[st0psign]

So my cousin was my best friend. until a few months ago when he started dating a girl he knew I had a crush on. he even asked me if I was okay with it, I said no, if you do this it will cause problems with our relationship. he went ahead and carried on with what he was doing with her, and they're still together. I went ape **** on him shortly after we had the are you okay with this talk. and now we aren't speaking at all.

Now he also dumped his previous girlfriend shortly before this all started. and he wasn't good to her at all. treated her like ****, emotionally abusive, and she did nothing to deserve the treatment she got, and I saw a lot.

Well about a week ago his ex posted something on facebook about being best friends with your cousin. I made a comment on the post insinuating that he and I were having big problems and not talking. well she texted maybe a day after I made the post, and we've been talking daily since then, like talking all day. and I've had a thing for her since the first time I saw her. I remember what she was wearing the first time I saw her.

well tonight I told her I liked her, and why I liked her. because my cousin and I were so close we hung out a lot, so I know her pretty well already. now I know if my cousin and I were still talking this would be a no no, but since we aren't speaking (and I don't think I can ever forgive him for the choice he made) I'm not finding any problems with moving forward on this venture with her.

my cousin decided a chance with a girl was worth risking and losing the relationship he had with his best friend, and he treated her like ****, and she was nothing but good to him.

now Monday night I didn't sleep at all, and its now 20 to 2am and I'm not tired at all, I'll be lucky if I sleep tonight. so I might be a bit on the manic side, and I just don't want to do anything stupid..

It's a totally messed up situation, I just wanted to get some thoughts on this from you peeps. and sorry for the pretty long post.

[Artchic528]

Part of me wants to say "Turnabout is fair play" and to go for it. However, doing so will only deepen the rift between you and your cousin. I wouldn't want you to do something that will end any chance of reconciliation between you two.

Then again, the two aren't dating anymore and she is available, so yeah. Also, don't just date her to get back at your cousin, it's not fair to her to be the revenge girl. She's already been treated poorly by him, if your post is anything to go by. Only date her if you truly are interested.

[Panyo]

You're both adults I assume. But be careful, don't date her to get back at him. And make sure you're okay with maybe makimg your relationship with your cousin even worse .

[st0psign]

my interest is in her, not revenge. and I just don't see reconciliation happening. everyone in the family wants us to though, and its sitting on my shoulders to do so. and right now I don't see it happening... ever. I was attracted to her before they even got together. its def not a revenge thing. I wouldn't put someone in that situation, it wouldn't be fair to her. and she's like the sweetest girl in the world.

[leejosepho]

Originally Posted by st0psign

my interest is in her, not revenge. and I just don't see reconciliation happening.

Does the new relationship have the same potential for being permanent?

[luvyrself]

Originally Posted by st0psign

So my cousin was my best friend. until a few months ago when he started dating a girl he knew I had a crush on. he even asked me if I was okay with it, I said no, if you do this it will cause problems with our relationship. he went ahead and carried on with what he was doing with her, and they're still together. I went ape **** on him shortly after we had the are you okay with this talk. and now we aren't speaking at all.

Now he also dumped his previous girlfriend shortly before this all started. and he wasn't good to her at all. treated her like ****, emotionally abusive, and she did nothing to deserve the treatment she got, and I saw a lot.

Well about a week ago his ex posted something on facebook about being best friends with your cousin. I made a comment on the post insinuating that he and I were having big problems and not talking. well she texted maybe a day after I made the post, and we've been talking daily since then, like talking all day. and
I've had a thing for her since the first time I saw her. I remember what she was wearing the first time I saw her.

well tonight I told her I liked her, and why I liked her. because my cousin and I were so close we hung out a lot, so I know her pretty well already. now I know if my cousin and I were still talking this would be a no no, but since we aren't speaking (and I don't think I can ever forgive him for the choice he made) I'm not finding any problems with moving forward on this venture with her.

my cousin decided a chance with a girl was worth risking and losing the relationship he had with his best friend, and he treated her like ****, and she was nothing but good to him.

now Monday night I didn't sleep at all, and its now 20 to 2am and I'm not tired at all, I'll be lucky if I sleep tonight. so I might be a bit on the manic side, and I
just don't want to do anything stupid..

It's a totally messed up situation, I just wanted to get some thoughts on this
from you peeps. and sorry for the pretty long post.

--------response. Lovers even spouses come and go, but our deepest friendships can last a lifetime. If it were me, id try to heal the relationship w your cousin, maybe after a cooling off period. He was sort of a jerk, thinking w his hormones, but were all idiots sometimes. Hugs!

Most people spend their lives looking for their "mate". It's a big part of the human experience for many of us.

When we were in our teens, my best friend used to "call dibs" as soon as we met guys. Often these guys didn't want to date her but since she called dibs, she felt that none of us could date them either. Now she's in her 40's and constantly tells her son's "you can't call dibs on people. She grew up and learned. I don't blame you for not respecting your cousin if he's abusive towards women. But for dating a girl you liked, I hope you will learn to forgive him. You should date this girl if you like her. Life is too short for grudges.

Now if she and your cousin were married and had just divorced and had kids....I would be saying something a little different. But when you are young, enjoy yourself and meet and date and fall in love and make time of friends. This is what will make the hard times of life worth it. (((Hugs)))