[Moose72]

This is extremely triggering. Read at your own discretion.

This is ONE report on me in the psych ER. Sobering.

10/28/2015
Suicide ideation with a plan: Consumer denies

Danger to Others Worksheet

Severe anxiety symptoms/agitation
Employment instability
Impulsivity
Lack of insight
Currently manic or depressed or psychotic
Relationship instability
Lack of social support

Static Risk Factors

Low socioeconomic status

Agrssive or destructive behaviors

None

4/20/2015
Dynamic Risk Factors
-Severe anhedonia
-Severe depression
-Hopelessness
-Suicide ideation or intent
-Suicide plan

Static Risk Factors

-Mood disorder
-Psychotic disorder
-History of suicide attempts


Agressive or Destructive Behavior

-Suicide Attempt
-Suicide ideation

4/20/15z;: Clt endorses SI w/plan to overdose on prescription and OTC medications. Clt reports two aborted suicide attempts earlier this evewning, one in which she had 30 benedryl in her hand ready to take but decide4d not to and once swhe had 50 zyprexa in hand. Clt was unable to contract for safety with this writer when a crisis plan was attempted.

9/16/15: Clt endorses SI w/plan to jump from balcony or crash car. Clt reports that early today she was standing leaning over the balcony for "awhile" contemplating jumping. Clt mention s that she thought she may be able to fly and if not she was aware this would probably kill her and reports "I was ok with that as long as I didn't have to fell like this anymore"

[leejosepho]

I have had a few times when things on my charts have bothered me, but the worst was when a nurse in a combination detox and psych-crisis intervention unit where I worked as a nurses' aid once suggested I read some psych books to better-understand some of our clients. I was still not always stable myself at the time, but she was understanding and did not press the matter when I told her I found those books troubling.

Glad to know you also can handle those kinds of things much better today!

[Moose72]

Originally Posted by leejosepho

I have had a few times when things on my charts have bothered me, but the worst was when a nurse in a combination detox and psych-crisis intervention unit where I worked as a nurses' aid once suggested I read some psych books to better-understand some of our clients. I was still not always stable myself at the time, but she was understanding and did not press the matter when I told her I found those books troubling.

Glad to know you also can handle those kinds of things much better today!

I remember the times this is referencing, but to see it from their side? it makes it so much more serious than I thought at the time. Of course, I was having an episode so....

[leejosepho]

Originally Posted by Moose72

...to see it from their side? it makes it so much more serious than I thought at the time. Of course, I was having an episode so....

Your word "sobering" without freaking out is the impressive part of all of that, and especially when some of those observations can sound so clinically-cold or whatever. The observations of others can be helpful for overall perspective, and especially when coming from people who actually care.

(((Hugs)))

Sometimes it's like I'm cushioned from the true gravity of the illness I have and how I appear to others at times. Then other times I see it clearly and it knocks me for a loop and makes me realize how dangerous my situation is. I want to read my file in the future but cannot deal with it now. You are brave and I hope you are okay now. (((Hugs)))

[Moose72]

I got a copy of my file as part of my disability case (what they were sent). I just picked this page out of the middle. I put it in my blog too.

You're right that you read it and it knocks you for a loop- like "is that me?". And I heard drs have to word things in a certain way so insurance will pay adding another confusing layer to all this.

(((Hugs)))

I've been taken against my will while telling them and believing I was fine. I doubt they had nice things to write and I just cannot even deal with reading what they may have said. I plan to comb through my records some day and have then put in corrections where I see fit because I honestly don't trust them one bit. One time I told my doctor I planned to fight the 51/50 and he said "good luck but based on what all the doctors who saw you said, I don't think you stand much of a chance". I'm interested in seeing what they wrote but not in a healthy enough place to handle it. (((Hugs)))

[Moose72]

I find it really interesting to read- especially since lately I feel perfectly fine.

[~Christina]

You always have little insight into just how bad you are when your unwell.

I'm glad you reached out that night

((( hugs )))

[Moose72]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

You always have little insight into just how bad you are when your unwell.

I'm glad you reached out that night

((( hugs )))

I can't remember if that time I was hospitalized.

You're right- I always think nothing is wrong, even in the midst of psychosis or SI. Which reminds me, I got a letter from the hospital re: the last time I was in for the OD saying none of it was necessary! It also said, "This is not a bill", but I hope one doesn't come! How can they say I didn't need to be hospitalized?