[zijax]

I've been stable and in recovery from alcohol and drugs for nine months. I boxed up my disabled sister's condo two weeks ago. The cleaning, organizing and packing took a week. It was a monumental task because it was filthy and she never threw anything away. She was also sick so I had to take care of her. I moved her into my Mom's house near my apartment. Then my Mom got sick with a heart condition. I have now been taking care of my Mom and my sister and staying over there all week. They are driving me crazy. My sister is extremely self-centered and has temper tantrums. She is incontinent and has had diarreah for a month and does not clean up after herself when she can. My Mother is a controlling, anxious person who is becoming like a child. I mean there is so much going on I can't even begin to describe it. I'm just gritting my teeth trying to deal with all the problems and stay sane and sober. I'm finding myself with a short fuse. I'm highly irritable but stuffing it. I'm cussing again. I'm losing my connection to God. My smoking has increased. I'm super angry. My Mother refuses to talk to my Dad on the phone about my sister and my sister is afraid to call him so I have to. My parents have been divorced for thirty years. Get the f^%$ over it Mom, this is your child. I'm so sick of this. I'm trying to help but I'm frustrated. Why can't I just be a nice caregiver damnit.

[Daonnachd]

Remember that to remain healthy, you must also have time for yourself. Don't deny yourself a bit of a break now and then.

[hopeless2015]

You have a lot on your plate right now HUGS, sounds extremely stressful

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[NoIdeaWhatToDo]

If you're in the US, you might look into an in-home respite care program. It's designed to give primary caregivers a break to take care of themselves, get out of the house, accomplish other tasks, etc.

It sounds like there is an overwhelming amount on your plate right now. Cut yourself some slack on not being the ideal caregiver - none of us can sustain perfection for long. You're setting yourself up for failure if you're expecting yourself to be perfect. It sounds like you need a break, and you're not getting one. I would be edgy/irritable/angry in that situation, too.

I think people (especially those with some sort of MI) view all their actions, reactions and behaviors through the lens of their mental state - solely as a reflection of who they are. I think often, and particularly in your scenario, our actions, reactions and behaviors can also a be pretty good indication of the circumstances in which we find ourselves. (I.e., you're reacting in an overwhelmed manner, because your circumstances right now are overwhelming. You're not reacting that way because of your BP, necessarily.)

Good luck - I hope you can carve out some time and space for yourself.

You mentioned you're in recovery. Put yourself first, no one else will. Good job on sobriety!

[Wild Coyote]

It feels like you are being very hard on yourself.

The situation seems overwhelming!
You have loved ones needing a lot of help. Yet, maybe you cannot sanely provide all of the help they need? Maybe nobody could do so?

This situations seems like one for a "team" of people as caretakers/helpers.

Please do step back, regain perspective and take good care of yourself!

Do you have adequate support in place?
Do you see a therapist?

Is it possible to get your family members' respective doctors involved to write referrals for help from agencies like "visiting nurses," occupational therapy, others?

Any one person would feel overwhelmed with what little you have reported here.

You have to care for yourself first and foremost!


WC

[zijax]

Thanks everybody. Feeling alot better. Staying at my place tonight. Going out with a friend to a NAMI meeting called Bridges to Hope where this NAMI guy is going to help church pastors learn how to talk to the mentally ill in their congregation. My friend and I are going just to observe. Least it will be something different than adult diapers! You guys are awesome really. I guess I just needed someone to listen. Thanks for being there for me.

[ComfortablyNumb5]

Yea can you hire a caregiver? Please take gentle care of yourself and your sobriety. I'm struggling right now too and it's so hard not to drink. But drinking Is was got me these problems. Go to meetings of you can and vent here. We're all here for you

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