My asshole ex won't let me get my little guy

My little guy was home sick with me for 2 days this week. I sent him to school today because he seemed fine and his fever has been gone since last night.

Ex gets him from school...He has a fever and threwup.

It is so,so damn hard to not be able to take of my little boy. His dad is also BP hyper only. He isn't exactly the nurturer. He is just an asshole most of the time. Why doesn't he see that little kids need their mom when they're sick?

So upset. And in the middle of a depressive episode.

Ugh. So angry and feel so bad for my boy.

I'm sure some of you can relate

It's hard anytime you can't take care of your kid. It's what any good parent wants to do, mom or dad. I can't speak for the personal relationships between your son and each of you, but I hope he can at least find comfort in your ex's care.

Also, more for my own knowledge, if someone is bipolar, but manic only, does the that just make them manic? That seems like saying a depressed person is bipolar, even though they only have depression.

Hang in there. Things change when you least expect it.

Someone can be unipolar depressed or manic. There was a lot of talk about this during the election, when people discussed Trump's need for less sleep than most. People also say the same thing about Bill Clinton, that he seems to be in a constant state of hypomania.

No idea if either of those is true, but it makes sense that if someone can have unipolar depression then others can have unipolar hypo/mania. It wouldn't be called BP at that point.

I know how you feel, my asshole ex has custody of my kids and won't let me see them unless I take a two hour bus trip to his town, even though he has a car and I have to take the bus. And holidays? yea forget it. I can't wait a year and half my youngest will be 18 and plans to move in with me. My kids have even gotten into fights with the ex because they want to see me, it hurts but I just keep holding on, his time will come to an end soon enough. Be gentle with yourself hun

Sorry your having to deal with such a parent like your ex. Hopefully you will see you child when the weekend is over.

I don't know the laws in New Jersey are, but a child in Texas can decide which parent they want to live with at age 12.

Thank you all for your support. I am so sorry some of you, like me have to deal with a vindictive ez and his crazy family. I swallow my pride, and so what he says constantly so we keep the peace. He will get pissy around my aon. He is hypermanic almost 100 percent of the time. He drives recklessly, acts recklessly, etc. He is one of the "I don't wanna be medicated because I like being this way" people. If he can't start taking medicine for our son, he never will. My son's how he is as well. He is always begging me not to tell his dad about certain things. Cayden (my little guy) and I have such a close relationship. He knows he can tell me anything and I won't tell his dad. For all my BP, depression, mood swings, etc. I am the stable parent. I seem to be able to transform when I'm around him so that he doesn't know anything is wrong with me. My 17yo knows. I've explained all of it

So sorry! I should probably post this to the board and maybe it can give someone else in my situation comfort knowing they're not alone.

I do a lot of praying.

I think (don't quote me lol) that the actual law in New Jersey is 16, I know the age of consent is 16. Even if it's not I know that the judges in NJ listen to what the child wants if the child is 14 or older and usually will grant custody to whichever parent the child wants to live with, as long as the parent is a fit parent. And that's my problem, my ex went around telling everyone that I cut (accordingly to him, VERY badly, which is a lie, it's scratches at the most)that I have uncontrolled Bipolar Disorder (another lie) and can't even take care of myself, never-mind my daughter. He also went around telling everyone that I am an alcoholic (if I drink twice a year it's a lot for me) and a drug addict because I (in the past) abuse the prescription pain medication. What really sucks is that he doesn't have to prove this stuff, I have to PROVE HE'S WRONG, it's not fair. And I don't want to drag my daughter into the fight and he would, he loves to use the kids as pawns, to have control over me. But I hope to get a 2 bdrm apt soon and if I do, I am going to go for custody of my daughter because yesterday she told me that she got into an argument with her father and when she tried to deescalate it by going into her room, he followed and raised his hand like he was going to hit her. He has never hit the kids before but he has hit me in the past, I think the only reason why he didn't hit her was because is gf got him to leave the room and go cool down.

My daughter and I have the same exact relationship, she's 16 and tells me everything.

It's good to hear that you have that sort of relationship with your son. When I was his age I pretty much hated my parents.

I have a son too and my ex is kind of the same. I know it's hard to be away from your child when they're sick. It's a mothers nature to need to take care of their children. I really suggest you take a deep breath and continue to get updates about it. If he doesn't get better you might want to go further and try to pick him up. It all depends on your custody agreement. I stand with you but try to relax. I know it's terrible, its happened to me. Take time for yourself for ten minutes and continue to get updates. It will be okay. If you need to speak with someone I'm always here. Breathe.