Hi everyone. I'm hoping some of you can shed some light, opinions or personal experiences on this.

As some of you may know, I deal with chronic pain and sickness. I feel like I have the worst flu everyday. I've been diagnosed with fibromyalgia and a few other disorders which all seem to fall into the fibromyalgia symptom list.

When I became sick, showers became difficult for me. It's physically draining to shower and I usually feel like I've ran a Boston marathon by the time I'm finished. I always need to rest after and rebuild strength. Sometimes it's so bad that my legs turn into mush, I can't catch my breath and feel I will faint of my legs which wobble like crazy will give out.

Lately I've had a shower "phobia" of sorts and my husband comes into the room which makes me feel VERY safe. I had a doctors appointment a few days ago and had to shower beforehand. I'm feeling very sick recently and really struggled in the shower. My legs almost gave out, my breathing was so rapid and I could not catch a breath. I had to get out before rinsing and sit on the toilet until the shaking stopped and I could catch my breath. My husband said "I think you are having a panic attack". I did feel pressure to get ready and I did feel sick but I wasn't in a "panic" about it. But I think he was right....I do think it was a panic attack.

I'm always questioning how much my constant sickness is caused by mental health vs a physical issue. At the end of the day it doesn't much matter as the brain controls mental illness as well as pain signals from physical issues but it does make a difference on how I'm going to get this treated once and for all.

I have a pretty major amount of stress in my life from an outside perspective. A chronically sick child with very serious Crohn's disease as well as a child with aspergers. My husband was physically attacked on the job and needed emergency neck surgery and is now disabled. The list goes on and on. Sure I worry but I don't feel I "panic" and yet I get symptoms of panic attack without the actual worry which you'd assume would be involved.

When I was hospitalized last, and was pretty delusional my blood pressure was through the roof. I didn't know I was panicking but in hindsight I believe I was.

The shower attacks happen frequently with varying severity. Do you believe what I describe is a panic attack or do you feel it's likely from being sick and over exerting myself? I know we are not doctors so this is all guess work but I'd like to know your opinions. To recap the symptoms I experience in the shower are lightheaded, shaking, my legs wobble so bad they give out and I can't catch my breath.

Thanks for taking the time to read and I hope someone has some experience or helpful advise.

[BeyondtheRainbow]

My first thought would be a shower chair with a handheld shower head on a hose. Then it's not so physically demanding and if you do panic you can sit and deal with it. You can get them at drugstores, Walmart, Amazon........It might also alleviate pain and fatigue that you are dreading and thus decrease panic.

I used to be very paranoid about showers and so I did sponge baths as often as possible. I kept things as open as I could so I didn't feel trapped: clear shower curtain, door open so I could see and I made sure the house doors were locked before I tried it.

I'm not sure what else to suggest. I'll think about it.

To reiterate, I know that anything said will be guess work but frankly so is everything my doctors are telling me regarding mental and physical diagnosis.

Do you have panic attacks without knowing you are panicking about something specific? Do my symptoms resemble anything you've experienced? I've had these symptoms independent of the shower but showers really seem to trigger them requently.

Originally Posted by BeyondtheRainbow

My first thought would be a shower chair with a handheld shower head on a hose. Then it's not so physically demanding and if you do panic you can sit and deal with it. You can get them at drugstores, Walmart, Amazon........It might also alleviate pain and fatigue that you are dreading and thus decrease panic.

I used to be very paranoid about showers and so I did sponge baths as often as possible. I kept things as open as I could so I didn't feel trapped: clear shower curtain, door open so I could see and I made sure the house doors were locked before I tried it.

I'm not sure what else to suggest. I'll think about it.

The shower chair is a great idea. I've been considering it for a few years and I think it's time to follow through. The whole situation is very dangerous and I have fainted a few times in recent years which could be deadly in the shower. Thanks for your input.

[Ocean Swimmer]

Yes. I understand.
I deal with chronic pain too.
I have such fatigue from showering. It's horrible. Sometimes I just rinse off quickly.
I'm out of breath and scared by the time I make it back to bed.
I have a routine that I do. It's a meditation technique.
It does get either harder or easier.
One thing about bipolar. You can count on change.
I hope you can find some peace.
Maybe an occasional bath instead of shower.

[BeyondtheRainbow]

Originally Posted by ElsaMars

Do you have panic attacks without knowing you are panicking about something specific? Do my symptoms resemble anything you've experienced? I've had these symptoms independent of the shower but showers really seem to trigger them requently.

I do have panic attacks that I don't always know the reason for. It usually goes back to PTSD if I can work my way back. However I used to have really bad panic attacks in my sleep with no known triggers; I'd be asleep and then I'd be awake and in a full-blown panic. My therapist had me try some cognitive stuff and those improved. The panic attacks without cause often come when I should be relaxing or am already relaxed and then boom! panic. They don't happen very often anymore after working on it in therapy but they are definitely no fun at all.

Originally Posted by Ocean Swimmer

Yes. I understand.
I deal with chronic pain too.
I have such fatigue from showering. It's horrible. Sometimes I just rinse off quickly.
I'm out of breath and scared by the time I make it back to bed.
I have a routine that I do. It's a meditation technique.
It does get either harder or easier.
One thing about bipolar. You can count on change.
I hope you can find some peace.
Maybe an occasional bath instead of shower.

I'm so sorry you deal with this and pain and fatigue too. (((Hugs))). It's really terrible. It takes me 3 hours to get ready to be seen in public because I have to rest in between every task. Shower, rest, brush hair, rest, brush teeth, rest, get dressed, rest, etc. you probably understand.

I do take baths. They are hard to get in and out of but are very relaxing compared to showers and actually help greatly with my pain. The problem is I don't feel psychologically "clean" unless I actually shower so I can't go out in public without showering.

[*Laurie*]

Hi ElsaMars, It's good to 'see' you.

Since the mind/body connection is so strong, my first thought is that your mind panics because your body is exhausted. In other words, your mind goes into a fight-or-flight response because it senses that your body is compromised by exhaustion from the shower routine. It seems to me that when my body is very tired and over-stressed, I am more likely to be extremely anxious and then possibly panic. I think this is especially, unfortunately, true when our bodies are sick.

I've used shower chairs after surgery at times in my life and they are very helpful. I hope you get one.

Originally Posted by LauraBeth

Hi ElsaMars, It's good to 'see' you.

Since the mind/body connection is so strong, my first thought is that your mind panics because your body is exhausted. In other words, your mind goes into a fight-or-flight response because it senses that your body is compromised by exhaustion from the shower routine. It seems to me that when my body is very tired and over-stressed, I am more likely to be extremely anxious and then possibly panic. I think this is especially, unfortunately, true when our bodies are sick.

I've used shower chairs after surgery at times in my life and they are very helpful. I hope you get one.

Hi LauraBeth! It's nice to see you too. (((Hugs)))

What you have written makes a great deal of sense to me. I think you're spot on with this interpretation. I'm still left wondering if part of the reason I'm always so sick is psychological. If I'm panicking without knowing it, maybe I'm in a constant state of panic which causes this sickness. It's all very confusing.

[Wanderlust90]

Originally Posted by ElsaMars

To reiterate, I know that anything said will be guess work but frankly so is everything my doctors are telling me regarding mental and physical diagnosis.

Do you have panic attacks without knowing you are panicking about something specific? Do my symptoms resemble anything you've experienced? I've had these symptoms independent of the shower but showers really seem to trigger them requently.

I have had multiple panic attacks without feeling actively anxious about anything in particular, most of the time when this happens I begin to think something physical is happening & think I'm dying & the panic attack is more severe. Other times when I know I'm anxious about something & when the sense of panic sets in I can breath & talk myself down.

I'm not saying it's not physical but your symptoms do ring true to my own. I usually also have palpitations, a sense of pressure pulling me down to the ground & this weird feeling of total physical exhaustion, shortness of breath, hyperventilation, dizziness, burning pain in my chest that spreads to most of my body along with tingling & numbness that has led to me being unable to move my hands (they became stiff too), nausea, dry retching & vomiting, increasing to semi conscious states when I lose control.

Panic attacks are horrible! I hope you find something that helps you soon. The shower chair & handheld shower head are good ideas.

[BeyondtheRainbow]

Just something I learned.......if you get a handheld shower if you can get one that has a regular shower head as well as the handheld you will be more comfortable in the shower. I had to use a shower chair and handheld for months after ankle reconstruction surgery and it can get a little cold with the handheld when you don't actually have it spraying on you. The kind with a regular showerhead too will help you stay warmer and happier in the shower. I've seen them for about $30 on Amazon.

Originally Posted by Wanderlust90

I have had multiple panic attacks without feeling actively anxious about anything in particular, most of the time when this happens I begin to think something physical is happening & think I'm dying & the panic attack is more severe. Other times when I know I'm anxious about something & when the sense of panic sets in I can breath & talk myself down.

I'm not saying it's not physical but your symptoms do ring true to my own. I usually also have palpitations, a sense of pressure pulling me down to the ground & this weird feeling of total physical exhaustion, shortness of breath, hyperventilation, dizziness, burning pain in my chest that spreads to most of my body along with tingling & numbness that has led to me being unable to move my hands (they became stiff too), nausea, dry retching & vomiting, increasing to semi conscious states when I lose control.

Panic attacks are horrible! I hope you find something that helps you soon. The shower chair & handheld shower head are good ideas.

I've been vomiting like crazy the past few weeks....I get spells and the doctor says IBS is blame but I think it might be panic related. I get obvious panic attacks when my mind is racing and thoughts spinning. I get the chest burning which seems to extend into the veins in my arms and my hands go numb along with the dizziness, shortness of breath and wobbly legs. My racing mind lends valuable insight which allows me to recognize it as a panic attack. But I'm now pretty certain I'm getting these attacks without the racing thoughts that I just assumed would HAVE to be present to be a panic attack. Why is my body panicking when I'm not thinking or ruminating on anything stressful? So bizarre! I don't tend to get the attacks while I'm actively dealing with the stress.....I seem to conduct myself well while dealing with stress and then crash afterwards and have the attacks after stuff calms down. It's all so weird. Your post was very helpful...thank you.

Originally Posted by BeyondtheRainbow

Just something I learned.......if you get a handheld shower if you can get one that has a regular shower head as well as the handheld you will be more comfortable in the shower. I had to use a shower chair and handheld for months after ankle reconstruction surgery and it can get a little cold with the handheld when you don't actually have it spraying on you. The kind with a regular showerhead too will help you stay warmer and happier in the shower. I've seen them for about $30 on Amazon.

My handheld shower head it like this. It's a rainshower type and when you pull off the head, you still get the water from the base so it is more comfortable. It definately makes sense that it would be more comfortable so I'm lucky to be covered in that area already. Thanks for helping.

[*Laurie*]

Originally Posted by ElsaMars

I've been vomiting like crazy the past few weeks....I get spells and the doctor says IBS is blame but I think it might be panic related. I get obvious panic attacks when my mind is racing and thoughts spinning. I get the chest burning which seems to extend into the veins in my arms and my hands go numb along with the dizziness, shortness of breath and wobbly legs. My racing mind lends valuable insight which allows me to recognize it as a panic attack. But I'm now pretty certain I'm getting these attacks without the racing thoughts that I just assumed would HAVE to be present to be a panic attack. Why is my body panicking when I'm not thinking or ruminating on anything stressful? So bizarre! I don't tend to get the attacks while I'm actively dealing with the stress.....I seem to conduct myself well while dealing with stress and then crash afterwards and have the attacks after stuff calms down. It's all so weird. Your post was very helpful...thank you.

Oh, EM. That sounds horrible. The mind-body connection is just so strong...I truly don't think we can separate them.

I always handle stressful situations responsibly and well- then crash afterwards. Completely, totally crash. That's when PTSD strikes. I strongly suspect that being the way we tend to be our minds and bodies really take a beating.

As always, I am wishing the best for you. I'm glad you started this thread and asked for help. ((((HUGS))))

(((Hugs))). I'm sorry you have the crash afterwards. Stress has sent me into the abyss on so many occasions. It's always after the event so when doctors ask if anything is bothering me I say no, and believe I'm being truthful because nothing that happened is on my mind. It's only in hindsight that my family and I see that something seriously stressful happened not long before.

I think so much of what I'm dealing with is PTSD related and my new therapist agrees. I'm dealing with a great deal of pain over this realization because I've spent so many years denying the impact that my abusers had on me. Now I realize they damaged me in such a deep way and how much impact their actions have on me and my family. I'm disgusted.....I'm angry at myself for giving them this power....but it's not my conscious mind doing it.....how do I fight against it?

[Wanderlust90]

Originally Posted by ElsaMars

I've been vomiting like crazy the past few weeks....I get spells and the doctor says IBS is blame but I think it might be panic related. I get obvious panic attacks when my mind is racing and thoughts spinning. I get the chest burning which seems to extend into the veins in my arms and my hands go numb along with the dizziness, shortness of breath and wobbly legs. My racing mind lends valuable insight which allows me to recognize it as a panic attack. But I'm now pretty certain I'm getting these attacks without the racing thoughts that I just assumed would HAVE to be present to be a panic attack. Why is my body panicking when I'm not thinking or ruminating on anything stressful? So bizarre! I don't tend to get the attacks while I'm actively dealing with the stress.....I seem to conduct myself well while dealing with stress and then crash afterwards and have the attacks after stuff calms down. It's all so weird. Your post was very helpful...thank you.

I think the mind/body connection is defiantly a concept that makes total sense in regards to my anxiety. I also had IBS as a child, always came on when I was under pressure of any sort, I just think at such a young age I wasn't able to identify what my anxiety was or why I felt it, it was expressed in a physical way, & sometimes still is. Perhaps it's an effect of the mind blocking out anxiety, like burying your head in the sand, & therefore it's expressed physically instead.

[99fairies]

You could try a shower radio to distract you from unwanted thoughts

[Musician1980]

Elsa, I'm sorry for what you're going through. I've noticed a lot of issues that cluster together with similar demographics (empathetic women and sensitive men) like fibromyalgia, migraine, TMJ, IBS, chronic fatigue, insomnia, are often treated similarly and serotonin type meds often help with every symptom all at once, which makes it seem like they all have one root cause, that that cause might be related to sleep and/or serotonin. It feels sometimes like all of the conditions are just symptoms of one underlying unwellness and with all of that physical disturbance going on, I definitely get how difficult it is to accurately what's going on psychologically/mentally and what is just physiological.

Originally Posted by ElsaMars

.. But I'm now pretty certain I'm getting these attacks without the racing thoughts that I just assumed would HAVE to be present to be a panic attack. Why is my body panicking when I'm not thinking or ruminating on anything stressful? So bizarre!

The $10,000 question, that is! The first panic attacks I had were like that, and often the kind of situation, like what Wanderlust describes -- with nothing to be panicking about(!) I'd actually say ... maybe about half(?) of mine are that way. Plenty, at any rate.

The only other kind of situation I find myself getting panic attack symptoms is related to going too long without eating (not on purpose so much as "oh, I'll just do this one more thing then eat" kind of delay). It does not sound like that's what's going on in the situation you describe, but as we talk about panic symptoms, it might be worth mentioning. My mind goes in total freak out mode just on account of the physiological situation.

Hope you can get it figured out, because it sounds awful!

[Unrigged64072835]

Originally Posted by ElsaMars

.....I seem to conduct myself well while dealing with stress and then crash afterwards and have the attacks after stuff calms down.

That's how I feel. I deal with the stress calmly but my body makes me pay for it afterwards. I usually just crash in bed and wait until it passes.

If your legs are wobbly then I'd definitely get a shower chair. I haven't had panic attacks in the shower but my mind has a routine so I follow it.

[MissCathryn]

Personally, showers calm me down. If I'm having a bad panic attack, jumping in the shower helps me refocus andcalm down