Avoidance as a coping mechanism.

It seems that I'm avoiding everything in order to avoid stress or an episode.
This is a terrible way to live.
I've got to find a solution.
I used to get addicted to motivation tapes. And stuff like The 4 agreements.
The secret. Right now I can't get anything out of it.
What works for you?

The Secret is cool.

I avoid too. When stuff is too overwhelming, it's the smartest and safest decision. Some people survive by being warriors and conquering.....others survive simply because they know how to hide. If I can't handle something, I can't handle it. Once I'm well enough, then I can add responsibilities a little at a time.

Prozac is a med I've never been on. Or Xanax.

I used to be the former (or I at least thought I was), but I have since learned my only shot at stress reduction for survival today is through avoidance or at least postponement until a better-suited day.

Most of the time I survive by being a chameleon. I just blend into the background and try to avoid being noticed. I'm not always well enough to do this but I find it's the most effective way to make it through this world when I'm centered enough to accomplish it.

I guess when I was younger I managed my manic episodes to work. Build. Have businesses.
Then I started to get mixed states and the manic drove the depression to attempted suicide
Now I'm depleted. No emotional energy.
I don't know what to expect from the future.

Also took 2 years to bounce back from the ECT

Yes, same here, and I definitely avoid things with overtly-emotional demands...kind of Spock-like. Vulcans actually do have emotions but have set intellect and logic above them.

Funny though. I used to feed on drama. Emotional highs and go-go- go.
Maybe age is a factor. And menopause.
But that would be sad.

I try to avoid stressors too.

Sometimes I take "chances" to see how far I can push myself. Some of my experiments have failed; others have succeeded. But I think taking chances is the only way to know what is and isn't a trigger. It's also the only way to live (IMO). Life is about risks! (What fun is life without risks?)

I say, do what you want to do. Don't let stressors hold you back. You want to enjoy life to the fullest. Sure, sometimes experiments might not work out, but nothing in life is perfect.

Understood and agreed, and especially as we grow a little wiser or more rightly-selective-for-oneself along the way.