Here we go again

It's a never ending cycle
This bipolar thing
up
down
pass right through middle ground
"Let's look at your chart," he says.
"You look down, we need to push you up."
"Let's look at your chart," he says.
"You look up, we need to get you down a bit."
What do you think?
How do you feel about your treatment.
(Thought you would see it my way).
Well guess what. . .
A week later I don't.
This is all for the birds.
I am tired of all of this up/down crap.
Tired of all of this trial and error.
Tired of all of this compliance for nothing.
Might as well do my own thing.
Figure it out myself.
Save a few dollars (a few hundred. . . a few thousand).
How much did I spend on mental health last week?
Just to be on my way up this week?
How can this be?
Disconnected, distracted, frustrated, finished.
I am so over this bipolar thing.
You can have it back now.
No thank you!

This is why I'm hesitant to get a pdoc. Granted I am usually left trying to figure this out myself. But I think constant med changes would make things so much harder.

When/if you find stability, the med changes stop. It's been worth it in my case, but I know the discomfort of the pre-stability roller coaster.

Have you ever considered trying alternative treatment such as amino acids and the mineral supplement lithium orotate? I was on meds for bipolar 2 for 13+ years, and finally went off them due to some nasty side-effects. The meds were only marginally effective. I later learned about using amino acids and lithium orotate to control my mood. That was 9+ years ago, and my mood has been the most stable it's ever been. I stopped seeing a Pdoc, don't see a therapist and my cost is averages between $1.75 and $2.25 a day if my mood shift and I have to take extra supplements.

No one has a prozac or other pysch med deficiency. What we have is an inability for our brains to produce or hold on to adequate neurotransmitters to keep our moods stable--and this is just my opinion. When I give my brain the nutrients it needs to produce those neurotransmitters, I feel fine and my mood is stable. If I forget to take them for a few days, my mood shifts back to where it is without them. But so long as I'm faithful in taking them, it's amazing how stable my mood is.

Here's an example most people can easily understand about giving your body what it needs to function. I live north of Seattle where it's dark by 4:30 in the winter, and most days are gray and dreary. For years I would start to get depressed by September 15th and remain depressed [this was when I was on psych meds] until around February. Once I learned that it was because of the low light, I bought a full spectrum light and used that in the morning. I also read that a lack of melatonin contributes to SAD so I took extra of that. It was amazing how much using that light and taking the melatonin helped control the depression. If I didn't used the light faithfully, the depression returned.

Here's a good web site dealing with treating mental health issues without drugs.

Alternative Mental Health

This is a great poem, thank for you it!

I do think pdocs can overmedicate sometimes. As if every blip of mood change on the radar screen merits a change in medication (dose or changing around meds). I understand what you mean about pdocs medicating ups so you come down, downs so you come up. I think pdocs can be as inept as us at times (I say this because it's very very difficult) in figuring out what a patient's baseline is, so that you're not always medicating every change in mood. I've experienced this and I think this is where -if you're in a state to be able to- we as patients can advocate for ourselves and sometimes just say 'no' and see if our current med regime might end up getting us out of our mood, also with time, and maybe therapy and using other skills.

I understand the desire to stop something NOW and changing meds to do that, but sometimes (and I mean just sometimes) it can be waited out without these jarring changes (to our brains) with meds.

Sometimes I think the ups and downs can be treated without changing meds, though only sometimes...