[bewise93]

I left for a vacation at my grandparents cabin in the middle of nowhere with a hypomanic episode. I was prescribed 10mg of zyprexa that night after I called my pdoc and took it that night. My hpomania disappeared the next day. Then, I was terribly depressed and anxious. I started reading my book to deal with depression. I keep having vivid pictures in my head of what I'm reading in the book. My older brother has some major issues and started yelling at me and calling me a loser with no job and no friends. I started crying and retreated to a secluded area of woods near a lake and read and read and read. I've read over 450 pages in the last two days. It keeps me from thinking anything negative. I usually never read. But I can't function normally now unless I read. It's almost like a vompulsion. And the depression kept taking over and I would feel suicidal and go into the woods and read. I just got home this morning and have been reading nonstop. I'm glad I found something I'm passionate about but not when it's a compulsion. I no longer want to be around people.I just want to read. After reading 50 pages I almost get euphoric. I had to stop and get dramamine when I was riding home in the car today because I kept reading and didn't want to stop even when I felt motion sickness. When I don't read for more than 2 hours, I feel very depressed. I hope I'm not turning into a weird hermit with no friends, but that's basically what I am.

[yellow_fleurs]

Could you be in a mixed episode do you think? Really focused, but depressed/suicidal and also euphoric and anxious makes me think it could be, though not sure about the fact that it feels like a compulsion to read. My mixed episodes often confuse and disorient me.

[bewise93]

I have been sleeping 10-12 hrs a night so I don't think so.

[yellow_fleurs]

Hmm not sure then, I will say I alternated between 2 and 14+ hours of sleep when I was in a mixed episode and how much I slept might have depended on if I was primarily depressed or hypomanic, but I am definitely not an expert. It definitely sounds like a confusing trip. Maybe talk to your pdoc or therapist. Please be careful and seek help if you need it.

[*Laurie*]

Keep in mind that medication can cause you to sleep more than you would otherwise.
Mixed states seem to plague me a lot and whatever state I'm in - even manic - I still feel sleepy a lot of the time. I figure that medication causes the sleepiness.

[pirilin]

Confusing indeed. I'm so confused that I couldn't pick up a sentence. At least not with any sintaxis.
It's a confusing world out there. Specially with other people in it.
Maybe It's genetic. But I was born confused, and will be confused forever.