[earthangel1]

I was stressed today. I didn't talk to anybody, barely ate anything, didn't even smoke many cigarettes. I didn't want to leave the room. It's week one of Zoloft.

Possible trigger:

I decided it was time to end myself. As I was about to carry out my plan, it was like my dad who died when I was 7 was saying to me, "Ben, be brave. This too shall pass." I got down and put everything back where it belonged.

And then I started to have some positive thinking. I started to realize that I have a place in this world, even though it seems dark now. Tonight, I'm going to go to bed early. I start a new job in two days, ugh. I don't know how I'll handle it, but somehow I will. I am going to try to defeat this dark side, even though I don't know how. Today has not been a good day. But tomorrow, it's a brand new day. The new year didn't start out well, but it's a new year. I know thins will change eventually. Either I will get a medication regimen that works, or I will learn to cope with this depression. I'm choosing to believe things will get better, even though every bone in my body wants to tell me otherwise. It's a new year, and I think this new year will be a good year.

[Moose72]

I'd give Zoloft time to work and I'd call your Pdoc about what you've typed here. They may want to do some med tweaking.

I'm glad you said no to suicide.

[Sad Mermaid]

So well written! All the best to you in 2017.

[raspberrytorte]

Thank you for sharing this.

[ThunderGoddess]

You are amazing and inspiring

[strugglingpgh]

Good luck in 2017! Stay strong - so glad you said "no" to suicide. Love your positive thinking.

[pirilin]

Positive thinking. Nothing better. With the possible exception of laughter. Good luck.

Originally Posted by earthangel1

I was stressed today. I didn't talk to anybody, barely ate anything, didn't even smoke many cigarettes. I didn't want to leave the room. It's week one of Zoloft.

Possible trigger:

I decided it was time to end myself. As I was about to carry out my plan, it was like my dad who died when I was 7 was saying to me, "Ben, be brave. This too shall pass." I got down and put everything back where it belonged.

And then I started to have some positive thinking. I started to realize that I have a place in this world, even though it seems dark now. Tonight, I'm going to go to bed early. I start a new job in two days, ugh. I don't know how I'll handle it, but somehow I will. I am going to try to defeat this dark side, even though I don't know how. Today has not been a good day. But tomorrow, it's a brand new day. The new year didn't start out well, but it's a new year. I know thins will change eventually. Either I will get a medication regimen that works, or I will learn to cope with this depression. I'm choosing to believe things will get better, even though every bone in my body wants to tell me otherwise. It's a new year, and I think this new year will be a good year.

(((((earth angel))))

that's good you got that moment and decided not to take your life

these moments of inspiration/ wizdom happen when you least expect it

happy 2017

[gina_re]

So inspiring, thank you for sharing!

[Unrigged64072835]

Thank you for changing your mind and looking in a more positive direction.

[Wild Coyote]

Thanks for sharing. It takes courage to share. It takes courage to face life.


WC

[JustJace2u]

Thank you for sharing this. My hope is that this year I can get the coping skills needed in order to keep my SIs at bay, as I'll be damned if I have to spend more time in the hospital. I'm trying hard to learn to accept myself for who I am and what I've done, and although I've made progress, I still have a lifelong road ahead, as many of us do I'm sure. I am grateful for places like this site where I feel more at ease with sharing what it is I'm feeling, without feeling as if I'm being judged or looked down upon.

[Fuzzybear]

[zijax]

Thanks for those words