[xRavenx]

I'm upset that things have taken a turn for the worse, and of course this had to happen right after I saw my pdoc. Only a few days ago, I thought everything was looking up, as if I'm starting to gradually get out of this depressive episode I've been in. I wasn't in a "great" mood when I saw my pdoc, but I told her the depression was more manageable, which it was. She noticed a response to the increase in meds (and so did I since I have a lot more energy), so she decided to keep my meds the way they are since she recently increased my Lamictal XR, and I was recommended to see her again in one month. I really did think everything was beginning to work.

Well, just my luck....the feelings of depression came on so intensely today and suddenly. All the thoughts of self-hatred, not feeling things will get better, self-destructive thoughts (I don't want to trigger anyone), although I know I won't act on those thoughts. I don't know whether to try riding it out for a few days to see if there's improvement since I only started to feel this way all of the sudden, or if I should call my pdoc tomorrow. Although I have more energy now, I'm not sure if that's a great thing since I have a history of mania and mixed moods.

My follow up is now five weeks away! I can't think of anything that triggered these thoughts. I'm willing to give it a shot and wait to see how I feel.....but I'm not sure how long I should give myself to see if I improve? All these feelings just came down at once. What do you think I should do? Have you had that experience where your pdoc visit went well since you were feeling better, then all those horrible feelings come back shortly after, with your next follow up weeks away?

[MusicLover82]

Did you get enough sleep last night? Are you getting less exercise? You said nothing seemed to make these feelings come on, but I just wanted to encourage you to make sure you are taking care of yourself physically as well as mentally. I recently found out I had low Vitamin D and I think taking Vitamin D also helps with my depression.

At any rate, I would give it a little time if your depression is not interfering with work or your daily life. It's normal for our moods to cycle every now and then even if we are mostly stable on meds. You know yourself better than anyone else, though, and if the intense feelings persist and concern you, I would make an appointment to see your pdoc sooner.

P.S. Changes in seasons can affect bipolar people (says my pdoc). I've felt more depressed lately, too.

[bizi]

Take good care of yourself. maybe journaling would help?

sorry your depression has worsened>
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi

[Blue_Bird]

I would let it go and if it continues for awhile then bring it up, you could just be having a bad day.

[Unrigged64072835]

Keep an eye on it for a few days and see if it lets up. It might be due to your med change, so wait until it evens out.

Becoming unwell after seeing the pdoc has happened to me as well. My pdoc is so hard to get ahold of that I end up going to the ER if I'm in crisis. Otherwise I just try to ride it out.

[xRavenx]

Thank you all for your replies. You all brought up good points. I have been thinking that maybe I need to make more of an effort to take better care of myself. I was for a while, but then I slipped for some reason, maybe because of stress where I have not been sleeping as well, I'm staying up too late, and I haven't been taking any vitamins....so maybe that's something I can try to do. I do notice some seasonal changes. Last night scared me since it is usually a "warning sign" of worse things to come, but today I'm slightly better, so I'll just keep an eye out on things and will try to stay positive instead of expecting the worse to happen.