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Old Dec 12, 2016, 06:20 AM
Icare dixit's Avatar
Icare dixit Icare dixit is offline
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Member Since: Feb 2016
Location: A version of earth
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No depression today!!

Hope tomorrow will be just like it.

I was denying being depressed and it made me pretty much lose all hope, thinking it was something more systemic, more constitutive, an irreversible change.

Have you ever denied being depressed, only to discover later that you were?

I do that a lot. There are two types of depression superimposed at times and it makes it very confusing. There are four types of contrast: polar (mania <-> severe depression), depressive (mild <-> severe depression) and two types with (relative) stability (two types: high anxiety and confusion and without, the former invariably following the latter).

As an aside, do you also experience really two types of depression?
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Mania kills cells. Brain cells die. Memories become more reduced conceptually, making more efficient use of limited means. Memories shape our reality. Our memories are more or less split in two by abstractions, conceptual reductions. Mood states with memories, concepts, attached. Memories of pain and those of joy. It causes instability, changeability. Fearing that will leave an emptiness between pain and joy and a greater divide.
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  #2  
Old Dec 12, 2016, 08:04 AM
JustJace2u's Avatar
JustJace2u JustJace2u is offline
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Member Since: May 2016
Location: Chicago
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I've done that. Eventually I gave in and was honest with my t and pdoc. Unfortunately, it eventually landed me IP because things had gotten so bad.
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Dx: BP2 and MDD

Current meds: 100mg Wellbutrin; 200mg Lamictal; 400mg Seroquel at night; Xanax 1mg/PRN; 100mg/PRN Trazodone at night for insomnia
Diagnosed in May 2016


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  #3  
Old Dec 12, 2016, 08:23 AM
Anonymous35014
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When I first sought help in university, I didn't believe I was depressed. I thought it was a lie. It's because I was so used to feeling depressed that I thought it was just my personality.

And yeah, I experience two types of depression, but 99% of the time it's a sad depression, as opposed to an apathetic, "non-sad" depression.
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Thanks for this!
Icare dixit
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