[Moreta]

This has been bothering me lately. NOT EVERYTHING IS A SYMPTOM OF YOU MENTAL ILLNESS. I wish people would stop blaming everything on said MI that they have. The best thing that my therapist told me was that her partner told her "you're not BP you're just an *** hole." I can work on not being an *** hole. Which is what I've been doing. ffs people stop hiding behind the illness and stop blaming everything on it. It's normal for moods to fluctuate. I'm stable even though I'm not happy 100% of the time. I still have situational anxiety, but even normal people would have a bit of anxiety in those situations.

ALSO, stop being passive aggressive. It gets you nowhere and usually enrages the person that it's directed at. I swear to god every time someone is passive aggressive I just want to play them the Placebo song Passive Aggressive. It really serves no purpose. UNLESS you really want to manipulate a person. HAHA. I mean god damn, when my mom's been doing it to me lately I've been confronting her. IT FEELS SO GOOD. I hate that ****. You're not going to **** on my happy parade with your ********. IT IS NOT MY JOB TO MAKE YOU HAPPY. It's my job to make myself happy. I need to make sure I'm stable, then I might help with you're problems. I'm not biting anymore. IF said person wants to wallow in their crap after getting advice and they're still wallowing, I have nothing to say to said person.

Sorry just needed to rant. I am now a calm Moreta again. hahahaha

[~Christina]

Thank you so much for this !!!! Well said (((( hugs )))))

I do see your point from the perspective that everything is not a mental illness. Some things are personality disorders or just messed up people but I'd say mental health issues are under diagnosed to great detriment.

Dare I ask who all the people are that are doing what you say? People you see often? This sounds like it happens constantly to you and it sounds like it makes you very upset. I hope you can find resolution to your dilemma. (((Hugs)))

[Tamster]

Mo,
I agree it seems like many ppl do blame their MI for every little thing, I was anxious yesterday it bothered me but it never crossed my mind that my MI caused it , i knew it was some stress i was under and that too would pass. Like you said normal situational stress, maybe I could have coped better but I am learning new coping strategies now, also not because of MI but because i need to learn them for my life to improve and grow.
hats off to you Mo, good job, Tams

[Moreta]

Originally Posted by ElsaMars

I do see your point from the perspective that everything is not a mental illness. Some things are personality disorders or just messed up people but I'd say mental health issues are under diagnosed to great detriment.

Dare I ask who all the people are that are doing what you say? People you see often? This sounds like it happens constantly to you and it sounds like it makes you very upset. I hope you can find resolution to your dilemma. (((Hugs)))

I think you missed the whole point of this post. You're saying now things are blamed on personality disorders. Not everyone has a personality disorder. I know I don't. Yes some people are just messed up. Out of 7 Billion people there's people without MI or personality disorders.

This is more about managing your illness and taking ownership about your behavior. Stuff happens and you have to deal with it. I got where I am today by a lot of therapy, a lot of meds, and a lot of hard work. I even have self help books that I reference. You have to want to get better. Nobody is going to give you an easy way to do it. I've been dealing with this bull **** for 16 years now, been doing research the whole time. It's why I do the bipolar chat :P. Having a MI is a learning experience and you can NEVER stop learning about it. So many new things are discovered every year. DON'T settle. You can manage this illness.

Originally Posted by Moreta

I think you missed the whole point of this post. You're saying now things are blamed on personality disorders. Not everyone has a personality disorder. I know I don't. Yes some people are just messed up. Out of 7 Billion people there's people without MI or personality disorders.

This is more about managing your illness and taking ownership about your behavior. Stuff happens and you have to deal with it. I got where I am today by a lot of therapy, a lot of meds, and a lot of hard work. I even have self help books that I reference. You have to want to get better. Nobody is going to give you an easy way to do it. I've been dealing with this bull **** for 16 years now, been doing research the whole time. It's why I do the bipolar chat :P. Having a MI is a learning experience and you can NEVER stop learning about it. So many new things are discovered every year. DON'T settle. You can manage this illness.

I completely agree! I had some really difficult PTSD to deal with too. I managed to get through both with a lot of hard work. It can be done. I'm stable now, have been for almost 2 yrs. I did it. Now just have to work on the physical pain....

[Gus1234U]

i don't usually follow, or post in this thread. but i 'had' a bipolar brain chemistry disorder, and even when i (healed it) got it in remission, i still had problems that i had to work on,,, anger issues, stress damage from all the crap that went on while i was unabled.

it's never too late to take stock of one's physical, emotional, intellectual and social resources , as well as the challenges one faces, and keep improving.

best wishes, all~

[venusss]

Well... we want a blameless sociezy where nobody is asshole or evil.... they are just ill. Well unless they are of weird religion or from sketch part of the town or world.

Bipolar ex machina mystical chemical imbalance for which there is no test is perfect for this. It is elusive magical imbalance chemicals that jerk your tongue and mouth and make you say ****** things',they move your fingers to pull out your credit card and spend you to debt,they even throw your body onto strangers causing lotsa sexy sex.

Makes total sense,right?

[Moogieotter]

Thanks Mo. I am glad we're friends.

Did you guys know that Mo makes exquisite custom jewelry on the cheap?

moogs

[emgreen]

It's not my BP. It's just my job to be an a-hole, so you all can't be a-holes, too. Besides, I'm so much better at it than you are.

Thanks for posting this, Mo.

Originally Posted by Moreta

I think you missed the whole point of this post. You're saying now things are blamed on personality disorders. Not everyone has a personality disorder. I know I don't. Yes some people are just messed up. Out of 7 Billion people there's people without MI or personality disorders.

This is more about managing your illness and taking ownership about your behavior. Stuff happens and you have to deal with it. I got where I am today by a lot of therapy, a lot of meds, and a lot of hard work. I even have self help books that I reference. You have to want to get better. Nobody is going to give you an easy way to do it. I've been dealing with this bull **** for 16 years now, been doing research the whole time. It's why I do the bipolar chat :P. Having a MI is a learning experience and you can NEVER stop learning about it. So many new things are discovered every year. DON'T settle. You can manage this illness.

Actually I do think I'm missing the whole point of the post and am not sure what's going on. Who was your post directed to? As you didn't send it directly to the person who seems to be upsetting you, your post could be viewed as passive aggressive which is something you appear not to like in other people.

Who is doing all this blaming of stuff that isn't BP related on BP? I can tell you are proud not to be among them but it does appear these people are effecting you a great deal.

I manage my illness pretty well and have done tons of research. I don't assume others don't. I take care of my illness and try and manage my symptoms.

I read the post to a few other people to make sure I was seeing thing accurately. I wonder what kind of paranoia a post like this could cause. A yes, paranoia is mental illness related and something people with BP often experience.

[Gus1234U]

are you bragging, or complaining, Elsa ?? I can't tell~~~

Originally Posted by Gus1234U

are you bragging, or complaining, Elsa ?? I can't tell~~~

I am expressing my feelings Gus. What about my post came across as bragging in comparison to the post which was originally made?

Originally Posted by ElsaMars

Actually I do think I'm missing the whole point of the post and am not sure what's going on. Who was your post directed to? As you didn't send it directly to the person who seems to be upsetting you, your post could be viewed as passive aggressive which is something you appear not to like in other people.

Who is doing all this blaming of stuff that isn't BP related on BP? I can tell you are proud not to be among them but it does appear these people are effecting you a great deal.

I manage my illness pretty well and have done tons of research. I don't assume others don't. I take care of my illness and try and manage my symptoms.

I read the post to a few other people to make sure I was seeing thing accurately. I wonder what kind of paranoia a post like this could cause. A yes, paranoia is mental illness related and something people with BP often experience.

Elsa, I -think- what Moreta was trying to say is basically that just because someone has a mental illness, doesn't mean they can act like a butt munch and then just say "oh, it wasn't my fault, it was -insert diagnosis here-". At least, that's what I got from her post and I can certainly agree with that.

Yes, I can agree with that too and did. I see things differently. If you take a person who is a chronic jerk or butt wipe for instance and you say "this person is just an a-hole" that is not actually accurate in a lot of cases. When you peel back the layers of the person you usually DO find something which caused the issue and created the pattern of behavior in this person. If you put this person in a mental health setting and work through there issues they improve. Therefore I do see mental illness as rampant and I do believe people who are azzholes probably, usuallycould seriously benefit from treatment for the issue.

And BP does make me an azzholes sometimes..that's not blame that's fact. If I were highly depressed and I came across a post like this I would feel it was directly about me....I already knew I was just an azz....now this support forum I come to confirms it and I should just die. When in fact it was my mental illness causing the behavior, not simply being an azzhole. I worry about people and how this could make them feel.

Azzholes should get treatment just like the rest of us. I doubt they are going to get any better by just deciding they are an azzhole and leaving it be. It's rarely a problem which resolves on its own.

[Moreta]

Can I not just rant about something that's bothering me? Everyone else does it on this board.

[venusss]

Originally Posted by Moreta

Can I not just rant about something that's bothering me? Everyone else does it on this board.

rant away. It's welcome step up from whining or talking about Christmas actually.

Originally Posted by Moreta

Can I not just rant about something that's bothering me? Everyone else does it on this board.

I think it's OK to rant, and saw nothing wrong with your post, to be honest.

If someone read your post and felt offended, then maybe that person needs to look at themselves honestly and ask themselves why. Maybe there is some internal work that needs to be done.

[bioChE]

No problem with the post or the intervening discussion. This board is largely what we make of it. Differing opinions are the spice, the secret sauce.

[Coconutzo]

I notice myself falling into this a trap, less as an excuse for bad behavior and more as anxiety. I'll notice something that could be symptomatic and freak out that my stability is slipping. It's like walking on eggshells. It's also a sort of self protective paranoia.
As for using it to excuse bad behavior, I don't. Not even when the behavior IS caused by my illness. I still own up to it, and I apologize to my loved ones. I still take the time to set things right. We have a responsibility to care for the people around us when our issues negatively impact them. Bipolar is never a pass. It can explain things but never excuse them. As much as we need compassion for our struggles, our partners,our friends, and our families do too.

Originally Posted by Moreta

Can I not just rant about something that's bothering me? Everyone else does it on this board.

Of course you can. I was just giving another side. Is that okay or do you prefer I not do so in your thread?

[Gabyunbound]

I think, anyway, that you're referring to the anger and irritability side of MI. I do think that, when it comes to BP (and maybe other MI) anger and irritability are not always caused by the illness (I agree with ElsaMars that it needs working on, regardless, but it may well not be BP). I think always blaming such behaviors on BP can impede someone from getting help with the primary problem (i.e. anger and/or being a jerk, if you like). I'm also all for apologizing for behavior even if it is due to BP. Even if it is, you feel badly that you hurt someone, right? If only after the fact. I think it can go a long way, but if you think you can't work on these things, that it's truly entirely out of your control, I'm not sure that's going to happen.

I think part of the problem is the shame we may all feel that such behavior may not be due to BP and this can impede taking responsibility. If there weren't so much shame associated with it, I think people would be more likely to take responsibility for their behavior.

[Icare dixit]

There's no mental illness.