An open letter from Tigger

once upon a time there lived a man who knew , who he was , where he was , and why he was. Then came that day , and yes I can name that exact day. Thus started a journey , there were quack pill pushers that led to in patient . there was a total destruction of any and all self confidence . there was a break down of who and what and why I was .

It will be four years day after thanksgiving . In that four years I have slowly regained the who , what and some what the why I am . two months ago I would have said , in fact the wife did that I was the best I had been in the last four years . Mentally I felt strong , clear headed and except for poor sleep ; which also started four years ago , and a very little anxiety ; well on my way to where I was before .

Then came the rash , for three weeks I blamed the heat as I work outdoors sometimes and I am heavy and a heavy sweater . The weather turned and it grew worst . The first Dr said the dixopen , so I quit that . The next Dr said no to that and said it was topical . The next Dr said she had no idea , and offered no opinion or solution .My Pdoc said he hoped I felt better , but offered nothing else .

I have always known pdoc's are useless and now I believe the rest are too . So I am fending for myself . My liver tests except for the act (90) are back to normal though top end of scale . I has been app two months now . My color is beginning to return to normal . The whelps and "furrows" have reduced maybe 50% . The itching can now be controled with creams , the Dr's even got my insurance to double ( new rx ever two weeks instead of a month) so I could apply the higher doses I need . The over all sick feeling and drowseyness from the meds is lessened some lately .

Joseph Campbell my mentor stated years ago ( in my words) to be fully human one must embrace whatever and all that life brings us , to embrace joyfully the sorrows of this life , to say yes to it all ...

Well my friends I can say without any reservation I feel very human at this time . There are many ways we suffer from this damn disease . Some have all there is thrust upon them , some have it easier , like myself . But going thur what we do and doing our best to handle it . just shows we are truly human . Maybe more human that those not so afflicted . to suffer our own trials , then to reach to meds and pdoc's for help only to have more abuse from them and the side effects , seems more than a man (woman) should ever have to endure . But we do , we must , and it makes us more human for it ...

Although I would not wish anything such as (this disease bp) upon even my enemies you can take comfort if you can say yes to it all , and joyfully embrace it you will be rewarded with the knowledge you are truly the most human of us all .. and maybe reach that place where peace comes from . maybe even see that great mystery called life just a little clearer ...

be well my friends ... I love each and ever one of you ... may your God bless you and keep you safe ... Tigger ...

This is very sad, true and beautiful. We are human indeed. Thanks for pointing out the bright side in all this mess. I needed something like this badly right now as I feel the prickly sensation of sharp sadness approaching. I will remember your message and hold on to my humanity. (((Tigger)))

Tigger--I like your letter and I used to love watching Winnie the Pooh videos with my children. The stories were humorous, caring and calming

You have been on a very extreme journey. I am glad you are feeling a little less sick lately but it sounds like it is still challenging.

I like your thoughts about what it is to be human and how important it is to accept some of the things that we cannot change. Personally, I have never believed that there is a magical pill out there. We sometimes have to take the stuff but psych pharmaceuticals always seem to present unintended consequences and side effects. I hope your new dosages provide you with some relief from all your suffering. Sincerely, Myst

Tigger, much care and hugs to you.

Winnie the Pooh movies are the absolute sweetest!!! I adore them and used to watch with my kids too. I watched a pooh movie all by myself very recently. They give me warm fuzzy feelings.

Beautifully written....hugs!!