They're all wrong

I feel like all of my Dx's are wrong and that my pdoc has been giving me legitimate medicine for the Dx's, but he does it to make money off me, not because he thinks I have these Dx's. (He doesn't want to get caught Rx'ing a placebo, because that's illegal.) Therefore, the medication is effectively "poison" since I don't need it. Or maybe he is an honest man and thinks I have these Dx's because I inadvertently told him the wrong thing. Maybe I inadvertently told him the wrong thing because I wanted an "answer" for my behavior.

I think one of these scenarios is true because my meds don't work. I keep getting a period of sadness or hyperactivity every month or every 2 months. And right now I'm getting a period of both hyperactivity and sadness combined, and it has lasted 1 week so far. I thought I was mixed, but now I don't even know. I question the BP Dx and the other Dx's. I just don't know what's true anymore. My treatment for the other "Dx's" doesn't work either, which makes me wonder how true those "Dx's" are.

Also, I don't think I've ever met the full criteria for hypo/mania.

Help?

i cant tell you what is going on with you but i understand the feelings you are having i am sorry you have to go through this.

I think you're on to something.

The medical profession as a whole is trained to match meds to symptoms, and then ensure that the patient is given those meds so the Pdoc is covered legally. They aren't trained to try to figure out where those symptoms are coming from and try to resolve them so the patient gets better. When I was seeing a naturopath for some issues, he told me he went into that profession as his mother who was a Pdoc shared an building with a naturopath whose 'patients actually got better!' because the goal was to figure out what was going on and fix it naturally. That's the opposite of what psychiatry does as they need to keep you coming back month after month so they can pay their bills.

Have you checked the side-effects of your meds to see if what you're experiencing could be related to them? The reason I ask is because I know from being on meds for over 13 years that they have things like anxiety and depression as side-effects, and I wouldn't be terribly surprised if the combination couldn't include hypomania or mania. I can't tell you the insane side-effects that I experienced and have seen family members experience to the point that's the first thing I consider when I hear about strange new symptoms emerging.

Based on all my research over the years of treating myself using natural supplements, I've read that most antidepressants are only slightly more effective than sugar pills over time. That's why you see so many people taking multiple antidepressants and mood stablizers which should tell us that they don't address the root of the problem, they just calm and sedate us to where we're manageable.

I'm not a pdoc so I can't diagnose you, but you do seem to cycle really rapidly. If I were you I would see about getting some psychological testing done. It's a PhD psychologist that does that. I think then you'll have a clearer picture of what you're dealing with. I'm so sorry blue that you're struggling with this.

Damn it's frustrating when meds don't seem to work.

Don't discount the fact that if your pdoc is not working out for you in the long run, there are other pdocs out there who will work with you and hopefully find meds that help stabilise you in the long run.

Take care of yourself.

Maybe you can discuss this with your doctor the next time you meet him/her? Like, going over your symptoms and also stating the meds are not really working. Maybe you can get some changes. I'm not even diagnosed yet so I can't say anything about how that usually works... I don't think the doctors would put you on meds you don't need, because he personally wouldn't make any money from that , it would just go to the whole industry. There's a lot we don't know about psychopharmacology though , and how the medication actually works. For some people it works wonders, others might need some different. It's quite individual. So I guess that is why it is important to discuss this with your doctor! That a different brand / substance might work better for you. If not then you can always change back to what you're taking now.

Btw does your sad episodes correlate with your period? Then you might have PMDD. Worth looking into! Mine totally do....

Anyways, good luck!

Also have you heard about darkness therapy and blue light blockers? I heard that's quite an effective (additional) help for rapid cyclers.

No, my episodes don't correlate with my period.

My sadness lasts 2 weeks, and my hyperactivity lasts 1. Then when I have both (like right now), I get frustrated.

I think my pdoc is trying to hurt me. He is giving me wrong meds on purpose to take my money

I just haven't been able to sleep for the last week. I keep getting 2-4 hours a night. It's driving me up a wall

I actually did get psychological testing done... twice. I got 3 opinions in total. They all said the same thing, but I think they're trying to take advantage of me and take my money. I mean, psychological testing always results in you having some sort of "disorder". They never say, "hey, nothing is wrong with you."

Then again if you wouldn't have any issues you wouldn't seek help in the first place. I often got the "opposite diagnosis" (you're fine) when seeking help, because I always went to see someone when in my good phases. And tried to explain how **** I feel over and over again and they're just like , nah you seem fine, don't worry. Because also when seeking help when superdepressed I would get random energy and sound like a happy person. :/ hah. But I'm like, I don't care if I get a diagnosis or not, I just want help!! So point is I don't think they put diagnoses on people for no reason. I hope this time I can properly explain how severe it gets sometimes so I can finally get this properly evaluated.... I hope you figure it out and find something that works!

Yeah, sorry that happened to you. I hope you get the help you deserve.

The only thing I get when hyper is hallucinations sometimes, like voices and non-existent phones ringing, and I need less sleep. I suppose that's a problem, but none of my meds prevent that from happening.

Meds suck

I fully agree that meds suck. That being said, it sucks worse when I'm not on them.

ive been beginning to think its all bull $hit too. my meds don't do much if anything. and ive been on meds for 13 years now. and ive had drs do two med switches at once before, like as a dr, that's just bad science... and the people who write the dsm get their funding from nimh which is government funded and the government has been bought and paid for by pharmaceutical companies to sell meds. so each revision of the dsm they make it so more people get diagnosed, more people on meds, more money in their pocket. its all a scam.

I agree. Every time you turn around they're coming up with a new diagnosis that are just personality traits that need medicating. The goal of Big Pharma is getting everyone on at least one med so they have lifelong customers.

Sorry to hear that things aren't working out for you.

I am very skeptical of the drugs that are so often pushed in the mental health industry. I have very little faith in the ability to receive a proper diagnosis without extensive, objective testing against multiple disorders criteria, combined with observed and stated symptoms over a period of time. My last T nailed down a few DX on the first session and requested I see the pdoc to begin a drug regimen. I immediately opposed that, and when he persisted, I requested a new T. The new guy hasn't said what he thinks is going on, but he is sure I need to see the pdoc to begin a drug regimen.

Everyone in the industry keeps saying that talk therapy and other forms of therapy such as CBT or DBT are the core to getting better. I've made it this far without drugs or therapy, so isn't it reasonable to expect that therapy alone could make some measurable increase in quality of life? When pointing this out to the experts in the industry we are met with the "well you need the drugs so we can get through the therapy, so you can feel better now". Yea right, they dope you up on drugs till you have some kind of synthetic high, and your unresolved anxiety is dulled slightly so they can say see, the therapy is working. Oh and by the way, your organs are messed up, and you have to take diabetes medicine, and your brain is permanently damaged from the drugs and you have to take some of them for the rest of your life now.

I think a lot of people end up hospitalized or worse when these cocktails of mind altering drugs are battling each other and end up driving someone soo far into an extreme that they would not have gone to naturally. You end up being a walking, talking science project who pays for their creative cooking with years of your life lost to altered states and hospital stays. The actual illness you went to get help for was so long ago lost in the side effects and overuse of this or that drug that a rediagnosis at this point would be near impossible.

I know that I am messed up, and that there are probably drugs that would improve my quality of life. I however do not trust the people I have available to me in the mental health industry to not screw me up in ways and to levels I can't fathom. So I end up taking NO drugs. And reading voraciously about disorders online, and taking tests, and studying disorders to try figuring out just what the hell is wrong with me so I can convince the bumbling idiots at the clinic what to write about me in my file.

The whole process is infuriating, and dolled out to us in 1 hour increments of condecending talk of how mentally ill people are incapable of recognizing proper treatment, and suspecting our providers are wrong and hurting us be it on purpose or by accident is some kind of further symptom proof of xyz illness they have stamped on our forehead.

If a person doesn't spend a decent amount of time baseline ( think at least 3 months) then I would say a person or Doctor is going to call it rapid due to lack of baseline , how can someone decide rapid when there is no baseline to compare to?

I hate Big Pharma.

Get a second or third opinion.

It's interesting... Supposedly I was "mixed" when I first sought help because I was hallucinating, feeling down, having little need for sleep, racing thoughts, etc.. I had these feelings for 2 months.

My mood never changed this rapidly until I started meds, namely Lexapro. I mean, $hit... I used to feel down for MONTHS at a time and have a few months where I felt fine. Now my "down" mood lasts 2-3 weeks. Wtf? This "rapid cycling" started 1 month after I got my first psychological eval, which is precisely when I started taking lexapro.

Also got 3 opinions and they all said the same: BP. I just don't trust any them. I think they're all part of a big pharmacy scheme to make money off me. I mean, it's like I said: if you go seek help, you're going to get diagnosed with *something*. They're never going to let you go and say there's nothing wrong with you. No. They want your money. So the easiest thing for them to do is slap a BP label on me.

It's easy for them to do because of my reactions to lexapro and adderall

I understand....it's all very confusing. I don't know what to do about the meds. Part of me feels I should take them....that if I have another episode it would be all my fault if I stopped taking the meds. This is what the doctors suggest and I've even read it in this forum (reading between the lines a bit but it's still there) I used to always feel like drugs were being pushed on me when I came here.....I worried the people responding behind the screens actually worked for big pharma. Now that I feel I've finally accepted taking the meds, most of what I read here is leading me to resort back to previous thinking. The lifelong side effects of these meds are horrible. I was told not to look up side effects anymore by my doctors and I haven't on my newest med.....now I'm just so darned confused I don't know what to think. Why does every decision have to be so hard.....I might die if I don't take them ...... I might get even sicker if I do. I really need to think about all this....the science is wishy washy and changes depending on the angle you look at it with. Nothing is solid or concrete enough for me.

Lexapro and Adderall to me is like tossing gas onto a uncontrollable wild fire. Why toss activating meds on you ?

I really hope you find relief soon, I know you have to be exhausted.

If you are still on the lexapro my guess it's that's what's causing the cycling. Prozac did that to me

I am glad I am not the only one who has these feelings about meds. I always worry about long term side effects like some of the drugs haven't been around long enough to know what they will do to someone who is on them for a very long time. Plus I think they are over prescribed I think therapy does more work than the meds and lots of people are just put straight on meds and given no therapy sometimes I even wonder if the meds are a placebo and actually do nothing anyway I have many reasons I don't trust meds but I am glad I am not the only one.

I am adding lithium orotate to my mix of meds. I don't want to take the rx form because I don't want to affect my thyroid.
I also am not going to tell my pdoc about this until I give it a shot.
We both feel that I am under medicated. Have been drinking like a fish.
I am hoping with more stable mood that I won't want to drink so much.
bizi