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#1
Nov 17, 2016, 08:49 PM
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Last night I attempted to do a runner from the hospital I am in due to high SI. I was very agitated, distraught, motivated and compelled. Thankfully, a nurse stopped me and talked to me. I broke down and wept more than I have in many months.
Now I am on close observations but feel great again, so it is weird. Maybe the meds are bringing me back up. IDK. See my pdoc round lunch so will be able to talk about it then. I want to go to the beach with my parents tomorrow so I am hoping to get leave to do so or I will go stir crazy in here. No SI today. back to happy. My mind is extraordinary.
__________________
Bipolar 1 with psychotic features PTSD  "Phew! For a minute there I lost myself." 'Karma Police' by Radiohead |
 Anonymous41403, Anonymous45023, Anonymous52845, Anonymous55397, BeyondtheRainbow, bizi, boogiesmash, Skeezyks, wildflowerchild25
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#2
Nov 17, 2016, 08:52 PM
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__________________
"I may be older but I am not wise / I'm still a child's grown-up disguise / and I never can tell you what you want to know / You will find out as you go." (from: "A Nightengale's Lullaby" - Julie Last) |
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#3
Nov 17, 2016, 09:08 PM
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Oh what a night you had. Glad you're ok. Maybe see about being put on a mood stabilizer. When I'm mixed or manic they always put me on depakote. It always helps level me out.
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| bizi
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#4
Nov 17, 2016, 09:19 PM
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I'm glad the nurse talked to you and you stayed.
__________________
Dx: Me- SzA Husband- Bipolar 1 Daughter- mood disorder+ Comfortable broken and happy "So I don't know why I'm tongue tied At the wrong time when I need this."- P!nk My blog |
| bizi
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#5
Nov 17, 2016, 09:23 PM
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Oh I see you are on a ms. I missed that...
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 bizi
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#6
Nov 17, 2016, 10:14 PM
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Hope you get to go to the beach and hope you are safe.
__________________
Lactimal 175 mg Pristiq 100 mg Gabapentin 1800 mg Klonopin 1mg. Major depression Social anxiety disorder |
| bizi
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#7
Nov 17, 2016, 10:15 PM
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Thanks everyone. Your support means so much to me. I am still heavily medicated and seem to be swinging low again but no SI at least. I hate this ***** illness. Just want to be stable and go home. If the nurse hadn't of caught me I am sure I would not be here. Today I am thankful she was but scared I might go into that headspace again soon.
__________________
Bipolar 1 with psychotic features PTSD "Phew! For a minute there I lost myself." 'Karma Police' by Radiohead |
| Anonymous45023, bizi
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#8
Nov 18, 2016, 12:25 AM
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Back in the dark. Asked nurses for help but they kept saying they were busy. What could be more f**** important that talking me down from suicide???? Send me wild again. I was going to run away again but instead complained in detail, crying to my eyes out and raging against the stupid system that stops nurses doing their job. I was angry that they hadn't come to see how I am today after last nights dramas.
The nurse was kind an apologetic and acknowledged they had failed me. I told him it was a miracle I wasn't dead. Feeling abandoned and let down are big triggers for me. I'm crying now. I want to live but feel compelled in the opposite direction. Nurses promised they would watch me now as they hadn't been before as they were supposed to. He also gave me meds to calm me down. I really hope I see my dr soon. I need help!
__________________
Bipolar 1 with psychotic features PTSD "Phew! For a minute there I lost myself." 'Karma Police' by Radiohead |
| Anonymous45023, Wild Coyote
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| Wild Coyote
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