all he wanted to talk about was the ocd that has barely been an issue recently and even just before i went into the hospital it wasnt an issue when i started to feel amazing and invincible and magical for those 7 weeks all my anxiety went away pretty much i didnt have any panic attacks a few moments when i went to hospital but nothing like i usually had and i was sad but he seemed to think i was sad when i went in and kept asking why i was not taking an antidepressant number 1 i dont make those decisions the doctors at the hospital did and he seemed to think the ocd was being helped by the meds but it ha come back since i started the meds ugh i am so mad it is like he wasnt listening to anything that was bothering me i tried to tell him but he kept like ignoring me now i am all agitated and annoyed like even when i am trying to be honest no one is listening right now my biggest issue is not knowing how i will feel from one moment to another not the ocd yes it was at one point but ugh i want to scream.

i literally feel like i am about to start crying.

Crying is good. Necessary even. I think some with BPD don't like to feel their emotions sometimes? True?

Originally Posted by ValentinaVVV

Crying is good. Necessary even. I think some with BPD don't like to feel their emotions sometimes? True?

it isnt that i dont like to feel them i just cant cry like it wont come out

Originally Posted by eden1515

it isnt that i dont like to feel them i just cant cry like it wont come out

Yes. I understand this happens. I feel numbed by meds. I mean not totally numb, but a bit.

"it isnt that i dont like to feel them i just cant cry like it wont come out"

I know what you mean--it's like the emotions flow through your body in waves but there is no way to express it. You just have to accept the way it feels because there is no way to stop it.

Originally Posted by Mysterious153

"it isnt that i dont like to feel them i just cant cry like it wont come out"

I know what you mean--it's like the emotions flow through your body in waves but there is no way to express it. You just have to accept the way it feels because there is no way to stop it.

i know but it hurts

i dont even know if i can speak to him again. the whole appointment just felt so weird.

[raspberrytorte]

I understand how it feels when you want to cry but can't. Hugs, eden.

i just feel so awful today after that i just i cant even explain it i dont even know anymore.

[luvyrself]

Originally Posted by eden1515

i dont even know if i can speak to him again. the whole appointment just felt so weird.

He was trying to catch up w things, yes?

Originally Posted by luvyrself

He was trying to catch up w things, yes?

I don't even know I think so but it was just really weird.