Feel enraged and depressed-starting to feel dispair

I feel my emotions are valid. Or are they part of my BPD or bipolar?

I feel so enraged. Loud noises, over stimulation... it's too much.

Some days I feel I could sleep forever. Other days I don't want to go to bed. Don't want to take my seroquel to sleep. It's garbage pills that mess me up more.

I was depressed for over a week, now I feel depressed and MAD... like get out of my way. I'm afraid to do something I regret at work or at home.

Last night I laid it out for my partner who runs a non profit and hasn't been at home many nights of the week for an upcoming event.

I feel trapped. I feel invalidated. I'm pissed off all the time and I hate it. My body is always tired.

I work in Healthcare, come home, tidy house and then stew in my pool of self hatred and hatred for society and the fact that I'm not free. I can't just go out and hang with friends without days/a week of notice from my partner. She's going away this weekend and arranged things for some child care etc but I'm ****ing stuck here working and doing nothing but raging to myself.

I want to be alone and hibernate through the winter. I'm starting to have dark thoughtside.

Vitamins, Abilify, Seroquel etc aren't working or if they are I don't know what my issue is.

I watched Eat, Pray love and wanted to shout at the TV. **** Julia Roberts and her ability to go to Europe. That isn't feasible to anyone. No one can get up and just leave like that. Stupid movie.

Ugh. And I have no prn to help wjen I get ramped up pretty sure my partner wants to leave me and not come back. I don't blame her.

I'm sorry your meds aren't helping. Sounds like you may be having a mixed episode. Talk to your doctor. Maybe he can do something better with your meds.

I hope that the rage calms itself down and lets you have better days ahead of you.

I feel so much like you right now.
(((Hugs)))

I feel like that too.

I haven't watched Eat, Pray love because I'm certain I would react just as you are now. I'm on my monthly and feel the inner rage kindling and I'm doing my best to ride it out without snapping anyone's head off but if you see me with some hair hanging out my mouth I might have failed. It's hard. (((Hugs)))

I feel the same, but it's situational and I think I have a handle on it.

Thank you for all your support. I feel bad to anyone else going through this. I feel super *****y and not nice to be around yet also depressed.

Is that what people mean when they say "mixed"? I'm still new to bipolar and learning my cycles. It's not my menstrual time so it's not that. Wish it was then I could blame it on hormones.

I've been what my doctors call mixed for a few weeks. I have classic euphoric mania mixed with random thoughts of depressive and negative thoughts and a disphoric, agitated depression but euphoric mania comes back and they cycle back and forth. They called this mixed but I'd bet mixed can be different for everyone. I was considered mixed when I had agitated disphoric mania too. They just do there best to describe the mood phase and if it has elements of mania and depression simultaneously, it's called mix. But criteria might change from practitioner to practitioner.

I've been feeling somewhat the same way recently. Thankfully I have an appointment with my pdoc today and hopefully we can figure out if a med adjustment needs to be made. My life just seems to be such a wreck these days and I don't feel like I have anyone or anywhere to turn to.

Everything you say resonates with how I was feeling for sooooo long! It will get better