday and upon picking me up, my fiancé tells me he wants to move out. So I get what you're going through. However I would not post anything on fb. I think it's tacky when people post their personal problems. I do have a few fb friends I PM though and talk about these things with.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[jpb4815]

Originally Posted by bluebicycle

Yeah, it's probably not a good idea to talk about your separation on FB. It seems like you still love her, and in an ideal world, you would still be together, right? After all, you encouraged her to try counseling etc. because you wanted her to give you a second chance.

If I were in your shoes and I wanted support, I would talk to the people I trust the most... for example, my best friend (if I ever had one). Stay away from people who are both of your friends. Talk to your guy friends or guys at work.

I think it's good to keep the support "offline" and away from social media. Don't even post cryptic things on Facebook like "I'm having a rough time right now" because she'll get wind of it.

But, I must say... anyone who hates being around their own kids is a red flag.

I guess there is a part of me that wants to get there first, so messed thinking that way. But yeah I am sure that I am looking for encouragement to not carry through with my dysfunctional plan.

As for still loving her,I guess I do but I think it is in just the mother of my children kind of way. After what she did last summer and the way she has been acting towards me and the kids. I also kind of hate her.

Being a grown up sucks.

[Victoria'smom]

jpb4815,

Is she going to T herself or just the couples Therapist? I imagine she's planing on leaving as the kids plan to stay with you? She maybe needs a break from her life. She may feel stuck. It may have nothing to do with you in IP, just sucky timing. There's support here on PC as well as the BP board there's a divorce and separation board. I would be very wary of telling anyone in real life until you figure out the logistics but then again I am a very private person. The one person I talk to (besides PC) when I want a divorce is T. No one else in our families/friends knows how close to divorce we have come. It would be nice to have extra support but it's not worth creating animosity between him and my friends/family.

[jpb4815]

Originally Posted by Miguel'smom

jpb4815,

Is she going to T herself or just the couples Therapist? I imagine she's planing on leaving as the kids plan to stay with you? She maybe needs a break from her life. She may feel stuck. It may have nothing to do with you in IP, just sucky timing. There's support here on PC as well as the BP board there's a divorce and separation board. I would be very wary of telling anyone in real life until you figure out the logistics but then again I am a very private person. The one person I talk to (besides PC) when I want a divorce is T. No one else in our families/friends knows how close to divorce we have come. It would be nice to have extra support but it's not worth creating animosity between him and my friends/family.

Thanks to everybody, I really don't know why obsess over doing these things that I know are dysfunctional and unhealthy. I haven't told anybody save for a friend in India.
I was willing to forgive the infidelity and the hell she has put me through is she would get her act together and start therapy. Then she came home and told me about wanting to seperate and how she needed time from the kids because she hates them right now.she also told me that she wishes I would just get over my BP. I think that made me realize that I am done. I have been pondering that lately but that kind of cements it.
You all are right. Stupid and tacky move to post it. I will get the support of the friends that really count I guess once word gets out.

[Victoria'smom]

This has nothing to do with your BP. I'm sorry you have to go through this.

[hopeless2015]

Hugs j sorry your going through this. We will support you here. I know this is hard

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G930A using Tapatalk

I don't think venting on FB is a good idea. People do it all the time, I've heard (I don't use FB)...but she could twist a weak argument about "stability" if custody is at issue, if you end up in court. It's stigma but I'd resist because it might be used against you. It's a weak argument but it could be made to build a case. Don't think she has one. Don't help her.

Also, living happily is the best revenge. That will take time, but you'll get there. xo

[zijax]

I'd stay away from facebook if I was you.