[Crook32]

Been home for two days now. I can't stay awake for more than 3 hours at a time. I feel so much worse than when I went into the hospital. While there I first rapid cycled then fell into a really deep depression for two weeks. I thought I had come out of it and was stable enough to leave. But now I am feeling very depressed again, crying every night and have thoughts of suicide and self harm again. I really wish I had never gone to the hospital. I am just trying to hold out until I see my T on Wednesday.

[MobiusPsyche]

Getting out of the hospital can have that effect. It can be destabilizing in itself. Try to hang in there until you can see your T. I'm sorry you're going through this.

yeah hospital can do that it did to me for a bit too i think it is the change in environment especially when you are there for a long time it seems the longer you are there the harder it is to get out. i hope you feel better soon.

[MusicLover82]

I would go follow up with my pdoc ASAP. You don't need to be feeling this way, or sleeping that little at a time. Do you feel like you didn't get good care while in IP? Was it your pdoc you saw in the hospital or someone different? ((HUGS)) I hope you feel better soon.

[Crook32]

Some of the nurses were good and some were really bad. I liked the second dr I saw. Just saw my pdoc on Saturday won't see him again for 4 weeks. I am just so tired. I am trying hard to stay at work 4 more hours.

[mossanimal]

I went into bad depression for like two days and then hypomania soon after. It was my first diagnosis with BP. It felt so amazing to have an explanation for my chaotic life.

[Unrigged64072835]

Hope you can hang in there until you see your T.

It was different for me when I last left IP. I was stable; then when I was home the switch was flipped and I became super anxious. I had to change my meds but I'm at the point where I can't do anymore unless I change my mood stabilizer again.

[Gabyunbound]

Did they change your meds around when you were IP to ones that cause a lot of sedation? Because I can see sedation -or sleepiness in general- causing or worsening depression; it's demoralizing being so sleepy that you can't get anything done and I think that can contribute. Just hold on til you see your T, I hope that helps. If it is, in fact, new sedating drugs that are doing this, maybe you could call your pdoc (since it's so long until you see him/her) and talk about changing meds.

I can see how going from such a safe, structured environment to life as usual can be a shock to the system. I hope you can hang on until you see your T, at least you will be in a safe environment there as well. Best of luck, I'm rooting for you!

[BeyondtheRainbow]

I have been completely exhausted every time I've come home from IP, regardless of how I slept and what was done. I think for me it is a need to adjust to all the stimulation in the world after being in a place that is kept so low stimulation. Just having multiple colors around me is a big change (my IP is all greens and beige). It always takes a week or two. Of course the last time (in February) it was med related and I have remained pretty tired since because I need a huge amount of sleep on my current meds. But even then the first couple of weeks I was more tired than later on.

[Crook32]

In the morning I take 600mg of lithium and 100mg of Lamictal. In the evening I take 600mg of lithium, 100mg of Lamictal, 1mg of klonopin and 0.5mg of Prolixin.

I managed to work 7 hours today but now I am ready to pass out. I got so much work assigned to me today that I am overwhelmed.