[jpb4815]

Last time I was IP here I admitted to having had an opiate addiction 23 years prior and he took away my Klonopin. He said no opiate addict should ever have benzos, when I corrected him by saying ex-addict he rolled his eyes.

He is doing the same crap this time and my anxiety is going through the roof. I texted my PDoc to see if she can come but she never replied. I won't eat this clozapine, I spit the last dose, if it's half as bad as depicted on homeland no way. How do I get my PDoc in here to really help me, she's been working with me for 8 years. This guy probably isn't even done with med school. How in the world am I supposed to get to sleep without my seroquel? If I don't sleep and the demons and angels return they will move me up to the long term lockdown ward. Just want my head to straighten out.

[Wild Coyote]

You could ask the inpatient pdoc to call your private pdoc.

You could also ask your private pdoc to call your inpatient pdoc.

Can your private pdoc talk to you for 5 minutes on the phone or is there a policy against that?

Can you ask for Seroquel?

Hang in jp. It will get sorted out.

Keep posting. We care about you!


WC

[raspberrytorte]

Why is he taking you off of seroquel?

[houlio]

good luck

[raspberrytorte]

Why is he putting you on clozapine?

[gina_re]

Is there a nurse or social worker you can talk to if you don't trust this pdoc? He/she may be able to help.

[jpb4815]

My PDoc never texted me back. She has not done that since she gave me her cell phone number. They want me on the meds this a&&hat decided upon. . There is a rusty screw just lying in the corner of my room. Wth how is that missed in room sweep? Wish I had travelled an extra half hour to the other hospital. I wonder if I can request another PDoc?

[jpb4815]

Originally Posted by raspberrytorte

Why is he taking you off of seroquel?

He is cruel and hates me

[Victoria'smom]

First night they never get my meds right. Wait until you see him tomorrow and find out what's going on.

[raspberrytorte]

Originally Posted by jpb4815

He is cruel and hates me

And he's seriously just ripping you off of clonazepam?

wtf

I wouldn't be trusting him either.

[jpb4815]

I was there last night and they shot something into my IV. I guess I hadn't had any water in a while. Whatever it was made me finally sleep.

I want to tell them to remove the screw from the floor but they will just think I broke it off something and put me back on a watch.

[jpb4815]

Or maybe it was this morning. Can't remember

[Wild Coyote]

Is it possible he's thinking you need a med change if Seroquel wasn't helping enough?

If you are in a teaching hospital, you can sometimes request a change in residents.

Can you request a transfer to the hospital you prefer?

Don't give up on your pdoc. Does she know you've been admitted?
Sometimes our private pdocs are great advocates for us.


WC

[jpb4815]

The nurse just told me that I am being combative. Yes this is a teaching hospital. All I did was ask to speak to patient advocacy. I feel like a drama queen. All I want is to get back down and go home. At least my T is coming to see me In a little bit. I trust her she is good to me.

[BeyondtheRainbow]

Clozapine isn't so bad. Really. I've been on it 7 months and have had no manias or hypomanias and only one mild depression. I cycle but it's minimal.

I never saw homeland but really and truly clozapine isn't bad stuff. I am so glad I have it. It saved my life, really and truly.

I hope you regain a sense of control soon.

[jpb4815]

You give me hope beyond. Plus I just saw the beautiful moon out of my window. Maybe that is a sign things are going to be ok

[BeyondtheRainbow]

Things will be ok.

Clozaril really has been amazing for me. I have gained some weight on it which is frustrating but better than feeling terrible. I drool at night but this actually improved with time. I do have to get up to pee several times during the night and when my dose was higher (I was on 375 at first and now am on 275) I had to be careful of incontinence when I was really sound asleep (I'm taking meds to help me sleep on top of clozarl; most people find it really sedating but I'm very hard to sedate). The blood draws are annoying but it's actually gone pretty fast.

I'm glad the moon is helping you. My hospital looks out over a lake in the distance. It's hard to see with the safety mesh but if you happen to get a glimpse from the right angle at the right time it is gorgeous.

Please PM me if you ever want to talk about clozapine. One of the hard things about it is that not so many people are on it. I think there are maybe 4-5 of us on PC who admit it.

But mostly, just know that it with Emsam, have been my miracle. I had a 2 year long episode that clozapine stopped and I've never gone this long without a major episode requiring increased meds. Instead we're decreasing them, something I've never really gotten to do. It's not all better but anything beats the last 2 years before this stuff started working.

[Yoda]

I have been taking Clozaril since 2007 and it controls my mania and helps me sleep. If I run out of it it knocks me out when I restart it then within a few days it is not so intensely sedating.

[jpb4815]

I have found the key. It is funny that Yoda
posted. I am using the force on these weak minded fools to think I am following protocol. I will not give in. I will get home and finish the important work I am doing.

[HALLIEBETH87]

I hope things get better for you. <3

[BeyondtheRainbow]

Originally Posted by jpb4815

I was there last night and they shot something into my IV. I guess I hadn't had any water in a while. Whatever it was made me finally sleep.

I want to tell them to remove the screw from the floor but they will just think I broke it off something and put me back on a watch.

Once I was given a paperclip while IP and not safe with it. I didn't want to give it to a nurse and admit that I wasn't safe. I wound up tossing it into the heating thing. Could you do something like that with the screw? I'm trying to think where else things could be disposed of in my IP. Wrapped in a paper towel and thrown away in the dining/group room? That's all I can think of and I'm sure it depends on the size of the unit you are on and the level of supervision.

[jpb4815]

My T took the cursed screw. The demons put it there to tempt me and I passed

[BeyondtheRainbow]

I'm glad your therapist came to see you. Besides taking the screw (what a relief) did it help?

I'm too far away for my therapist to come see me when I'm IP but we've talked on the phone during several of my stays and it really helped a lot.

[Rjaye]

IV? Okay, you are sicker than you're letting on.

Try to rest until you can advocate for yourself and request to talk to a new Pdoc or better yet, to the social worker who can help you negotiate the system. There are other drugs that can help with anxiety if the concern is addiction.

One of the reasons you may have been taken off of the klonopin is that it can cause or aggravate suicidal ideation. If you can speak with a social worker who can advocate for you with the Pdoc and staff, perhaps you can get a clear reason why the doc decided to change up your meds and why you are now on the ones they are giving you. One reason you may be on the clozapine is that it reduces suicidal ideation.

Try not to get agitated if you can-it may be taken for combativeness. That's a sure way to get stuck in IP. Find someone you have some kind of rapport with and talk to them.

I wish you luck in finding out exactly why you're meds were changed and how the doc thinks they will help you, and ask him why he's concerned about the benzo with you, or is it his practice in general? He may just automatically take people off benzos if they have had any kind of addiction and it's not you personally.

Try to find ways to keep yourself busy until you can speak with the right people. Take care of yourself. Stay in bed if that's what it takes. Let the nurses know you want to speak with the social worker so you can stay in bed if you feel you need to.

Metta.

[jpb4815]

No sleep tonight. Last time I get to use my phone. Thank you all for the kind words. This is scary I think I am getting moved tomorrow morning.