Inappropiate Date

Hi does anyone else with Bi-Polar like me every go on non-appropiate dates. Let me explain I am 42 and my next door neighbor is 19 he helped me move on thursday and I asked him if he would feel weriod kissing me and he said no. So on Friday night we went to the movies and just held hands through the movie. We never kissed but I have always liked younger guys but not that young. I will talk to my therapist about this on monday. Now I am obsessing about him. What does this mean or say about the kind of person I am? Am I that screwed up? I am so sad because now I feel like an idiot who has no control. What is wrong with me and how do I stop it? Please everyone I am begging for your input I need help on this. Tammy

I dont want to come across as judgmental.....but you asked ......so here goes.
I am 40,your age ,and work in a high school .I am surrounded by young men,16,17,18,19 years old.Im also the mother of a 21 year old daughter.
I can tell you that young men at that age(even at 19) are not emotionally ready for commitment and would find it difficult to stay in an intimate,mature,supportive relationship.
Chances are that his fancy for you is probably not for your intellectual side,if you know what I mean.You also take the chance for the community,including his friends casting you in a bad light.

Ultimately,if this young man consents and is of age.....you could go with your feelings and be with him.Just be prepared for the possible consequences.

Are you sure its worth it?

Good luck and best wishes.

Ohh yea....I should have also said talking to T is a great idea.I obsess about things too......maybe its just something that will pass.....I dont think your an idiot either....Im just concerned about the fallout.

I think at some point we all do inappropriate things...that is the nature of bp. Most of the time when I act out...it is sexually. I really hate to say that because it is not something I am proud of...but it is factual.

i agree with dreamrunner...talk to your T...and don't be to hard on yourself. We all do some stupid *****.

yes, we've all either done it at one time or another. you aren't alone in this......xoxoxo pat

(((desilva)))

What were you needing when you wanted to go out with him? Needs arent good or bad. Maybe you can decide on something a bit safer to meet that need? You deserve to have your needs met in healthy ways.

ev

I think Dreamrunner has something to really think about...

I agree with Dreamrunner, too.

In addition, you might want to think about what impact this could have on your 17-year-old daughter. I know my 16- and 18-yo's would freak if I had that kind of interaction with a kid their age... especially if he was a neighbor or one of their friends. Even if she is okay with it now, the fall-out for your daughter could be just as bad or worse than it may be for you.

Definitely talk with your therapist about this. If you're having impulsivity problems (like all of us at times) because of your bipolar disorder, you really need someone to help ground you. Maybe a temporary increase in meds is in order?