Recovering from Psychotic Break

13 days into my recovery, well since I broke out of the psychosis, and I am feeling relatively good. My mood is stable but I am extremely exhausted both mentally and psychically. Each day I have set myself tasks around my flat and caught up with friends or family. I have also spent a lot of downtime online, listening to music or watching TV. Happy with my minimalist med regime and finally sleeping 7-8 hours a night. Seeing my pdoc and T tomorrow which will be great to touch base and really see how I am going. Thanks so much for all your support.

I'll share my most recent experience, maybe it'll make you feel better:

It wasn't a psychotic break quite yet for me but another huge episode of mania. Heck at one point felt like was going to hear peoples thoughts. Felt so high, just kept running and shopping. Spent $27K. Lost 30lbs. Went down to size 000. Size zero was baggy. Became a lingerie model for a few weeks and got fired for getting too drunk on the job.

If you think that was bad - it was just the culminating point that finally when crashed brought me to take and accept medical help. Was refusing a bipolar diagnosis for years. Was first diagnosed when was checked-in to the psych ward @ age 20. But back then to me buying a car for Oprah wasn't manic. Back then it was a mere foolish, OTC mood enhancer induced poor decision. But as the highs and lows have racked up throughout the years and foolish decisions right along them, the illness brought me to my knees and I have finally accepted I have an illness.

Have broken relationships. Lack of employment. My career staggered. Can't even count the number of jobs have tried keeping. My mouth is horrible, I've said horrible things to people, for which am very sorry. Am single. The only thing good that came out of my recent episode is a dog. I purchased a dog, which now forces me to leave the apartment in the mornings for his walk, as obviously now am suffering depression and shame along with bills bigger than can handle.

Don't know if I should apply for work or disability or both at this point. My treatment just began.
Though haven't suffered a full psychotic episode, feel like the last decade of my life is one big psychotic episode. Just ups and downs, ups and downs. I don't know what it means to be "normal", or how to define a normative state within myself quite yet, and with a fresh diagnosis which I now accept along with the medication trials and tribulations, it still feels surreal that me, an educated, "intelligent" person, doesn't seem to know when reality slips through my fingers...

BTW...you should be very proud of your successes in school and all of the progress you've made. I truly admire and have great faith in you!

Wow, thanks so much Cash. Really means a lot to me. I honestly have no idea how I went so well in school while so unwell. I did work hard and made the most of well or hypomanic times. In my exam I had a tiny grip on reality still left so I must have been able to tap into that.